Since going from a 18 down to a 10, I've started to notice that I'm putting weight back on. I work 60 hours a week and it's very telephone / meeting / desk based. In the beginning I was so rushed off my feet I didn’t bring in packed lunch and would eat a processed food from starbucks every single day and god knows what else.
I know better and would feel disgusting afterwards and that only made me eat alone at my desk more. I wanted / want to rip the bulge from my stomach. I’d go to the loo, take off my top and stare in the mirror in disgust. All my life I was a size 6-8 and I’ve only been having weight problems for the past 5 years. Initially it was the pill, but I’ve been off it for ages now and I just don’t have any more will power with this busy lifestyle .Before I got this job I used to go to the gym every single day and loved it. I aim to go before work everyday however when I wake up I’m so tired from the day before I can’t bear to get up. I’ve tried to perhaps just go to the gym on weekends and cut calories at work but when I do I cannot concentrate and get very tired. I’ve already started making packed lunch but he weight wont shift unless I get my arse in the gym.
Aside from literally having no time emotionally I feel destroyed. This yo – yo journey is more about weight. My family mocked me, my mother discouraged me from eating all the time, she called me lazy and fat despite being morbidly obsese herself. It was like a fun game to them. After coming off the pill I worked day and night to shift the weight and managed to, but I was living in The West Midlands alone in a studio flat with no money. I downloaded insanity from the internet for free (illegal and naughty I know) and worked out everyday. I was studying and only worked 16 hours a week and it was an easy stress free job.
Emotionally I’m like a zombie, its only weight yes, but I genuinely feel like an alien has invaded my body. As soon as the GP gave me a wakeup call 4 years ago and told me I was overweight for my height, I thought this journey was going to be a piece of cake. At the time my weight had only been an issue for about 6 months. I put it on so quickly. I thought I’d loose it in a month. It dragged on for 18 months. I can’t even remember my old body. Even now at a 10-12 I still don’t feel like me. The stretch marks, the cellulite, the excess skin on my breasts – they seem like bloody battle scars.
I’m so over hating my body, but you know what- I’m also FED UP with this diet/gym shit too.
How do i loose this weight with a 60 hour job, keep it off, AND KEEP WHATS LEFT OF MY SANITY!!!
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DEPRESSED BECAUSE I HAD MASSIVE WEIGHT LOSS BUT NOW PUTTING IT BACK ON!! HELP!!
14 replies
candidkate · 18/02/2015 16:30
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