Teacher called my DD fat???

(8 Posts)
scrubupwell Tue 29-Jan-13 13:48:42

My 5 yo DD told me yesterday that her teacher said "your belly looks fat today".

I tried to discuss this further with my DD to try and understand what context the teacher may have said it in (IE: was she smiling/joking with you, or did you have something stuffed under your jumper) She said that she was just sitting at her table and it could have been a joke to make her smile because she is always serious in class??

DD is quite serious and many jokes do go over her head.

DD does not seem bothered about it and came out of school happy enough. I also asked if she liked this teacher and she does.

Should I speak to the teacher about this as I don't think it is appropriate to make any comments to children about their personal appearance. My DD has always been just above the underweight BMI. Due to the negative body images young girls seem to have at the moment, I cant help but feel that this comment was at best stupid or at worst nasty.

Or am I overreacting and may end up making things worse if I go in to complain?

WWYD?

perceptionreality Tue 29-Jan-13 13:51:19

shock No, you're not overreacting, I would speak to the teacher about this. It's highly unprofessional for any teacher to mention the physical appearances of their pupils, and particularly their weight - there should be no reason for it.

spanky2 Tue 29-Jan-13 13:52:51

That is really shocking .shock

defineme Tue 29-Jan-13 13:54:23

Quiet word. I usually go in with the 'I'm not sure if I've got this right, but dd seems to be under the impression you said...' If she has actually said that then I'd be firmer and say 'please don't comment on her physical appearance again.'

chicaguapa Tue 29-Jan-13 13:55:19

I would mention it in a friendly way and say that you don't want your DD to get these kinds of messages. My SIL reminded my DN(8) that he's on diet over the weekend and I was a bit hmm so I understand how you feel. Don't turn it into a big deal, but just say that you are conscious of negative body images and you don't want DD to hear them from her teacher. Whether or not she thinks you're overreacting or agrees is immaterial as I don't think it's unreasonable to expect your DD to get positive messages from her school.

perceptionreality Tue 29-Jan-13 16:09:15

I think that if you mention it in a friendly way at least the teacher knows you are not happy about it and may be more careful what she says in the future.

scrubupwell Tue 29-Jan-13 18:42:22

Thanks for the advice.

I will approach it in friendly, diplomatic way as suggested and speak to the teacher about this.

kickassmomma Wed 30-Jan-13 09:07:56

I have been in this situation, well, in a sense anyway. When I was younger I was often called fat from here there and everywhere. I brushed it off but when I turned 8 I began to realise I was a lot bigger than my peers. I began dieting at 11 as the comments got to hurtful. It is essential ( in my opinion) that you do nip it in the bud and ask the teacher. Possibly suggesting that she doesn't use the word fat in future? I often play with my daughter and say Ohh look at your chunky belly but tickle it at
The same time. She knows we're joking. But in this generation with size zeros etc even at 5 you won't no how the comment is really perceive my your child or of indeed they remember the comment when there oldersmile

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