bitchy parents. why?

(35 Posts)
rainbowslollipops Fri 12-Apr-13 19:58:10

a group of mums I thought I was friends with seem to have become bitchy and cold shouldered to me and my daughter and I've noticed its stemmed from one woman. I get the little snide comments about the fact dd goes to a childminder while I'm at work, my boyfriend works in a supermarket and anything else they can pick out. we used to take our kids out together, now they don't even consider me but happily organise it in front of me. I've tried asking what I've done and wipe the slate clean but they just carried on and I keep telling myself chuck them, you don't need them but it keeps coming back to me. It's starting to rub off on the others now which is awful since I live next door to one of them. Why is that woman doing this to me? Why is she turning others against me? I've been polite and nice heck I even invited them round for lunch. I didn't want to but I made the effort and didn't.get a thanks for that. what I don't get is that the one woman is happy to bitch about me but won't talk to me yet she's also happy to find out from others such as my mum what I've been doing. if you don't like me don't get involved with me. simple isn't it?

Bearcrumble Fri 12-Apr-13 20:05:32

How horrible for you, I'm so sorry they are being so nasty. I wouldn't make any effort with them any more. Try and make some new (real) friends.

rainbowslollipops Fri 12-Apr-13 20:10:06

I really would love to just put a massive wall up to keep them over one side but I can't. I feel like if I walk away from them then I'm about to start an argument or make things worse. Not that I can see how it can get much worse. I've not seen any of them this easter holiday and I hate to say it but I've loved every second without them. Push me to do this cause I know I need it! Even my partner had to put up with me in tears over this and he's struggling to get me to understand that I don't need them.

Bearcrumble Fri 12-Apr-13 20:42:33

But that doesn't make sense - it takes two people to have a row. If you disengage completely there is no argument.

Think and write down what's the worst that could happen in either case. If you maintsin contact they can hurt you again and again. If you cut off what could they really do to you?

Convert Fri 12-Apr-13 20:44:44

I totally agree with Bear Why would you speak to any of them if it makes you unhappy? Just cut all contact and don't look back!

rainbowslollipops Fri 12-Apr-13 20:52:30

That's very true bear I hadn't thought of it like that at all. I just don't understand why you'd go out of your way to make the person you dislike miserable? it doesn't add up.

Bearcrumble Fri 12-Apr-13 20:55:49

Because they feel inadequate/insecure and want someone to feel better than? Because they were bullied and are passing it on? Who cares really.... you don't need to understand them, just get away from them.

And ask your mum not to tell them anything any more.

rainbowslollipops Fri 12-Apr-13 21:00:01

Bear that's what I need a big push. Thank you! grin

LimitedEditionLady Sun 14-Apr-13 17:37:39

I had "friends" like that. It is hard to let go of them because obviously its not nice to feel like someone doesnt like you especially when you dont know why they have changed and you go from anger to wishing you could just sort it out and be friends again as weak as that sounds.my "friend"didnt like me and cos she didnt want me around made social gatherings and invited all of our friends and not me.she would say horrible things behind my back and smile and be nice to my face.i knew what she was doing but you know what?i just acted like i didnt know.not because i was weaker than her but because i dont need people like that around me and i dont care what a person like that thinks.it was her problem not mine and people like that are draining.school yard bullying.really she just showed her true colours to the friends we had around us through behaving that way and eventually you will see that people take all this in and itll come back to bite her.

rainbowslollipops Sun 14-Apr-13 18:05:48

Limited - that's exactly how I feel. They've spent the easter holidays on trips out together not including me or dd. I wish I could walk away easily though but I guess by literally distancing myself and just being civil is the only way. My neighbour is part of the group and I'd hate for it to effect living next to eachother which is why I've not stood up to them. I guess what you don't know can't hurt you.

LimitedEditionLady Mon 15-Apr-13 10:54:40

If you did react then shes getting what she wants.some people in this world just cant get on with people and need drama cos theyre so boring themselves so create situations for bullying cos they find it entertaining.she may even be jealous of you or feel threatened by your position in a group.you may be a bit lonely now but it wont be forever,dont react you seem too good a person for that x

rainbowslollipops Mon 15-Apr-13 13:42:54

I've realised by ignoring her comments and pretending it doesn't bother me does irritate her more. Just a shame adults get like this. Had I known this would happen I wouldn't have stepped near them.

cathers Mon 15-Apr-13 13:52:45

Do you feel particularly close to any of the other mums in the group? Perhaps have a coffee or go out with one or two of them which you genuinely like, then you get to nurture these friendships and you will probably find bitchy mum becomes less vocal if her harem is divided!

spanky2 Mon 15-Apr-13 13:54:27

It is like that around here. I had a lucky escape as the leader of the group had an affair with her new best friend's husband !

rainbowslollipops Mon 15-Apr-13 13:57:35

I'm kind of close to my neighbour but her best friend is the one causing the trouble but our friendship is mutual. We talk over the fence etc and say hi in the street and I like that as it is and she seems happy with it too. The others I'm not close to since they've sort of turned against me too.

rainbowslollipops Mon 15-Apr-13 17:26:31

And now apparently I'm ungrateful and won't be treated nicely now according to my friend who's friends with them on facebook. As if its not bad enough they don't involve me anymore now they plaster their dirty laundry over that. sad. want to run away now.

ohforfoxsake Mon 15-Apr-13 17:38:45

Christ they are ridiculous! Sounds like she is jealous.

Block them from your FB account. Do you really need them in your life?

Move on. Rise above it. The moral high ground has the best view anyway.

rainbowslollipops Mon 15-Apr-13 17:41:31

I wanted to stay friendly with my neighbour but apparently that won't happen anymore. Enough now. I don't need them. They're bringing me down for god sake.

ohforfoxsake Mon 15-Apr-13 17:52:43

You can stay friendly, remain polite and courteous, have a cup of tea together. You just don't need to be BFFs with these people.

It's not nice is it? But they are twats. grin

rainbowslollipops Mon 15-Apr-13 17:56:15

It's bloody awful. Last time I felt like this was at school. sad.

cocolepew Mon 15-Apr-13 17:56:50

They are just bullies, plain and simple.
Ignore them or smile and say hi if you want, don't let them see that you are annoyed. They will soon move on to someone else.

rainbowslollipops Mon 15-Apr-13 18:15:11

I'll be in for a rough ride for a while first. I don't understand at all. And I'm younger than them. Are people really this awful?!

spanky2 Mon 15-Apr-13 20:49:31

Some people are. The bullies at school are still bullies when they grow up. They still think they are at school! There are nice people out there you have unluckily got caught up with a group of women who think they are 15. I found it really hard to let go of the friendship. It has only been since I found out that my so-called best friend {who actually ran away from me in a shop,) had an affair with her new best friend's husband that I have been able to let go of my feelings of what have I done wrong? You haven't done anything there is no fault in your personality in this. Ying and yang good and bad.

MissFredi Tue 16-Apr-13 12:22:37

My boyfriend works in a supermarket! What's their problem?? He's doing better than me, I work in a "leading brand" pizza store! (Am I allowed to mention the name haha?)

Ignore them, they sound like poisonous witcheswink

rainbowslollipops Tue 16-Apr-13 15:17:41

He earns more than me working where he does! Yes ok it's no office business but he's worked his way up pretty well. Plus he gets discount lol. I've survived my first day ignoring their petty comments to me and have blocked them on facebook.

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