Parental Alienation

(6 Posts)
NewJerseyHousewife Thu 02-Jan-14 02:29:10

Sorry, I badly edited my post. I am talking about my ex not showing up.

The thing is you will not have been party to the proceedings, it would be the two parents only. As you were not involved in the court case, you would not have heard what the legal teams told the Judge, what the Judge said nothing, you will have bits of paper and what your husband tells you happened.

NewJerseyHousewife Thu 02-Jan-14 02:25:47

I feel for you as you will never know the truth unless you were at every court hearing and at every contact handover. He is your husband you will believe him.

The reality was despite him going to court he was before and during court hearings not showing up for contact, he was LYING about this to EVERYONE, he told them it was me that was not showing up to contact.

I would keep out of it if I were you.

Dumpylump Thu 02-Jan-14 02:17:26

I don't know if this helps or not, but I have friends with 15 year old daughters, and dsd1 is same age too.....lots of their social media posts are angst ridden and dramatic even though in reality they are doing fine!
I don't mean to belittle what you are going through, it must be awful, but maybe she isn't really as traumatised as you might imagine - especially since that is your only view on her life at the moment.

sykadelic15 Thu 02-Jan-14 02:04:17

You're in a hard place.

On the one hand I would want to contact her but on the other it could 'cause issues for her and her mother and you don't want her even more upset.

I would contact her on social media to the effect of "We've been sending you cards etc but your mother does not want us to have contact. If you'd like to meet up we would love it." and providing contact details or suggesting a meet in a public place.

chris3591 Mon 23-Dec-13 15:20:34

You just have to persist with letters cards messages birthday and Christmas presents that are never acknowledged. It is hard and painful.

If it helps my experience is the same but for longer... I' ve been in similar circumstances told that the child' basic survival instinct has developed that she cannot risk alienating her mother, as somehow she has been made to feel that she has"lost"her father.
The older she gets, the more independent she becomes and one day things may change, but you have no control over the timing. Just hang on in there and one day all 5 of you may be sitting round the same table. That's what keeps me hanging in there for mine. Hope that this helps. Courts lawyers waste of time unless you get straight on to parental alienation before child is about 10.

boogagirl Mon 16-Dec-13 11:51:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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