Over-eating out of politeness

(3 Posts)
ImogenTubbs Sun 07-Aug-16 22:26:02

Am new to this board (but not Mumsnet) so apologies if this has been done before, but DH and I both need to lose about 2 stone (me a bit more if I'm being honest), but I'm struggling with a sense of obligation around eating. Let me explain - we spend quite a lot of time visiting or staying with family and friends, and there are often parties or social activities centred around food, which they have often gone to a good deal of trouble preparing. I find that I have a sense of obligation to eat as much as possible in order to be polite and show I appreciate the effort they have gone to.

Now, I know DH and I have some other habits to break as well, but I'm really struggling with this one, as I hate the idea of all this amazing food going to waste, but there's no doubt it is really not helping. For example, we're just nearing the end of a two week stay with family and I've put on about five pounds.

Does anyone else experience this, and how do you deal with it without feeling horribly rude? The funny thing is, it's DH's mum, who is very slim, who always overfeeds us the most!!!

10storeylovesong Mon 08-Aug-16 12:51:28

I have this with both sides of the family and struggled a lot until I realised that it wasn't their health and happiness at risk, it was mine. I started to explain beforehand that I was watching what I was eating and why, and then sticking to it when I got there. I finally understood that if they ignored this, they were the ones being rude, not me. You wouldn't keep offering an alcoholic a drink, so why food to someone who is watching their weight?!

Ultimately it is down to you making that decision and saying no though.

clearsommespace Mon 08-Aug-16 13:02:46

There is always way too much food at PILs house. They don't eat too much themselves but they don't seem to have noticed their DC are no longer growing teens but middle-aged with sedentary jobs. The grandchildren are not yet ravenous teens.
We have a good relationship with them after a weekend there, we take some of the extra food home. It does for lunches in the week (we both have access to microwaves at work). That way they see we appreciate it but we don't over eat. (And they won't be eating the same food twice a day for a week!)
Could that work in your situation?

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