Were you overweight as a child?

[DownWithThisTypeOfThing]

I've been obsessively hoovering up success stories to inspire me. I've noticed that for many of the people featured, they've had a lifetime of weight problems.

Is this the case for you?

It strikes me that as well as committing to a healthy lifestyle there's also an aspect of having to unlearn behaviours and mindsets gained over a life time. How are you doing that?

For me personally, I wasn't a massive child. Solid yes. Possibly a little pudgy at times. But I don't think I'd have been classed as obese. I do remember my mum trying to make me diet when I was about 9 saying I would get fat. My mum has always been obsessed with other people's her weight although we were brought up on the typical 80s diet of findus crispy pancakes and vests chow mein. I was never thin as a teenager but hovered around size 12 with hips and boobs. I dropped to a 10 briefly as an adult (skint, lived off crispbread & Philadelphia) but it was definitely not "me".

Sorry this has been long and rambling. I suppose what I'm asking is how to flick that switch and think like a normal person? I think I'm losing weight now but my mindest is very much 'punishment" and depriving myself rather than just eating as many people do.

Also, if you were overweight as a child does this impact on the way you are with your children? My children are very slim - I cook most meals from scratch, limit fizzy drinks, have the fruit bowl fully stocked, give a pudding after evening meals (but often something like yoghurt) AND I NEVER EVER MENTION WEIGHT TO THEM.

[FoodieMum3]

I developed pretty early, earlier than my friends. I had breasts, hips, periods at 11. I'm not sure that I was actually overweight, but I always felt 'fat', even then.
It was tough.
I have no idea what I weighed but I was probably a size 12 pretty early on.

My mother was obsessed with her weight and no doubt this rubbed off on me.

I was thin from age 16+ ,but did gain a lot of weight while at Uni, then lost it (2 or 3 stone, I would guess) until after I had DC and became overweight and then obese after dc2. It was nothing to do with the pregnancies, it was the lifestyle of becoming a sahm, I think. I lost interest in my appearance, ate huge portions, had several teas and coffees throughout the day and would probably have had 3 or 4 chocolate biscuits each time.

I'm slim now, again and finally feel like I've addressed it.

My children are all slim and tall like DH but I make sure they keep active too and diet is good maybe 90% of the time. I certainly don't mention weight and food in front of them.

[DownWithThisTypeOfThing]

Yes foodie mum I developed earlier than my friends too - I remember not being able to buy clothes from the same shops (Tammy Girl!) as I had massive hips

[katiegalloy]

Yes, I was overweight as a child. I wouldn't say I was massive by any means, but it was enough weight to impact on my daily life. (Admittedly, I think most of my insecurities about my weight were in my head).

I'm currently on a paleo diet, and the rest of my family, including my little girl eat the same as I do.

Personally, I think the Paleo diet is great. I am seeing and feeling the benefits of the diet for a long time now. Not only have I lost weight, but I feel much more energised, and much better in myself. I think the reason is that whilst the paleo diet may be a diet, I do actually eat much much varied food than I did previously. All I've done is taken out the stodge that my body finds hard to digest, and added more types of fruit, veg, and indeed meat.

I've now actually taken an interest in cooking paleo meals, which I can guarentee is 100% better for both me and my girl than throwing some ready meals in the oven like I used to.

I've become a real foodie, and would not survive on any other diet, but Paleo has been very good for me. I've written about one of my favourite cookbooks: cookbook-reviews.net/review-the-paleo-recipe-book/

[LadyBlaBlah]

No

Just writing that for balance.

I am not overweight now, never have been really. But then I do watch what I eat obsessively and exercise obsessively

[Milllli]

I wasn't overweight as long as my mother controlled my food. She kept my calories very low and wouldn't allow me to eat anything unless she gave it to me, as in meal times. She kept me very slim, some would have said too skinny for my height. We didn't eat carbs and I envied my friends who had " normal " food like potatoes and bread and puddings. She dieted heavily and was always slim and saw me as a reflection of her. When she wasn't around I would go through the cupboards eating a little of everything, making sure it was undetectable otherwise she would have shouted at me and made me feel shit. So I have spent a lifetime dieting, binging, hating my body. I stopped about fifteen years ago when I had my children. I read a brilliant book on how to stop overeating and put it into practice. Stocked the house with all the foods we love and ate mindfully. I ended my disordered eating for my daughter's sake as I didn't want her to grow up hating her body.

[helenahandbag]

I was a skinny child, always being called "skinny malinky" by family, etc. We were raised on a steady diet of oven chips, chicken dippers and ketchup. My mum policed our food and apparently I stole sweets and biscuits from the age of 3, a habit that never went away. I can't remember ever not having a secret stash and it just got worse when I was older and could buy my own junk food. I actually remember stealing toffee dessert sauce from my granny's cupboard and eating it out the packet, locked in the bathroom

I had no idea what I weighed because my mum is an obsessive yo-yo dieter and wouldn't have scales in the house. I weighed myself at a friend's house when I was 12, told my mum that I weighed 10st (at 5' 5", same as I am now) and she immediately took me to a slimming class and put me on a diet. She projected her own fears about weight onto me and would deny me food on the basis that I "didn't need it", and would publicly say things like, "pull your jeans up, you're belly's hanging out"

I was a size 10/12 then. My weight crept up slowly until I turned veggie at 16yo and because I knew nothing about protein and healthy fats, I ate nothing but baked potatoes and pasta for two years, shooting up from a size 14 to a 20 by the time I was 18. I'm now six days away from turning 25, I've lost and gained the same two stones more times than I could count, I'm a solid size 16 and I was referred to therapy for OCD and binge eating disorder. It's a barrel of laughs.

[helenahandbag]

*YOUR belly

[Micah]

I am exactly the same as you, o/p.

I don't believe I was overweight as a child. However I was told I was- put on diets, admonished for eating to much, "don't have seconds, you'll get fat". I was in fact superfit- training swimming four times a week, and distinctly remember having a six pack aged 9.

However I was "muscly" build, rather than my sister's bony/skinny build. So I was the fat one.

As a consequence I will never see my self as thin. Even when I went on a vlcd at 18, lost nearly two stone (under 8st at 5'4), and dropped to a size 8, I still thought of myself as that well built, taking up space kid.

[Milllli]

I'm reading everyone's posts and we are similar. Our Mums passed the dieting torch on to us . I dropped it and refused to pass it to my daughter. She is now 25 and loves her body and her shape. Think I did ok there.

[Milllli]

Helen it's hard isn't it, to let go of disordered eating.

[Owllady]

No, I was slim until my sister's death when I was 24 and I've struggled since

[DownWithThisTypeOfThing]

Micah
However I was told I was- put on diets, admonished for eating to much, "don't have seconds, you'll get fat".

And this is the thing flying round my head. I was told I'd get fat. And I did (as an adult). But my kids who I deliberately never mention weight to are very lean.

Like Helena

I knew nothing about protein and healthy fats

I knew about calories and "being good".

I'm going work on shaking these inherited links my brain has with food.

[DownWithThisTypeOfThing]

Milli what was the book you read?

[jerryfudd]

No, I was ridiculously thin until I was about 20 and started the pill and going out drinking.

I am tall and was tall for my age so being so thin didn't actually suit me. I had no Shape However couldn't put weight on for love nor money. We were brought up on chips and crispy pancakes too. My mom didn't care about weight and I don't recall her ever dieting.

I'm now in my 30s and after 3 kids am around 5 stone over weight as now, unlike when I was younger, I only have to smell food to put weight on. The only good thing is I now have boobs.

I am now finally doing something about my weight and started sw a few weeks ago

[Marshpillow]

Yes. My dad and stepmum let us eat whatever we wanted - microwave meals or pasta for dinner, and as much junk food as we could eat without being caught. Fizzy drinks instead of water. My mum, who we saw every other weekend, tried her best to get us into healthy eating habits but as soon as we went back to dads we'd eat shit again.
As an adult, I've always been a couple of stone overweight, and I'm now about three stone overweight after having a baby 6 weeks ago.

[chickydoo]

I wasn't over weight as a child, but like many teenagers dabbled with different diets. My mum was always on a diet. A houseful of slim fast shakes. (Yuck)
I remember going on a fish finger diet. 4 fish fingers and a pot of cottage cheese after school,,with cucumber slices. I only allowed my self apples to eat throughout the day. I lost a stone very quickly, and kept it off for 10 years.
I can remember before the fish finger thing I weighed around 8 stone 4-8 stone 7 ish. I was 15 and thought I was fat.
I am now 47 and weigh 8 stone 4- 8 stone 7 ish.
It must be my natural weight. I am not fat.

[ItsaTenfromDen]

nope, I was a skinny little thing till I was about 20 a nd then it all went downhill from there

[hillyhilly]

I was a skinny child as I was a picky eater, I put on weight once I went to Uni, drank a lot and ate unhealthy food.
I'm now slim again.
My dd is 10, is and has always been teetering on the border of overweight, she is not v sporty and likes all the wrong things, so I do find myself policing her. She is blissfully unaware of her weight but regularly asks why she doesn't get crisps and/ or chocolate to share with her friend everyday like they all get.

I do worry that she will be obese as soon as she has more control, her father is obese and she has the same build and pleasure in the wrong foods as he does. Eg would always eat meat, then carbs then try to leave veg.

[Octopus37]

I was a skinny kid (ate loads), my Mum had to buy kilts for me to wear for school so she could later them. Filled out during/after puberty, my Mum was always on a diet, putting on, loosing weight etc, she wasn't massive but was definitely overweight. Unfortunately I probably saw dieting as something tat women did and I have realised as I have got older that I probably see slim as successful as I'm sure my Mum did, although she would have denied this. My Mum was a very capable woman, with a good career where she could pick and choose and work part time around the family, very good at homemaking, in some ways quite a lady in terms of knowing how to behave, seemed to be successful at every area of her life but struggled with her weight. I got obsessed with my weight when I was 14 and struggled wit bulimia at different times. I have never been classed as overweight, but at the moment (having been thinner for a few years ironically after having my kids) am the biggest I have been for quite a long time, just under 9st (I am 5ft5). Struggle with comfort eating (although no longer bulimia), not great at the moment lost a dear friend last year and we have just lot my MIL. Have joined a gym, am fit despite being bigger than I want to be and have phased of eating more sensibly and having better day, today hasn't been one of them. My Mum hated me dieting and knowing that I had had an ed, but she would still be the first to comment if she thought something I was wearing was too tight, of on the size of my bum or on something that I was eating - not great really but think it was because of her own issues.

[Milllli]

Down the book was overcoming Overeating by Jane Hirschman.

[Dowser]

No I wasn't fat as a child. Just normal for someone born in the fifties.

I went to a competitive all girls school and at 15 I dieted down to 7-7lbs and I was probably about 5-3 to 5-5 tall.

I thought I still looked big and was probably on my way to anorexia. My uncle told my mum I was looking too thin. In my mind I wasn't thin enough. My waist was 23 ins and my friends was 21 ins.

She was smaller and finer boned than me. No one explained that at the time.

However a holiday put a stop to any dieting plans as I tucked into Puds after meals.

I stayed around the 9 stone mark and then fully grown at 5-5 but at college I indulged my sweet tooth and put on another stone.

I was probably about a size 12 then not the size 12 you get these days. I did a lot of walking.

I was 9-5 for my wedding and stayed that way till pregnancy when I had to diet it off.

What really escalated my weight was turning vegetarian and eating all the stodgy in sight for two years.

I got up to over 12 stone.

I got down to 9-6 with WW which didnt suit me, and then went back up to 12 and got it down to 10 with SW.

I seem to hover between 10-7 and 11

I've no idea what I weigh. If I weigh I'll eat to congratulate or commiserate.

I'm more inclined to eat healthily now anyway.

Dresses ( I always wear dresses now as I think I suit them better ) in my wardrobe range from size 8-18. They all fit. It's that vanity size thing and depend on cut and fabric.

I'm probably a 12-14.

I'm 63. It's daft to get any lower. I'd have even more wrinkles.

[DrewOB]

Very much so. Fed same as a child than my siblings who are stick thin. I do have PCOS though.

[namechange2015]

This is interesting to hear what your mother did or didn't do that affected disordered eating. My dd is overweight & ive recently changed tack from saying we shouldn't eat unhealthy food bc it'll make us fat to we shouldn't because I'm worried about our teeth. I'm desperately worried I'll do something wrong to give her a lifetime of weight worries. The other four are a normal weight?!?

[DownWithThisTypeOfThing]

Honestly I'm finding all of this fascinating. I'm usually very pragmatic but I can clearly see I need to flick a switch and that there's something I need to address.

Yy to the vegetarian stuff. When I gave up meat as a teenager I replaced it with things like cheese pasties so my mum didn't need to cook two meals. I was vegetarian for about 10 years and now eat chicken and fish. My youngest child is considering becoming vegetarian - if he does I will ensure he doesn't just replace meat/fish with stodge!

Name change - possibly focus on what healthy food adds rather than prevents? Energy, brain fuel, good health etc?

Milli thanks for book title.

[PleaseComeFlying]

I was probably classed as overweight by the scales as a child - but from photos, I can see I was just tall and solid, and actually look no fatter than other kids/cousins etc. School nurse when I was 8 told me and my mom I needed to lose weight, and said I should mainly drink water, eat more fruit and veg - think my mom was shocked because she cooked everything from scratch, and though we sometimes had home-made cakes or crumbles, we never had processed treaty things. (Though actually, now I remember, every Fri we'd walk the long way home from school to pass the sweet shop, and could have a quarter of whatever we fancied! These were not rationed, just when all gone, that was it.)

Think I am so lucky in that my mom has never dieted. Always said I look curvaceous and lovely. Always eaten whatever she wanted but all home-made and, crucially, eats when hungry and stops when full. I really struggle with this!

My dad however became the food/fat police. Made so many comments about my weight/looks that I would cry. He didn't mean to hurt me, just hugely tactless, I think!

So I got veeeeery funny about food, always felt huge (again from pics, I am not, I am just a solid build), had anorexic behaviours at Uni, then binge-eating and dieting since then. I am now 35 and back on a diet! What a waste of time!

Have started to do a CBT workbook specifically about weight loss by Judith Beck and Deborah Busis Beck (sp?) as a friend I know had great success with it, and I found CBT so helpful when I was badly depressed recently. It works with any diet and I am combining with lower-carb-style WW as I know that though hardcore low-carbing really suits my body, when I start to cut out whole food groups, I am much more likely to binge-eat.

What is funny is that now I have two kids of my own, boys, 3 and 6, and they weigh tons! So heavy! But tall and v slim, you can see their ribs, long slender limbs etc. And nobody would dream of thinking they were overweight. I do wonder about us all having heavy or solid bones! (No-one in my family has ever broken a bone is my only proof of this probably idiotic hypothesis )

I try to cook everything from scratch, really encourage my kids to eat when hungry and stop when full, and have balanced meals with plenty of veg and protein. They have chocolate if it's in the house but it's usually dark; we just don't buy sweets; if we make cake, they eat it when they fancy. I try to be relaxed but would really worry if they were overweight, just because I know what a headf*ck that can be. I also worry when they go through phases of not eating much, because they both had bad tongue ties as newborns and both failed to thrive! You can't win.

I read the Overcoming Overeating book a while ago, along with Fat is a Feminist Issue (which I really rate), and they helped me on working on my emotional response to good, but I still found I binge-ate when I surrounded myself with previously forbidden food. I do love that idea though, of learning to trust oneself around food. One day maybe...