crying in front of your dc

(10 Posts)
superbagpuss Tue 04-Jun-13 19:38:04

OK this one is a strange one - be great to know what you think

DC outside playing, me and dh had words (nothing seriously just hot and short tempered) and I huff into house.

I then fall over and fall very heavily onto my knee. I'm cross anyway and it hurts so tears come but I hold them in so DC don't see. dh comes running in to help me and I limp outside to reassure DC that I'm OK, just hurt my leg.

so would you cry in front of DC when you hurt yourself - its a light ankle sprain and bruised knee I think - or just hold it in so you font scare them? was I right to hide it and try and trivialise the pain?

WeAreSix Tue 04-Jun-13 19:43:02

I have no problem with my DCs seeing me have a few tears, whatever the reason. I think it's really important for them to understand that all emotions are normal and learn how to cope with them.

I cry all the bloody time and couldn't hide it from my daughter if I wanted too remembers all too well the humiliation of DD shouting 'are you crying' in the packed cinema after watching brave. To be honest before I had her I barely cried but she seems to have flicked the cry at all sad/happy thing switch in my brain from the day I found out i was pregnant, 10 years later I'm still at it blush

SwishSwoshSwoosh Tue 04-Jun-13 19:50:26

Why would you hide tears? Surely that suggests you are ashamed of crying, which puts unspoken pressure on your children to hold their feelings inside.

I think you were wrong.

I would have cried and explained why and explained that it would be ok.

superbagpuss Tue 04-Jun-13 20:19:28

I guess I didn't want to scare them by them thinking I was more hurt then I am.

TripleRock Tue 04-Jun-13 20:32:09

I cried in front of DD today because we had some bad news.

Short of locking myself in the bedroom all morning (which probably would have been more unsettling) I had no choice.

In any case I strongly feel that I ought to show my feelings. feeling sad, tears, frustrations, anger, they are all part of being human, and learning how to manage big emotions is a really important part of growing up.

It doesnt always come easy to me, but we are trying to have an atmosphere in the house where no emotions are 'off limits'. So we can work through things together rather than teaching DD to bottle it up.

ItsAllTLAsToMe Tue 04-Jun-13 20:44:35

I cried in front of DS last week when the shower head fell on my head when we were having a bath together. It was bloody sore, and gave me such a fright. DS (2.9) was great though - he shouted for Daddy to come immediately, then he asked me if I was okay smile.

It's interesting to read the responses on this thread actually.

I remember sobbing in front of DS (he was about 2yrs) when I had some bad news on the phone - my mum was ill. He looked worried but came and gave me a kiss and a cuddle to cheer me up. I felt really proud of him.

Both DC have seen me cry a few times over the years, I don't think it's harmed them.

MirandaWest Tue 04-Jun-13 20:54:14

How old are your DC?

I try not to cry in front of mine but sometimes they see me crying and that's fine - everyone cries sometimes.

Catmint Tue 04-Jun-13 21:04:00

Hi, I have cried in front of dd a few times. When she was tiny she didn't notice. If I am crying because I feel sad then I tell her so. It feels important to me to be emotionally genuine with her.

Once or twice I have cried because I have been angry or frustrated, and by her. That has been interesting/difficult/ultimately rewarding because we have talked about feelings etc

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