Wwyd re OH doesn't like my mum?

(9 Posts)
Lonelybunny Sat 23-Mar-13 19:38:52

I've been with my OH for nearly 9 years. We have 3 DD's. he used to get on with my mum fine. Although she does sometimes have her own way / belief on disciplining the children and feels he is being too strict etc and can sometimes cause a little vibe but she doesn't take over but she may try and determine what the problem is and try and calm it all down. Over Xmas OH alcoholic friend was over one day and swearing in front of the children OH told him to please stop . He did for a few minutes then started again , I managed to get him out the house by making out we were going shopping. This friend has a tendency to hassle as he is very lonely , I can really see why , any way this particular day he must have rang my phone 5 times and I was getting very stressed and annoyed. My mum room it upon herself to tell him to stop ringing/coming over when he is drunk . Since then my OH has been very off with my mum. She then came over one day and he was upset the cat had claws his new chairs and he said the cat will have to stay outside to which my mum said you can't do that it's cruel , and you will be reported etc etc my OH took this literally , I took mum home and she didnt come to our house for around 3 months . Since then everytime she attempts to come and see the children my OH either makes no conversation with her or goes out to avoid her. Mum is picking up on this feels unwanted/awkward and leaves. We have all been invited for a holiday with my brother now I have to choose between my mum or OH as I know OH will refuse to go if mum goes. N.b I can't visit at her house as it is under renovation and not safe for the children.

LadyApricot Sat 23-Mar-13 22:21:09

Eek. I feel for you as both the people you love just can't meet we to eye.
I am kind of in the same situation as your husband but can't really avoid my mil without dh getting very upset and I give in but there's an atmosphere..
The only thing to resolve this is by talking. They won't want todo it b

LadyApricot Sat 23-Mar-13 22:21:55

Oops posted to soon!
They won't want to do it but its the only way things are going to be sorted out!

willyoulistentome Sat 23-Mar-13 22:34:42

Same situstion as you here. My dh can't bear my lovely mum. No advice I am afraid. It's been 7 years he has been grunting monosyllabically at her. He is an arse and she once told him so. Both at fault, but I am the one who has to manage the situation. Flipping awful

Lonelybunny Sun 24-Mar-13 09:15:29

It's really difficult isn't it. My mum does so much for us too. She buys the children shoes, clothes , buys the baby little biscuits and bibs Etc. helps me with work , would have the kids for us at the drop of a hat and just because of one disagreement he is being really arrogant I feel he is making me choose between my mum or him. My mum makes the effort always tries to talk To him etc but then like a child he puts his shoes on and makes up some crap story that he has to go out. He said he was getting his haircut yesterday but turned out he didnt and said he had been to a friends

edam Sun 24-Mar-13 09:18:41

Jeez, he sounds extremely sulky and self-centered. I'd be having words if I were you - with him. Tell him to stop acting like such a big baby!

Bluebell99 Sun 24-Mar-13 09:26:59

I'm on the side of your mum. Well done to her for speaking to the drunk friend. Lonely or not , he should not be behaving like that around your children. Your mum does alot for you, your oh needs to show a bit of gratitude. Your mum sounds lovely, please don't let your oh ruin your relationship with her.

Lonelybunny Sun 24-Mar-13 09:42:23

Exactly , his friend is a pita I can't stand him , he is rude, swears and a right p head. My mum could see how stressed out I was getting and she took it upon herself to support me and the kids. If he wants to see this friend I've told him go over there and see him I don't want him here. He is like a big child but if I tell him he just snaps and will continue to sulk like a big baby. He now also turned against my aunt because she smokes ? Seriously so what everyone has a choice ! I don't get on with his sister we really clash but I always make the effort when she comes make her tea sit and chat to her etc we even used to have her kids every other Sunday y she worked although I put my food down a bit on that one as she was dropping them at 6.30 am and collecting at 8.30 pm and my kids were exhausted every Monday morning. But I think this may stem from that and as if him saying we don't have her kids then I dont want your mum round sort of thing

Lonelybunny Sun 24-Mar-13 09:43:47

We do still have her kids occasionally but I just said not so oftern

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