Losing weight when sleep deprived...

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Is this actually possible?

My DCs (2.10y and 8m) are terrible sleepers and I am seriously, long-term sleep deprived. In almost three years, I have yet to have more than four hours of unbroken sleep. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've had more than three unbroken hours in that time. Sleep training and sleep consultants have achieved some improvements, but I think it's still going to be a very long time before I get anything like the recommended minimum of six hours a night.

Am I on a hiding to nothing if I start trying to lose weight? Or is there some magical way of doing it where I can maintain my energy levels without mainlining carbs?

I'm not really sure what I weigh, but pre-DCs I was size 8-10 and very fit and active. I'm now size 14-16, have absolutely no energy for exercise and not at all happy about it. I also work full time with a 45 minute commute morning and evening. No part of that commute can be transferred onto a bike or into a run and I don't get enough of a lunch break to exercise then. My plan for exercise would be to do a DVD after the DCs are in bed, and before the wake-ups start, but I'm just not sure how long my exhausted willpower would stand up to maintaining that...

Should I just accept being overweight until the DCs are older?

[IronMaggie]

That does sound tricky - I had a similar situation with my two (same age gap). You certainly have a lot on your plate. Is there anything non-essential in your routine that you can either cut out, our get help with during the week? You don't mention a DP - if there's someone that could help with wake ups or household stuff, as that could take one thing off your mind? When my DCs were waking up regularly (they still do, but less often!) DP and I used to alternate nights so at least one of us wasn't exhausted.

For me, the thing I found easiest to change was television. I was watching at least an hour or two every evening, so just switched to spending that time exercising instead. A dvd at home sounds like a good way to do it, and half an hour should be plenty of time.

The other thing I'd suggest is to do whatever exercise you enjoy the most. For sheer weight loss I'd generally recommend high-intensity intervals of some sort, but if you don't enjoy it you won't keep it up. You might prefer dancing, or boxing, or Pilates? But I think it is possible if you can find a rhythm that works for you.

Are you finding you have enough time to make healthy meals during the week?

[Rinkydinkypink]

I don't think you can. I've tried a lot and it's only once my dc have reached 3 and were sleeping through I managed a bit.

Firstly I just don't get the headspace to fuel up on willpower. I'm that exhausted I crave foods and don't have extra energy. I don't have time to exercise like I need to.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Thanks for the suggestions IronMaggie - DH does as much as he possibly can around the house and deals with DS1's wake-ups while I do DS2. We have a cleaner and I batch cook healthy meals. I don't think there's anymore efficiencies we can make there. I do enjoy doing DVDs so they're a good choice for me. I don't watch TV - I usually just go to bed when the DCs do because I'm so knackered, but I was wondering about the sustainability of pushing myself to stay up an extra half hour to do a DVD.

OompahLoompah and Rinkydinky have just confirmed what I've been thinking, unfortunately...

[Penguinotterfoxbadger]

If you don't have time for exercise (and tbf it sounds like you really don't!) maybe take a look at your diet? I'm not necessarily suggesting "going on a diet" as you probably won't have the will power if you're that exhausted. Just make sure you're getting all your nutrients, it is balanced (plenty of protein and bit overloaded with carbs) and you are not consuming unnecessary excess calories. I doubt it will make the pounds drop off, but you might lose a few, and it might make you feel more positive..

[Penguinotterfoxbadger]

Bit = not, obviously!

Also, make sure you are drinking plenty of water!

[Quitelikely]

The day weight loss is 20pc exercise and 80pc nutrition.

Is it possible you could make any changes in your eating?

What I found useful was trying to cut back on anything white.

No pasta, no bread, no potatoes.

This meant thinking hard about what natural foods I genuinely enjoyed the most.

So eggs became my best friend! I would have two poached eggs with fried cherry toms and mushrooms quite a lot.

Also tuna salad. Mmmmm. Even with lots of full fat Mayo or a small jacket potato.

Even though you haven't said I'm thinking you have a lot of white carbs in your daily eating.

If you can't eliminate them just reducing them by even 50pc will make a huge difference to your weight.

Have you tried posting here for suggestions about your children's sleep problems? I've seen lots of success stories.

[Quitelikely]

Oh and I cut out the wine!

And started to think twice before I put anything processed in my mouth......

[ElphabaTheGreen]

The thing that brought me to MN was my children's sleep problems, Quitelikely! I completely avoid the sleep boards now, with the exception of one support thread I'm on, as, apart from having exhausted all conceivable avenues for improving sleep, I have to resist the urge (and sometimes fail) to have a go at people whose DC sleep far better than mine, yet say they're 'shattered'. I know, I know...

I don't drink at all. I got married in a winery 10 years ago and spent my wedding night with my head down the toilet. I literally have not touched alcohol since then.

I eat pretty healthily for the most part, but I'm a strict vegetarian so cutting carbs is nigh-on impossible. I do stick to whole grains wherever possible (wholemeal/seeded bread), but with a picky toddler, white pasta has to feature once or twice a week. I'll treat myself to a couple of crumpets once or twice a week. Cake, biscuits, ice cream etc are my main downfall, so I just don't have them in the house, but I work in a hospital and people just keep bringing in sweet treats that are impossible to avoid when you get a chance to sit down...

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Oh, my portion sizes are also way too big. MFP taught me that ages ago, but feeling hungry on top of feeling exhausted is just unbearable, so I figure a massive plate of stir-fried veg, tofu and rice noodles is better than a small plate, then breaking and shoving in white toast and jam later on.

[Dowser]

My doctor ( very slim herself )told me to eat protein when feeling hungry.

I used to keep cooked chicken or salmon in the fridge. Oh dear. Sorry. I've just read that you are a vegetarian.

The time in my life that I put on most weight was when I became a vegetarian kids were young, cooking different meals I just loaded up on carbs. Cheese on toast etc. I put on two stone and was the heaviest I'd ever been.

My cousin is a vegetarian and I've noticed she will have often three types of potato at a meal when I often don't have any. She's tall though. She can carry a few extra pounds.

What lean protein can someone who is a vegetarian snack on? I don't know. I can only think of eggs.

I blood group O , the meat eaters so I tend to stick pretty much to that.

I don't do much in the way of exercising but can lose weight if I cut out sugar.

I'm often tired despite 6-7 hours sleep a night.

[mrsmeerkat]

Do you eat eggs op?

I feel for you, that is thought going. I have started to eat stuff like omelettes with one egg, two whites and weight is coming off fast. Mushrooms etc.

You can buy skinny pasta from Holland and bar

I am a smiliar size with two under 18 months but not back to work yet so that Is tough on you.

You will have to knock things like crumpets on the head. Maybe switch to green tea etc.

It's hards though.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Yes I eat eggs.

I'm trying to snack on nuts or a dollop of full-fat Greek yoghurt with pureed fruit mixed in (I 'borrow' it from the baby ). High-ish fat, I know, but good fats combined with fibre which should curb calorie absorption.

I'm conscious of the vegetarian temptation to carb-load on stuff like potatoes and bread, so I do my best to avoid that but when all my tired body wants is stodge and carbs it's phenomenally difficult.

[Quitelikely]

Carbs are nasty things! I did t realise how nasty until I came on mumsnet!

And going by what you have said so far I think they are responsible for your weight gain.

In your position, I would aim for ten thousand steps each day.

My iPhone has a health app, which it came with. As long as you keep your phone on you it counts your steps. Since you work in a hospital could you keep a check on your steps and try to get to ten thousand by walking more on the wards maybe?

[ElphabaTheGreen]

I wore a pedometer for a work audit once. I can't remember what the steps came to but I walk, on average, two miles a day, plus I'm an occupational therapist so do a lot of heavy patient moving and handling. It's pretty active as jobs go. Problem is, if I don't reach 10,000 steps, I have absolutely no way of getting them in elsewhere as I said in my OP.

I absolutely know carbs are the cause of my weight-gain. But am I setting myself up for failure by saying I'll reduce my portion sizes and do an exercise DVD every night because the exhaustion is too much to deal with? I'm very afraid I might be. I was hoping to hear from someone who managed to find the willpower and how they did it, but I have a feeling I might be on a hiding to fat nothing.

[SuchSweetSorrow]

I completely understand how difficult it is with sleep deprivation, I have had two terrible sleepers myself. I'm also a veggie- I'm convinced it would be so much easier if I wasn't! My diet is very carb heavy.

I feel that working out in the evening is just too difficult when you are that tired, but I have just seen that you work full time with a commute (you really must be knackered!) so it doesn't leave you with too many options.

Have you properly tried mfp? What are your weaknesses regarding food- do you struggle to eat a healthy dinner when you get in and eat crap like me or do you snack a lot in the day etc? I am trying to do mfp again after several failed attempts but I have more time to exercise than you so have started doing a Davina dvd (which is good if you do manage to get some time)

[BaconIsMyFriend]

You sound so miserable, please don't beat yourself up over your diet. I've been there as well with poor sleepers (although not as bad as yours I would like to add, you really are suffering there) and the urge to just hit the caffeine and biscuits (and toast and sandwichs with toast chasers) is nigh on impossible to resist.

I think it is about time two. With two small children, toast and carby lunchs/dinners are easier sometimes then getting a salad together and chopping it all up.

I would advise what another poster said. For the moment, just concentrate on eating some good foods daily. Have some fruit in the day, extra vegetables with dinner, an extra glass or two of water a day and maybe take a multi vitamin.

Build up some habits over weeks and months. I did this over the course of a year and it worked for me in changing my habits, when I saw my tummy was a little flatter it spurred me on, and I felt better in myself. Small changes. 2 biscuits with tea instead of 3 (! I know) Smaller packet of crisps with lunch, then eventually none. A big glass of water when I got in to work before my cup of tea.

Also work F/T with two little ones and a loooong commute.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

SuchSweetSorrow I have properly tried MFP - weighing/measuring everything, entering in all my recipes to get a calorie tot-up per portion, logging exercise religiously etc. It was broody brilliant and I lost a ton, but this was pre-DCs. It's how I learned what my weak spot is which is, as I said upthread, portion sizes. I don't have an off-switch and I can eat a ridiculous amount before I feel remotely full - I've always been like this but could keep a better check on it when I wasn't permanently exhausted.

I easily get my five a day (probably more, actually) but if there's cake, biscuits or chocolate in the office I cannot have just one, and if there isn't any in the office I'll nip to the cafeteria, almost against my will, even if I've had fruit, nuts and/or yoghurt. Breakfast and lunch I can keep to reasonable portion sizes of healthy, slow-release carbs and protein a little more easily, unless I haven't had time to make my lunch, in which case I will buy far too much food to plough me through the afternoon (e.g. big egg and salad roll plus chips), but dinner does end up being a crazy-big pile. I should just make less, but the feeling of needing to reward myself for (sometimes miraculously) staying upright through another day is very hard to shift.

Thanks for the support and tips Bacon.

[hippospot]

Sleep deprivation is truly miserable and you have a lot on your plate. I really sympathise.

A good friend of mine didn't lose the baby weight until her child started sleeping through the night, for this very reason. She couldn't get through the day without carbs and caffeine.

Hopefully the sleep will improve slowly but surely, in the meantime there are some good tips on here. Try to up your protein as it will sustain you longer than carbs alone and stop the blood sugar fluctuations that give rise to cravings.

Equally, be kind to yourself, it's very tough now. Small changes are probably a realistic start.

I agree with the poster further up who said weight loss is 20% exercise, 80% diet though.

Good luck.

[LD29]

Hi! Just to add that lack of sleep can prevent weight loss in itself due to stress hormone cortisol. Too much cortisol puts your body into survival mode, and fat loss during this is nearly impossible. I found this when I had depression. I was literally eating nothing and didn't lose weight as I was only getting 2h sleep at night! Worst period of my life!

[missinghome123]

Elphaba, you have lots of sympathy from me. In a similar position- 3.5 yo DD and 6month old DD. DD1 is a terrible sleeper- still doesn't sleep through. Sleep deprivation is awful, puts a big cloud over everything. Are you breastfeeding? I found with DD1 once she started eating more solids my weight dropped a bit (but guessing you have either experienced this or not with DC1).
I am eating so much sugar at the moment, it is sickening. I don't even really register it, just kind of inhale it. I am a size 12-14, but my stomach muscles (& pelvic floor) are shot after 2 long pregnancies, with 2 big babies. Just feel so unhealthy! But lack the motivation and energy to change.

Have you tried swooping some of your carbs for sweet potato? It is lovely baked (or in microwave for speed) with ricotta or cottage cheese. Gives you that feeling of carbs but is a lot lower GI and counts as 1 portion of your 5 a day.

The most success I have had with healthy eating and weight loss was when I was trying to eat 10 portions of veg a day. I got a bit competitive with myself! Had 2 servings of fruit a day too. You just have to be organised about having carrot, pepper batons, baby sweet corn, homemade guacamole etc in fridge. Could you take a day off work to get yourself some rest and do some meal planning etc?

[Anaisa]

I've found the willpower I have 3 kids who are 6, 2 and 1, I have a full time job and I study. I can't even remember the last time I've slept well. And by sleeping well I mean not waking up every 3 hrs.

This year I've lost just under 2 st and have gone from a size 16-18 to a12 and have 2 more st to go. The thing is, that I actually found that cutting out the white carbs and sugar helped me feel better. I stopped falling asleep at my desk after lunch and my energy levels are miles better than they were before.

So what I've changed in my diet - replaced white rice with brown & quinoa (Tilda do great microwave pouches), white pasta with wholemeal, cut out bread, cut out sugars and replaced snacks with nuts, dried fruit, healthy snack bars (nakd do some yummy ones).

It sounds hard, but it's only hard for the first few days, then you get into it and seeing the weight go down is hugely motivating. Maybe start with small goals i.e have a couple of low sugar and carb days a week and then gradually build them up.

Good luck!