Every moment I hate myself for how fat I am, I am fed up! Am I the only one?!

(64 Posts)
FedUpAndOverweight Wed 04-Dec-13 07:27:59

I need help.

Every waking minute I am thinking about how fat I am, how I am starting to burst out of my clothes and how everyone can notice. I constantly think about food and how I shouldn't eat bad food, then I find myself chomping down on the snack box at work and hating myself for it.

Every Monday is a "new start", I do a diet for a day then give up because I haven't got results overnight. I'm torn between hating myself for being fat and thinking "sod you all" it's only the media telling me I should be slim and so stuffing my face again.

Please tell me I am not the only one? Please tell me I can stop this, and how.

I am not exaggerating when I say it's all day long. I can only dream of all the things I could do and experience if I lost 30lbs of fat as my mind would be free!

Having said all I have about the non-food aspect of things...Wrt to hormonal imbalances, food can have a huge impact. Anyone who thinks they may have such issues (whether pcos or not), take a listen to Alissa Vitti, she has a book called 'Woman Code' that gives dietary advice to address such problems. I don't have experience of it but hear good things from people who have.

I also have a client who tried Dr Hyman's 'ultra metabolism' diet for unrelated reasons but was completely shocked and amazed to find her previously horrendous, 9 day long pms symptoms completely disappeared and her skin cleared up beautifully. It's probably not something you want to be starting two weeks before Christmas wink but may be worth a try in the new year...it basically involves cutting out gluten, sugar, dairy, red meat, caffeine,alcohol and processed food for 3-4 weeks. You then reintroduce foods one at a time to test for your body's reaction. You can eat lots of veg, pulses, legumes, chicken breast, fish, fruit, brown rice, nuts and soya/almond milk. You will almost certainly lose weight doing it, even if you don't get rid of other symptoms.

Yes, Sleep .

A "holistic" approach is needed.

fedup and solid and anyone else feeling the same way about themselves...I really think that when we have a problem such as weight, binge eating, over-control of food, sometimes even health (especially digestive) problems, they are indicative of issues that need to be resolved elsewhere in our lives. They aren't about our willpower/control/greed at all. It could be almost anything causing stress somewhere else, relationships, work, money, lack of nourishment in a spiritual/creative/intellectual or physical sense. By which I mean, do you use and treat your body in a way that makes you feel good - dance, walking, yoga, long baths, massage, sex, whatever you enjoy. Reading, music, art, being out in nature for the soul. Time to be you....Also resolving old issues such as bad relationships/resentments towards people, often our parents...we often need to forgive those people and ourselves. Does this make any sense as an idea to anyone else?

That's a good suggestion from holly. I know it's hard, but I think you should also remind yourself that people are a lot more wrapped up in themselves than you give them credit for, if they notice anything about your appearance then they are very unlikely to be talking about it or giving it a second thought. What do you do for pleasure/enjoyment? What are you good at/drawn towards naturally?

hollyisalovelyname Sun 08-Dec-13 08:52:12

SolidGold have you been checked for polycystic ovaries. Go to GP re facial hair, may be ( sounds like) hormonal imbalance. May be a factor re weight

SolidGold Sat 07-Dec-13 19:26:28

Sleep, I just feel self conscious all the time and think people are talking about me behind my back.

I can't even claim to be plain but clever. I have no career, just a (very part time) job, there are huge holes in my knowledge and I'm too tired to be able to do anything about it hmm

lljkk Sat 07-Dec-13 17:52:58

All that time you spend worrying about being too fat is time you don't spend figuring out solutions to real problems, or coming to accept the things you cannot change. It's a comfort habit, displacement activity.

What does it stop you doing solid?

SolidGold Sat 07-Dec-13 17:15:04

(Sorry for hogging your thread FedUp.)

SolidGold Sat 07-Dec-13 17:14:33

Sleep, not sure. I have terrible skin, although not always visible, I hate my dark facial hair that I am constantly removing, and I'm just quite plain really. Also hate the colour of my teeth.

But I do think, no matter what, if I could change all those things, it would make no difference hmm

Flicktheswitch Sat 07-Dec-13 16:15:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

That's great fedup. Small changes can make a huge difference smile. Focus on long term health rather than quick fix weight loss.

Solid in terms of improving your confidence, if a fairy could wave a magic wand, what would you have her change? How would your life be different once it had?

SolidGold Sat 07-Dec-13 14:56:00

Well done FedUp smile Glad you're feeling a bit happier.

FedUpAndOverweight Sat 07-Dec-13 10:04:56

Hello all, and thanks for the continued tips. I am feeling a little better about myself this morning, I weighed 2.5lbs less than I did last weekend, I made a concerted effort to excercise and avoid white carbs in the last few days and clearly it's worked!

I did follow BIWI's bootcamp last year and it worked well so I am going to try again now I've had this little boost. I do agree with Zoe and John briffa that sugar is the enemy here and I need to wean myself off it. smile

SolidGold Fri 06-Dec-13 14:26:05

Yes Zoe has a degree I believe and struggled with her weight and food issues for years, including eating disorders if I remember correctly.

I think maybe the thread has derailed into a discussion about low carb diets and I'm not sure that's what OP wanted...I think we all agree that different ways of eating suit different people though. We each need to try different things to see how our body responds and how we feel in terms of deprivation/nourishment.

With regard to exercise, i am a huge fan and think everyone should do something, but it is extremely difficult to lose weight exclusively through exercise and impossible to out-exercise a bad diet. Fiscal you sound like a naturally active person who enjoys exercise and probably has a healthy relationship with food, which made it easy for you to get back to your natural weight after pregnancy. It's unfortunately not that easy for everyone though smile.

I do agree with fiscal actually, exercise is key. I think if you do a lot of exercise you can eat things like bread, potatoes and rice without them making you fat.

For those of you who low carb, can I ask a question? Do you feed your whole family the same low carb meals or do you dish up carbs to your kids and PH and just eat the protein and veg yourself? I would never want to eat differently to DS or DP, and think it might send out a strange message to DS that I can't eat some foods but he can? About two years ago we switched to having no white rice or white bread, and we mostly eat sweet potato instead of potato, or other mashed veg instead of mashed potato, but that is all of us, not just me, and I was just wondering if the people who really drastically reduce thier carbs make the change for the whole family?

Zoe is not a scientist by the way , is she? And neither has she ever been big?

Only following pregnancy, i put in 4 stone then!

Not overweight now but still a bit heavier than I used to be pre kids.

I am more into weight maintenance than weight loss at the moment .

Any weightloss I achieved after pregnancies was mainly through getting fit and active.

Maybe My opinions/experiences are not relevant to this board?

Fiscal - can I just ask - have you ever been overweight (by which I mean more than a 7-10lbs and not immediately following pregnancy wink) and lost weight?

SolidGold Thu 05-Dec-13 22:41:03

Fiscal, that sounds sensible.

Not sure about the exercise thing. Zoe Harcombe has studied diet in a lot of detail and says that if you burn more calories, you need to consume more calories. Sorry, I haven't got the book in front of me, so can't quote, but it made a lot of sense to me. Maybe someone will come along who can quote Zoe?

There are some very interesting books out there about wheat and the effect it had on a lot if people, if has apparently been tampered with a lot, as do much is required these days to meet our demands. I think one is called Wheat Belly.

Ok, when i say i don't low carb, i mean bread and stuff.

I am very careful about sugar (avoid it mostly, maybe have one sugary thing a day, like a hot choc, a biscuit or a small pud).

But plain rice/pasta/potato does not seem to make me fat (yet!)

I think it is all about exercise though, after a 1,5 hr session outside or a good swim i am starving and could eat a cow!

Still firmly believe the key to weight loss is more about exercise than about food (eating cake on a regular basis os obviously a NO, but cannot see bread as teh enemy)

Steffanoid Thu 05-Dec-13 20:39:11

this was me 8 weeks ago, apart from the trying different diests. I considered them then thought fuck it I'll have a cake!
I too have joined slimming world I have had 7 weigh ins and lost 1st 9lb so far,im never hungry eating such lovely food its great. I have abput 7 or 8 more stone to loose but for once I think I can do it!

bigkidsdidit Thu 05-Dec-13 20:33:08

BIWI runs low carb bootcamps in the 'low carb diets ' bit on here. I think there's one starting in the new year? I hope so anyway, I've still got a stone to lose!

siiiiiiiiigh Thu 05-Dec-13 20:13:44

low carbing means you don't get sugar cravings? Really?

Where do I go to read up on such delights?

and, find out how to construct a meal that's not carb based

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