Is anyone else waiting for someone to say "Wow, you've lost loads of weight"

(14 Posts)
alphablock Wed 05-Feb-14 10:35:10

I know, I know, I shouldn't expect other people to be as obsessed with my weight as I am. Hopefully they had not been thinking "Wow she's piled weight on", so why should they notice I've taken weight off.

I am 5 ft 8 and my weight has dropped from 19 st 2.5 in June last year to 15 st 11.5. I'm therefore still obese, but no longer morbidly, and I have gone from squeezing into size 22 jeans to fitting easily into size 18. I have had lots of positive comments from my family and a couple of friends who know that I have been making a real effort to lose weight, but I am still waiting for someone else to notice, i.e. someone who doesn't know that I have been trying.

When I look in the mirror or look at old photos, I believe the difference is very noticeable. I realise people who see me everyday will take a while to notice, but every time I see someone for the first time in months I am waiting for the comment. I find myself taking my (2 sizes 2 big) coat off and waiting for the reaction, but so far nothing. Sigh.

I'm being silly/needy aren't I?

MothratheMighty Wed 05-Feb-14 11:03:32

Could be lots of reasons, perhaps they just see you as you and don't register it, or perhaps as commenting on people's weight is a negative thing, they just don't risk it.
You are more likely to get a response if you start that conversation rather than waiting for them to initiate it.
Oh, and well done, starting is the hardest part and you've achieved a lot in a relativelt short and sensible timeframe.

Cheesyslice Wed 05-Feb-14 11:15:47

They may be worried about offending you. Don't worry thanks

I find different people react in different ways. I'm very senior at work, so colleagues don't tend to comment on how much weight the boss has lost grin Some friends are very complimentary, others are just weird. My nan tells me I've lost too much (I haven't - I've gone from 12st 8 to 10st 6) and tries to feed me.

I bet you look amazing, and the most important thing is that you look and feel better in your own mind.

trainersandaches Wed 05-Feb-14 20:17:10

Well done on the weight loss OP! I saw one commenter post on here last week that for her, people only commented once she had replaced her clothes for smaller ones.

I suppose people don't see you if you are wearing familiar clothes - plus you have lost a fabulous amount of weight so you may suit different shapes now. Would it be worth selling some bundles of your too-big stuff on eBay to raise funds to replace them with? Then you can swap down as you go.

I know for myself I would never comment on someone's weight unless they specifically brought it up so they may have noticed but not want to comment.

alphablock Thu 06-Feb-14 18:11:53

Thanks everyone. You all make a lot of sense and trainers you are right, I do need some new clothes (although I don't think my old clothes would be worth much on ebay!). I have bought a few new tops and new jeans, but I would like to lose another 3-4 stone, so I've been avoiding buying too much new stuff.

rightsaidthread Thu 06-Feb-14 18:14:57

It will definitely be the clothes. Having lost 3 stone over the last year I always get the most comments when I wear something more fitted and the new correct size

Took me a while to ditch the old wardrobe

Well done on your loss, fantastic!

rightsaidthread Thu 06-Feb-14 18:15:51

I shopped in charity shops when I was still going down the sizes alpha.

DorisAllTheDay Thu 06-Feb-14 23:20:31

There can be lots of reasons people lose weight, not all of them deliberate, e.g. illness or stress. Plus some people who lose weight might find it embarrassing to have people comment on it (I know I did/do). So even if people have noticed it, they might not want to say anything in case they inadvertently put their foot in it. I think people's weight is deeply personal - I don't comment when any of my friends either gain or lose weight unless I am absolutely positive they want to talk about it with me and I'm not starting a conversation that might be deeply embarrassing to one or other of us.

Congratulations on your weight loss. You've done fantastically well, and it's a very courageous decision to set out to lose a significant amount of weight. The person who is most important in all of this is you - your health, your self-esteem and your life. So enjoy your lighter self and the support of your family and close friends. If there's anyone else whose support you would value, perhaps you could consider telling them, as they may be embarrassed to raise the subject and would like permission from you to do so? And as for everyone else - well, in the scheme of things, their opinion/approbation really doesn't matter. You're doing this for you.

WhateverTrevor83 Sun 16-Feb-14 19:42:28

Hey OP congrats on your weightloss!
I'm in a similar position - same start weight as you but lost 4st still a bit heavier than you. I'm always waiting for people to notice.
Someone at work did grab me (not literally lol) in the lift and say 'oh you look great have you lost weight?' When I said yes and thanked her for noticing - she said that she had been meaning to mention it for a while and didn't want to embarrass me.

Sometimes people are worried about commenting on weight - maybe people have noticed and don't want you to think that they are thinking about your weight.

Anyway well done! X

PS I find it annoying when someone else (especially if it's a bloke) loses half a stone or something and every one notices! Haha x

WhateverTrevor83 Sun 16-Feb-14 19:42:53

Hey OP congrats on your weightloss!
I'm in a similar position - same start weight as you but lost 4st still a bit heavier than you. I'm always waiting for people to notice.
Someone at work did grab me (not literally lol) in the lift and say 'oh you look great have you lost weight?' When I said yes and thanked her for noticing - she said that she had been meaning to mention it for a while and didn't want to embarrass me.

Sometimes people are worried about commenting on weight - maybe people have noticed and don't want you to think that they are thinking about your weight.

Anyway well done! X

PS I find it annoying when someone else (especially if it's a bloke) loses half a stone or something and every one notices! Haha x

hugoagogo Wed 19-Feb-14 20:25:12

I wish people would mention it more; I've lost 3.5 stone in the last year or so, but hardly anyone has said anything,

I'm sure loads of people have noticed your weight loss, but feel awkward commenting.

Well done on doing so well.

Raggydoll Wed 19-Feb-14 21:23:04

People usually wait till they see you a few times . I lost 1 stone between July/sept. Only in jan did I get comments - but then I got lots, yay . But when they said have you lost weight I kinda said no not really I did last year though grin

My partner has lost about 5 stone and I've lost over 2 stone. After losing weight, all his friends kept asking if everything was all right. You see, he had been obese for most of his life, until we got together. Some of his old school friends (who hadn't seen him for years) would just walk by without even recognising him.
So that's how different he looks. I don't think I've changed quite as much. So I get the feeling people don't like to comment if the weight loss is drastic, just in case there's something 'wrong'. Funny old world!!

alphablock Fri 21-Feb-14 23:33:51

I finally got my wow moment today. Went to get my haircut and my hairdresser actually said "Wow!" when I walked through the door. She looked really shocked and asked how much weight I'd lost as she said I looked 4-5 stone lighter than last time she saw me (which was less than 2 months ago, during which time I have only lost 9lb). I had to reassure her I had lost weight gradually and had not been on some crazy crash diet! She was then really lovely and was so complementary I felt great.

Just goes to show though that people don't always notice small changes over time!

Congrats to everyone else on here, some great losses.

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