Separation & telling the kids

(1 Post)
denis56 Fri 25-Jan-13 11:15:08

After 20 years together, I have decided to end my relationship with my husband. This has not been an easy decision.

We have had many many happy years. We have 2 girls, aged 3 and 6.

In 2011 I suffered bullying at work, moved on, then a job loss. I lost my dad, my auntie and my dog. All sorts of other awful things happened and whilst out of work, I tried to manage as best I could. Debts ran out of control and I have managed to get on top of them now and it’s now all fine. But at the time, my husband just kept replying he’d run out of money and couldn’t give me any more. And I was getting JSA. Consider, I had dropped from 40k to 60 per week. He managed to buy a couple of really expensive items though. Despite me repeatedly saying how much I was struggling to make ends meet.

My husband also suffered a period of bullying at work. He would be angry with me all of the time. I bore the brunt of all his anger, only emotionally, never physical.

In October 2012, I landed an amazing job. With a long commute. I got stuck in quite a few unfortunate road accidents, making me very late home, and each time I would be told how hungry the kids were, how they’d not eaten, how much I neglected the family.

I felt pushed and pushed until I snapped. I said I’d had enough and was going to move out.

Tomorrow, I pick up keys to my new place. I don’t even know how we are going to work out the logistics of picking up and dropping off the kids. My husband tells me I’ve now left him destitute. I have ruined everyone’s lives. I have ruined our children’s futures.

I have walked away from our house – which I half own. I am still paying all the nursery fees and supporting the kids financially. I’m taking a few bits from the house, but nothing he needs to replace.

Last night I told my 6 year old. She cried and cried. This morning she cried. I told her how much we both love her, that we are just going to be down the road, she will spend half her time with me and half with Daddy, that we will still do things as a family and we will still be there for her as mummy and daddy. I told her we will still have days out and still have tea together some nights.

I just feel so awful. I feel like the most selfish person alive. She said she doesn’t want us to be separate. I feel so utterly dreadful.

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