I don't feel I deserve self care

[ColinFirthsGirth]

I really need to lose weight and start to look after myself more. Logically I know I am worth this but deep down inside I know that I do't feel I deserve this. Others deserve care and attetion but not me. I have had lots of depression in the past and have come along way and have done alot to help myself. But this feeling is stil there. Have others had this? and if so how have you tried to get over it?

[PassTheSatsumas]

I think that weight problems and depression are often linked, and often gain myself in more difficult times

Don't think there are easy fixes - therapy for depression might be a good start point (helped me in the past and has helped me maintain a more reasonable weight too)

[ColinFirthsGirth]

Thankyou for your reply Passthe Satsumas - I have had a lot of therapy for the depression and my mental health is generally good. It is just this niggling deep down thing that is left.

[sleepwhenidie]

IMHO often the best approach to this kind of feeling is fake it to make it. Make a list of things that represent good self care to you, alongside nutritious eating...is it exercise, time out to read, or do something creative? Is it applying body lotion, going to bed early, having a lie in, saying no when you know what is being asked of you is detrimental? Pick one or two and commit to doing them for a week or two until they don't feel strange. Even if it feels like you are simply going through the motions at first, it can have a positive effect .

Also, are there other motivations to get you modelling good self care? Children, particularly daughters, are a big one here.

[sleepwhenidie]

Sorry, meant to say, once one or two start to feel normal, add more gradually

[Xenadog]

Maybe the way to rationalise looking after yourself is to remind yourself that if you aren't well, healthy and strong you won't be in a position to support or help others?

That kind of makes it legitimate for you to put yourself first IYSWIM.