Firstly, I would like to acknowledge that I am sure that this is ranked up there in the "nice problem to have" category, but I would appreciate some opinion on this one. I have name changed for this.
Here is my situation: DH is a few years older than me. We have very different professions in very different industries. We started a family a few years ago, they are still pre-school age, and I left my job whilst pregnant our first to accompany him on a posting overseas with every intention of returning to my career afterwards. It took me far longer than I expected, and a great deal of heartache, to re-enter the work place which I did just a few short months ago. I should point out that get a lot in terms of personal validation and recognition from my career.
Now DH has been offered another posting overseas, this time with a very generous package, rent paid, international school paid, low tax etc etc. We could basically retire when we came back. However, I would have to forsake my career in return. Having been through this already I now know that having one "maternity" gap on my CV along with a a few short months with a new employer, there is virtually no chance of returning to conventional career path after this. I initially thought that I could find a position when we relocated and was asked to send my CV in several times, but following a meeting yesterday, I have been told that there are no opportunities for women with a young family.
Tricky. Is this a one-off opportunity that will never come up again for your DH? What would be his alternative if he turned it down - could he stay on in his current job? What does he want to do? Would he be really miffed to have to stay in the UK and/or have to work longer before retirement?
Like you, I gain a great deal of satisfaction from my career and would never feel comfortable being a socialite expat wife long-term (my lack of style and cooking ability would mean I would be terrible at it too!). Knowing that going with this amazing opportunity would mean the likely death of my own career would make it a heartbreaking decision for me, so I completely empathise.
If there's any way you could defer going away for a few more years, to get yourself established again and so on, then I would take that option unless your DH is dead against it. Good luck with whatever you decide!