Valentine's flowers from a group of colleagues for a recent widow?

(16 Posts)
DrSeuss Fri 11-Jan-13 09:51:21

A much loved colleague has sadly recently lost her husband. On Valentine's Day, lots of people will have flowers arriving at work. A bunch for her with a message that her friends and colleagues love her lots or will that just make it worse?

abitcoldupnorth Fri 11-Jan-13 09:55:01

oh gosh, that sounds lovely. But so difficult to tell. Perhaps ask gently on bereavement board??

LibraryMum8 Fri 11-Jan-13 23:49:03

IMO I think it would make it worse. It's a nice gesture, and know it's meant kindly, but not Valentine's day. Wait until her birthday, or a holiday or something. This is just my opinion.

SinisterSal Fri 11-Jan-13 23:52:24

Worse I think. It will just under score they're not from him. Birthday or maybe even his anniversary would be more fitting, I would say.

IamtheZombie Fri 11-Jan-13 23:53:29

Zombie agrees with LibraryMum8. It's a lovely idea but would be difficult on a significant day.

Zombie was widowed a week before what would have been her 20th wedding anniversary. Late DH was extremely organised and thoughtful. Zombie lived in dread for that week that he had already ordered a delivery of the 2 dozen red roses that he sent her every year. Thankfully nothing arrived on the day. It would have been too much.

Yika Fri 11-Jan-13 23:54:11

Definitely not a good idea on valentines day. Nice thought, but it will really emphasise what she's lost.

PiccadillyCervix Fri 11-Jan-13 23:58:08

oh zombie sad

(zombie hugs)

lottiegarbanzo Fri 11-Jan-13 23:58:43

I would hate that. It's quite easy to ignore valentine's day, evn if others are absorbed by it. That would drag her into it when he has nothing to gain. The flowers would seem a poor substitute or creepy pretence. Her birthday would be much more relevant.

BackforGood Sat 12-Jan-13 00:01:52

I agree with everyone else - an awful idea, even though I can see it's well intentioned. sad

HeathRobinson Sat 12-Jan-13 00:02:03

I think it'd be worse. It would for me anyway.

She may even take the day off.

stella1w Sat 12-Jan-13 00:04:19

Take her out to lunch.

highlove Sat 12-Jan-13 07:46:19

Kind thought but I don't think so. She might not like people feeling sorry for her and could come across that way.

But it's a kind idea. A lovely colleague of mine in same situ would really appreciate something like that on the anniversary of his death. And it's nice to show you remember it - shear feel like people forget, which can be upsetting.

amistillsexy Sat 12-Jan-13 08:26:14

It sounds as if you are a kind, thoughtful group at work. Is it necessary to have flowers sent to work? Could you all suggest to your partners that, this year, they find an alternative?

ClareMarriott Sat 12-Jan-13 15:58:45

Dr Seuss

Bad idea about getting flowers for your colleague but don't agree with suggestion that any other flowers for anyone else are banned from being delivered as life goes on ...........

DPotter Thu 24-Jan-13 11:34:46

Not a good idea I think.
I run a crafting group for seniors and the first year I planned to make Valentine's day card - the ladies left me with no doubt that this was a bad idea and most of them had lost their husbands many years ago. Very thoughtless of me really - lesson learnt

NatashaBee Thu 24-Jan-13 11:40:55

I'd concentrate on distracting her from the flowers arriving, rather then sending her any. Can you find some activity which keeps her in a meeting room for the day or organise a team day out?

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