I'm sorry but there is no way he is not a member. What is the site actually for. When I started to read, I assumed it was a porn site which I kinda just thought 'well, most guys have a look at porn every now and again' but on reading further, i'm guessing its a meet up site of some sort? I'd have a look but might end up with some funny looks from DH if I do.
Anyway, there's no way on earth he's been signed up unknowingly - they have far too many details for that to happen. In all honesty, I would have been tempted not to say anything as early as you did and monitor the situation first seeing as you had access to his account. I suspect now he knows you know, he will avoid it for the time being tip it all goes away as it were.
The tears were probably cos he got caught out and didn't know what else to try other than the 'innocent card' so don't buy into them.
In all honesty, I'm not sure what I think you should do about it but I certainly don't think you should in any way brush it under the carpet and allow it to continue.
Sounds like he is a member, you have conclusive proof. He was crying because he was caught out and stressed. I would hit the roof and it would be over for me, I have dc as well which makes things even more complicated. Sorry not sure if you have any.
I think it would be a good idea to get this moved to the relationships board the above is just my opinion.There are some brilliant posters that help on that board.
I'm sorry Aqua but I think your DH is lying to you.
He has clearly registered on the site and been browsing on it.
However, from what you have said about there being no activity on it etc it sounds as though he hasn't done anything other than look at the filthy pictures. This could be his way to get some free porn maybe?
Still not great I know and made all the more worrying by his denial of it all and his quick use of emotional blackmail with the crying etc..
If you do not sort this out to a conclusion you are happy with I am sorry to say it will eat at you for years to come. This either needs to be resolved and you both agree to move on and never come back to it, or I am sad to say it is the end of your relationship.
As for the end of your post I think you need to accept that people (male and female) look at other people especially when they are dressed in a more provocative manner. Your reaction to this does suggest that you are a very insecure person and maybe this is something you need to address seperately.
I need advice on how to deal with this situation. I've been married to husband just under a year and we've been together for about 3 years before marriage.
Recently I asked to use his phone as mine was sent for repair. When I opened up the Internet browser page it was on an adult website (adultwork.co.uk) at the time I didnt think to check whether he was logged in or not, plus the search had been set to look for people in 'Barnet' which is where we live so obviously this set off alarm bells. I immediately shouted down to him as he was only by the stairs and said 'whats this website you were on?' And he denied being on there and shouted back something about changing his Google settings to 'Barnet' the day before or something (hmmm?)
I've also noticed he gets a lot of junk email offerring sex which goes straight to his junk inbox but why does he get so many in the first place? I only get thr usual emails so why would it be different for his email account?
As I was using his phone I checked his email and it had update emails from this adult work website, just summarising all the new members and so on, the pictures included were pretty filthy which made me annoyed.
I noticed at the bottom of the email it said hes received this email fir being a registered member snd this is not junk, plud it addressed him with his nickname. So was he lieing to me about the website? I decided to try and log in with his usual password he uses for everything whivh didn't work. I then asked for a password reminder using his email address and the password turned out to be his viechle registration number. What are the chances of that! I took a screen shot if all this from his phone and sent it to myself to keep. I did check his account on there but there seemed to be no activity or any messages or so on. I also changed his password. Later that evening I obviously got upset, he asked me what was wrong and i told him I think he's lieing to me. I told him I know he's registered on the site which he denied still. I then showed him the screen shot of his password and said how would they know your registration number then? Not like its that easy to get personal information like that. He still denied signing up, said he's never been on that site or what they have on there. He also said it could be spam and they've signed him up without him knowing but doesnt explain how the password is his car number plate and the fact that his nicknane has the year of his date of birth. He denied being involved with this website to the point where he started crying himself and saying how there is no point in trying to be a good persin when people still blame you for things you've never done. He was also extremely upset that I'd probably never trust him again because of this.
Part of me wants to believe him but another part of me is unsure. I've noticed he looks at other girls sometimes when we are out and that makes me feel weird. I usually ask him what were you looking at and the answer is usually oh nothing. And the girls he seems to look at are always dressed suggestively, sometimes he'll make up obscure reasons for looking at them. I don't know where all this has cone from. Maybe I'm reading into things too much and being paranoid and insecure about the whole thing but I can't seem to ignore that voice at the back of my head telling me maybe he isn't telling me the truth. Not sure what to do now or how to move on