I've posted on the site a few times about my S. I am completely nc with her. DM has just told me that S has lost a baby. This is obviously very sad news and despite being nc I would never have wished it on her.
I have is that I spoke to a friend about this earlier and I've come to the realisation that S has been lying about over elaborating things for a very long time. So as upset as I am for her, I'm also pretty especially for my DPs who have been through the ringer with her.
I think my DPs want me to use this to bury the hatchet with her. I did make a point to say how horrible I thought it was and that I hope she is ok to DM, but I have no intention of re-entering into a relationship with her or allowing her in our lives again. However, I am wondering if I should at least send her my sympathies direct.
My problem lies in that there are no good scenarios here. I am either going to get a ton of abuse from S as I have healthy DC (she has history of this, she doesn't like that my kids exist - one of many reasons for nc), or she will complain to my parents that I have contacted her just to rub it in. If I leave it then I will be complained about for not at least messaging.
that was what I was thinking of doing, but I can't see a way doing it isn't going to open a can of worms. even if S stays away from me, she will make waves with the rest of the family.
I think I'm going to leave it. if anything happened to me she would be the last person I want to hear from so if anyone complains that I haven't directly sent sympathies I'll just say I wasn't interested in upsetting her further.
I wish I could claim some cleverness in not reacting straight away but its something I've been stung by too much in the past, so no I have no choice but to carefully consider any interaction. Although its my poor DPs who get the brunt, so it makes me a lot more careful