in this situation?

(108 Posts)

It's my dad's significant birthday in a few weeks. Mum and dad have booked a restaurant near them for a big family party. DH and I went with them a number of years ago, and DH was quite ill afterwards, not been since. We didn't mention it to either them or the restarurant at the time, which I now regret.
DH says he's not going. Parents are a bit irritated. Is there any compromise here?

NigellaLawless Mon 15-Apr-13 18:56:09

If this was my DH I would be mad as hell at him as i would think its incredibley rude and disrespectful to my father. However I certainly wouldn't lie for him. I would simply tell anyone who asked why he's not there. I would make it clear that I don't think the d&v came from the restaurant but that DH is a stubborn fool (
So as not to ruin the.meal for everyone else)

I'm sorry you are so upset about this. Your dad's 60th should be a really happy time! I hope you can put dhs stupidity to one side and enjoy yourself smile

garlicyoni Mon 15-Apr-13 20:34:09

<applauds AnyFucker>

DorisIsWaiting Mon 15-Apr-13 21:16:28

The only thing you need to tell opthers is the TRUTH!

He was ill after coming here YEARS ago, and was being a big baby about coming back. No further comment required.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 15-Apr-13 21:18:06

Does that not invite comment or argument though? I don't want to cover up for him, I just want an answer ti the inevitable questions that doesn't talk about D&V, and doesn't start with me airing my marriage's faults at a celebratory dinner.
Maybe I could say hed been picked by NASA to go into space.

I don't think so.

"He really doesn't like it here and is being a baby about it, so we came without him." They might think it is an odd situation, but their eyebrow raising will be directed at him, not you.

AnyFucker Germany Mon 15-Apr-13 21:53:14

This is not your marriage's fault, love

It's his fault, and his alone

Haven't you got that yet ? < note to self, must try harder >

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 15-Apr-13 21:55:36

Can he ring your parents and tell them? And ring his parents and tell them?

garlicyoni Mon 15-Apr-13 23:17:07

Stealth, my XH1 used to do this. Not exactly the same (he wouldn't have bothered with the 'traumatised by suspected food poisoning' bit) but was a right prima donna. After a while I stopped giving up my lovely dinners with friends & family on his whim. I just told people I'd be coming by myself and, when they asked what was up with him, said "He says he doesn't want to come. I do, though!"

If anybody wanted to make a thing out of it, I refused to make excuses for him - which he'd have preferred, obv - and told them to ask him themselves if they must, but as far as I was concerned it was sorted.

Sometimes people would say it seemed odd, and try to poke around a bit, but actually it was none of their business. I just made a big, airy joke out of his preciousness smile 'Twas fine.

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