AIBU or AINBU, that is the question

[KateSMumsnet]

Zounds! It is Shakespeare Week, apparently.

To celebrate, we happy few, we band of brothers* thought we'd ask you clever folk to put on an antic disposition and post as if the cast of Shakespeare's plays had access to Mumsnet, similar to the classic Biblical Mumsnet thread

For example:

• SPORN - Out, out damned spot!
  

• DH has become really obsessed about an old handkerchief he gave me, is this a red flag?
  

• Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have to use tutors....
  

The three posts that tickle MNHQ the most will be bound for a prize all too precious (or whatever we can find in the cupboard).

So if MN be the food of love, post on....

* If you thought we wouldn't take this opportunity to shoehorn in and abuse Shakespearean quotes in for no good reason, you thought wrong.

[Strawdolly]

The course of true love never did run smooth, so LTB.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and AIBU to have slipped out last night and chain-sawed the neighbour's Leylandii?"

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Methought I was enamored of an ass or is it too early in the week for an anal sex thread?

[magimedi]

"O, 'tis sharper than a viper's tooth to be told IABU".

[KurriKurri]

'Exit, pursued by a Pombear'

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

She did commend my yellow stockings of late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered and she did then post an unflattering photo on Facebook!!! Should I go NC?

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Et tu, Anyfucker?

[CakeyCakeyCakey]

Is this a fruitshoot which I see before pfb,
The bottle toward his mouth? Come, let me clutch thee pearls

[NotCitrus]

DH, oh DH, wherefore art thou incapable of changing a loo roll?
Deny thy heritage and refuse thy piddledrops!
Or, if thou wilt not, be sworn but to use a different toilet
And I'll no longer get driven round the bend by it.

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

he heard a voice cry out: “Sleep no more, / Newborn does murder sleep".

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be nor in receipt of benefits... and, if thou dost, then buy not a new-fangled flatscreen television".

[BananaBeforeBed]

If you prick us with a pin, don’t we bleed? If you tickle us, don’t we laugh? If you poison us, don’t we die? And if you treat us badly, won’t we try to get revenge? Report, report, MNHQ will deal with you - permanently!

[BananaBeforeBed]

I love Kim's band of mothers.

[BananaBeforeBed]

"There live not three good men unhanged in England: and one of them is fat. Should I LTB?"

[RubySparks]

Double, double, toil and trouble
Fire burn and Slow cooker bubble

[BananaBeforeBed]

Ha! Art thou Bedlam? Nah, just my house.

[meditrina]

"O Romeo, that she were! Oh, that she were
An open arse, and thou a poperin pear."

AIBU to leave this in the erotic manuscript I'm editing?

[magimedi]

"A gin, a gin! My pfb for a gin".

[ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK]

God has given you one face, and you (with help of boots and a trowel) make yourself another.

[AtYourCervix]

Do you bite your thumb at me sir?

I bite my thumb sir.

Do you bite your thumb at me?

[CelticJuggler]

Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unpleasantness.

Too early for the Friday night drunk thread?

[CelticJuggler]

Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds.

Is this a red flag?