Bullying ex partner(6 Posts)
I have a 7 week old baby and I split with her father 3 weeks ago. He is a compulsive gambler, I have found he gambled £2500 in the 4 weeks after my baby was born. However that wasn't the only thing.
His attitude towards me changed. He was of no support emotionally or practically. I can sit here for the rest of time and write everything so I'll just quickly give a few examples. I breastfeed, he didn't like because he thought it would interfere with his bonding with baby. He never encouraged me when it got a bit much and instead chipped away at my confidence, telling me something wasn't right, the baby needs formula and it's doing my mental health no favours.
As all mums have experienced, the lack of sleep is exhausting and I took the midwife's advice and slept when baby did. He then began sulking, pulling his face and saying that I slept too much and should be up getting myself ready and doing chores when baby slept. I began feeling guilty and stopped doing so much.
I stopped saying things that I knew he would disagree with because I had this horrible sense of needing to be careful what I say and not to upset him. He got fed up with my baby blues and shouted at me that he was fed up of hearing me cry. 3 days after giving birth he shouted at me and put me on.a guilt trip because I refused to walk round to my mums with him so he could watch man u. We didn't have sky you see. He had me crying so much I felt sick. There's other things too. He forever pestered me for sex and when I told him to stop groping me he got pissed off as if he has some sort of right.
Anyway, I'd decided I 'd had enough and went round to pack some stuff to stay at my parent's that night. He went ape shit. He was slamming doors, swiping things from surfaces, screaming at me. His face was menacing, I've never seen him so mad. He got hold of me when I attempted to enter the bedroom and told me to fuck off out his sight. I told him he had no right to grab me and threatened ringing the police if he dared do it again. He then began throwing all sorts, missing my head by about an inch with a heavy, glass photo frame.
He's now using blackmail and bullying to get me to see him outside my parents home. Ive explained to him why however he wont accept. He's keeps telling me that I've cracked up and he even rang my health visitor because he 'had concerns for you and the bab's health and wellbeing'. Even his mum agrees and she apparantley went to work (at the drugs services) told midwives and social workers and told me on the phone they all agree that I gave post natal depression.because my symptoms point to that. I am definiteley not depressed. I have had depression before, i know what it's like.
He is now threatening joint custody, and because I have history of depression the courts will look at that.
He is using facebook to slander me and have people I know and strangers ridicule and insult me. Ive had enough. What can I do? Ive seen a solicitor. She just wasn't really interested in the bullying. He has access to the baby, but everytime I see him he's just bullying me.
Sorry it's so long. I've tried to be as concise as possible.
It all sounds a bit trivial, but like I said, theres much more, if I went into detail I'd be here forever. His behaviour is just not acceptable though, he's going to have me really crack up!!
I don't have much advice but didn't want to read and run. If you haven't already, please repost in the Relationships section. There are lots of very wise posters on there who have shed loads of experience in dealing with bullying, abusive partners.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby. I truly admire you for removing yourself and your baby from that horrible man. From your posts, you have done the right thing and you are a great mum. Take care.
Can you have someone a friend or family member do hand overs for contact for you?
Otherwise have hand overs at a contact centre.
Don't let him bully you. If he becomes aggressive or violent report him to the police.
Block him on fb.
He sounds awful
Having previously been in this position I cannot urge u enough to report every little thing to the police , u may need this info in court one day , I did!
Molly, this is not trivial. As Finola said please post this in Relationships. He sounds like a controlling abusive twat. Well Done for leaving.
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