If you found your other half had been looking at pictures of an ex after looking at porn?

(4 Posts)
Joanne279 Sat 27-Jul-13 15:14:39

What a prat! Sorry but to me this is way over the line.

An ex belongs in the past. If he's still looking (albeit just looking) shes clearly not still in the past to him!

An ex lingering in your relationship to me spells trouble.

RoxyFox211 Fri 26-Jul-13 16:18:59

I don't think you can read much into it , the situation doesn't conclusively prove anything. I think it was vey respectful of your partner to admit it to you after breaking your agreement, however, if he hadn't you wouldnt be any of the wiser and not be in this paranoid position. What is it that bothers you about him watching it whilst your asleep (just out of interest)? If the issue is trust (which I get) then you know he's honest because he admitted it. You sound like you can be open with each other, why don't you ask him outright if he still has a thing for his ex?

Branleuse Sun 09-Jun-13 09:54:36

id dump.

im sorry.

hes crossed a line. a big line

ThinkyPantsWorryWort Sun 09-Jun-13 09:46:16

Hi all,

Really need to tell someone about this. My other half uses soft porn (nuts etc) when I'm not about. We have an agreement that it's ok if I'm not in the house.

The other night he admitted to using it whilst I was asleep. I was deeply hurt by this and we are still talking through what to do. He wants to ban it completely, I don't as I read some soft porn and feel it would by hypocritical. But I need to think more on this.

The biggest issue is that I had a snoop today. I don't really know why. I found he had deleted whatever he had been looking at the other night, but further back there were some of his usual pictures, but immediately after were some facebook pictures of an ex. Fairly sexy pictures of herself that she has on her account.

What do I do? 7 weeks in to our relationship (now together nearly 2 years) he sent her 2 inappropriate messages. I forgave and moved on . . . it was early days etc etc. He is out, I want to ring him and ask him to come home. I want to have this out but at the same time, I don't. I have a hugely important presentation to prepare for (it really is very important, career impacting in ways I can't quite describe without outing myself too much). . . and I want to focus on that.

At the same time my stomach is lurching and I want to throw up/scream/cry/pack his things up/tell him not to come back and stay with friends/.

I am in two minds. Do I admit to snooping? Or do I ask to see what he was looking at the other night, out of curiosity and when, it is of course not there, ask to see further back, thus outing the pictures of the ex and waiting to see what happens?

Or do I do nothing, wait and watch?

My heart is literally in my mouth.

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