When to stop buying?

(5 Posts)
JoinTheDots Mon 02-Dec-13 14:31:07

My brother and sister have 5 children each, so Christmas can be expensive even if done on a budget. For the past few years the eldest 5 of the 10 children have requested cash not gifts, so have had money in a card. I always thought I would stop presents when each of them got to 18, but here is the wwyd...

The eldest 2 are now 18. One at uni the other not. I've not explicitly said to my brother and sister they are not getting anything, and my brother who's eldest is at uni said his DD was relying on Christmas cash to get through next term, while my sister said her DS was really looking forward to his cash to help pay for car insurance. I was feeling odd about going to the family get together and not giving them anything but now I feel really bad (we all have a meal at my brothers house before Xmas and give the kids presents)

So what do I do? Keeping giving cash (when will it end!) or stop this year and maybe look like a Scrooge? Might not be relevant but I have one child, who is still at preschool, and I am not rolling in cash (who is!)

YoureBeingASillyBilly Mon 02-Dec-13 14:35:51

Hmm- thats a tough one- i think if you e decided to stop at 18 then thats perfectly fine and really 18 year olds shouldnt be relying on money from extended family at xmas to get by! It wont be your fault if they cant meet their rent or insurance payments in jan- they need to budget properly.

I would just tell bro and sis that you (and partner?) dont give to dcs after 18 so their eldests wont be getting anything.

Or you could just reduce the amount you normally give if you really feel
Bad about giving nothing.

zebdee Mon 02-Dec-13 14:51:07

I'd probably keep going till they've finished education but I'm a mug hmm

Chopchopbusybusy Mon 02-Dec-13 14:57:45

My aunt said she will continue to give (cash) to my DDs until their 18th birthday. And then another cash gift on their 21st. My brother has said he'll stop giving them (again cash) on their 21st birthdays which is fine with me. I was quite pleased they both told me their plans. It was a lot less awkward than DD1 just not being given a gift.

starfishmummy Mon 02-Dec-13 15:02:56

We have had the same discussion and are carrying on until the person leaves uni. We don't give a lot anyway and I can just about remember being a student and a cash gift or voucher meant I could afford a treat or two!

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