I was a total cow today.

(85 Posts)
Schlub Sat 08-Jun-13 20:51:54

There was a child having a tantrum in the shop. He was crying really loudly because he couldn't have his own way. His mum told him to stop etc, the ignored him (I presume her intention was to ride it out, show him that crying won't get him his own way).

Anyways, I'm not entirely sure what came over me, but as I walked past him in his pushchair, I said "Ah, shut up." And not in a very nice way. Not in a jokey way. As I walked away, I heard the mum asking someone else "did she really just say that?"

She came up to me and told me I was "a disgusting woman". I replied with something along the lines of "what, because I told your child to shut up because you wouldn't?" After the mum went away, another woman walked past and said "you're lucky that wasn't my child you said that to".

I feel really bad about it now! I wish I could apologise to the mum for undermining her like that, and taking out my bad mood on her kid. It was wrong. Kids don't know any better. I should, I'm supposed to be an adult.

God, this image of her telling me I'm disgusting is going to stay with me for life. I just know it's going to replay in my head all night long, because it's been doing so all day. I guess that's my penance. That feeling of guilt. And shame.

At least I know I will never do it again. From now on, I'm going to strive to be a good person, and to bring kindness and happiness to those around me-regardless of how I feel. Even if I'm in a bad mood! I will be KIND! And MATURE!

To the mum and her son: I'm so sorry.

I was just wondering though, in this situation (from both sides, if you were the mum or if you were me) what would you have done? How would you have reacted? Again, I know I reacted poorly and it's not something I'm proud of. (Oh, and I'm not looking for people to tell me it's ok so long as I'm sorry or whatever, in case anyone though that! Because it's not! No sympathy grubbing here!)

HollaAtMeBaby Sun 09-Jun-13 10:13:04

Give yourself a break! You said what a lot of people in the shop were probably thinking. Yes, it was rude and unkind, but we're all flawed. No long term harm done.

FanjoForTheMammaries Sun 09-Jun-13 10:15:41

I highly disagree that everyone was thinking it.

I'm sure there were lots of people around who were understanding about toddlers and were sympathetic

Branleuse Sun 09-Jun-13 10:18:42

its hardly a critical village is it, one pissed off woman with a headache telling a screaming tantrumming kid to shut up.

I wouldnt have been delighted by it, but i wouldnt have been all guns blazing at the woman who'd had enough of someone elses brat being a complete noisy PITA

two of my kids have been mega tantrummers when younger, especially my eldest with ASD. Ive had comments ofc. I certainly wouldnt have had a massive go at someone who happened to have been annoyed by the screaming. Id have just explained and apologised.

Am more aghast that you think saying shut up to a child is an acceptable way to communicate with anyone by a stranger or family member.

I can't see why no-one would tell an adult to shut up but think it is ok to shout shut up to a toddler in a buggy!
Having had the embarrasment of common child tantrums myself , shouting at them would not have helped and tbh it would have been hard for me to hold my tongue tbh.

FanjoForTheMammaries Sun 09-Jun-13 10:31:40

You expressed a wish for a village though. .am surprised when you have been on other side

treaclesoda Sun 09-Jun-13 11:23:45

Its not so much about the child though. Yes, it Was horrible thing to say to a child but they'll probably not be affected by it. But the OP said that the mum had tried, unsuccessfully, to calm the child, so telling the mum that she was saying shut up 'because you're not willing to' (or whatever the words were) was really just intended to be hurtful. And judging by the mum's response the OP's words did hurt. So, the OP clearly achieved what she wanted to, at the time, albeit that she regrets it now.

gillywillywoo Sun 09-Jun-13 11:33:49

If I was the mother I would've turned around and told YOU to shut the fuck up.

You must have been in a serious mood.

scottishmummy Argentina Sun 09-Jun-13 20:57:24

and your cursing would be as bad as the original outburst

Jollyb Sun 09-Jun-13 21:21:18

Probably outing myself here but was shopping the other day and my DD (2 ) was having a tantrum because I wouldn't buy her something. I was pushing her down the street trying to ignore the tantrum. Stopped to text my partner to say we were leaving.

A young couple walked past - the woman said 'I hate people like that'. The man walked up to my daughter and said 'your mother's a c**t'

Was gobsmacked but appreciated the irony of someone criticising my parenting by swearing at my daughter.

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