HELP!! Ex remarriage. Impartial advice please!!

(5 Posts)
jayjay2210 Tue 03-Dec-13 16:32:29

Just some impartial advice please!!

(Back story)Hi myself and ex split in July after over 5 years together, we have beautiful son who is three. The relationship was on the rocks for a couple of years and I decided to leave. He doesn't contribute financially even though he has a thriving business which we set up together, and I never made any claim towards the house (he owned it before we got together) I also left him pretty much everything and am in a load of debt because of it.

When I left I was bombarded with calls, texts and him turning up at more door crying, one time I had to call the police. He found out that I had a little drunken kiss so two days later he signed up to internet dating and met a girl (Beginning of August). 4 weeks later they are engaged and living together. I'm not jealous and I have my own wonderful relationship, the thing that concerns me is that our child is not being taken into consideration, He sleeps over 1/2 nights a week and I don't have a clue who this woman is. He hasn't weaned my little one in terms of getting to know this person and quite often cries about Daddy and (x) kissing, it must be confusing because literally 6 weeks before that was mummy and daddy. My ex didn't inform me about his relationship or the fact she had moved in. Now my ex has just called me and said next week he is getting married it's only been 5 months this seem ridiculous. The wedding is in Scotland (240 miles away, over 4 hours drive) obviously I'm not invited, and there is nobody mutual going who I trust, in fact he gave very vague details. The weeding is mid-week which means my little one would be missing 3 days of nursery (lots of trouble with a previous nursery just got settled into his new one)

Should I let my little one go? My gut says NO WAY!

oh and just got a letter from the nursery saying the little one has a Christmas concert on one of the days his dad wants to take him out of nursery.

Also I don't know if this has a baring on your opinions but his first date was where he purposed to me and was known as "our" place. We regularly took trips there when we were happy and if anyone mentioned the place they would automatically look at us. I find this a bit strange. Also my little one keeps coming home with "catchphrases" me and my ex exclusively used as an "in joke" when we first got together and now he must be using them with his new partner... i find it strange, it's as though he is emulating our relationship with his new girlfriend. myself and my current partner have a totally different relationship and are creating our own new memories it would feel really bizarre to start using things from any of my previous relationships in a new one. It's all a bit odd if you ask me!

AuntieStella Tue 03-Dec-13 18:56:30

He's probably got a limited repertoire, and those special phrases were probably recycled from his previous exes. Don't let it get to you - he's an ex for a reason.

What exactly has he suggested for the admin of DS's trip to the wedding and admin and care whilst there?

trixymalixy Tue 03-Dec-13 18:59:39

I think he has to be at his Dad's wedding despite your reservations. A Xmas concert is not as important as his Dad's wedding.

ivykaty44 Tue 03-Dec-13 18:59:44

gosh why does your ex want him there if he is marrying and his new wife might want some time for you know what.

I would suggest he asks his wife to be if it may cramp their style with a 3 year old at the wedding and in the hoonymoon room at night?

KingRollo Tue 03-Dec-13 19:04:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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