Every moment I hate myself for how fat I am, I am fed up! Am I the only one?!

(64 Posts)
FedUpAndOverweight Wed 04-Dec-13 07:27:59

I need help.

Every waking minute I am thinking about how fat I am, how I am starting to burst out of my clothes and how everyone can notice. I constantly think about food and how I shouldn't eat bad food, then I find myself chomping down on the snack box at work and hating myself for it.

Every Monday is a "new start", I do a diet for a day then give up because I haven't got results overnight. I'm torn between hating myself for being fat and thinking "sod you all" it's only the media telling me I should be slim and so stuffing my face again.

Please tell me I am not the only one? Please tell me I can stop this, and how.

I am not exaggerating when I say it's all day long. I can only dream of all the things I could do and experience if I lost 30lbs of fat as my mind would be free!

ARealPickle Thu 05-Dec-13 11:30:50

What sort of meals are complex carbs veg abd protein?

Chicken potatoes peas and carrots?
Spagetti bolognaise?
Fish potatoes and veg.

Just thinking about what I eat. Lunch is usual ly a sand which. Breakfast porridge. Apple at some point. ..... and then all the rest.

If I stuck to the above would that work?

Rather than trying to figure out which carbs are simple/complex pickle it may be easier to just avoid anything processed or white carbs most of the time - so as a rule don't eat any white potatoes, pasta, white rice, bread, anything made with white flour. Choose whole foods as your source of carbs - lentils, beans, chickpeas, quinoa, sweet potatoes for example. Try and have at least one meal a day without any carbs (except the ones in veg) and see how you feel, adjust accordingly, take them out of another meal if you feel its working well. Some people feel fantastic lower carb, others not so much.

So in your examples if you have had a sandwich at lunch I would have chicken with the veg plus another portion of veg, no potatoes. Bolognese I wouldn't do at all, have lamb chops or a steak with roasted veg. Fish - have roasted salmon fillet and tomatoes with veg and maybe a portion of lentils (ready made sachets are great and take 1 min to warm up). Or make a carb-light version of fish pie - steam a bag of spinach and pop in a baking dish with some cherry tomatoes, add some smoked haddock/white fish, mix up some creme fraiche with grated cheese, lots of pepper and chopped spring onions with a squeeze of lemon juice. Blob this all over fish and tomatoes. Sprinkle with some granary breadcrumbs and a bit more grated cheese - bake for 20 mins and serve with broccolli or similar.

At lunchtime switch to soup or a big salad with lots of veg and good protein.

Breakfast is best if it has protein too - porridge is much better than cereal but eggs/fish/yoghurt with nits and berries also good.

nits...nuts!

ARealPickle Thu 05-Dec-13 12:04:45

Sleep - that sounds like a low carb diet?

The food leaflet I got from the Dr said to try and include pasta/bread/potatoes at each meal!

siiiiiiiiigh Thu 05-Dec-13 12:06:19

lurking.

not licking.

The NHS food pyramid is still saying the majority of our meals should come from carbs - but there's huge amounts of evidence to show that this isn't the best way. Not least the number of obese people around. Many doctors also agree. Also, too many people then eat huge portions of carbs. What I'm suggesting isnt low carb, but it is lower carb and by choosing whole food carbs that I suggest your body will get more nutrition from them. A 'true' low carb person wouldn't have any bread, pasta, lentils, rice, very little fruit, no porridge...what I'm suggesting is to reduce carbs and when you do eat them, choose low GI ones. Pasta, white potatoes, white rice and white bread really have very little to offer nutritionally, your body will do much better on unprocessed stuff.

You don't have to take my word for it but you could just try for a couple of weeks and see what happens and how you feel...it won't hurt you and it won't be forever, but its a healthier way of eating, not a diet. You can still occasionally eat a bowl of pasta if you fancy it, I'm not saying you should ban anything at all!

roguepixie Thu 05-Dec-13 12:19:38

You are not the only one. You sound as if you are in a cycle of eating/feeling bad/eating and have a poor self image.

I do not want to tell you what you 'have' to do but there are some steps that need to be taken or you will continue in this cycle. Do some research on current diets/eating plans - what seems to 'make sense' to you? Is there a plan that stands out as something you feel you can commit to? There is no point doing the Dukan Diet if you want to eat lots of fruit. There is no point in cutting carbs if you like baked potatoes or rice. You need to find the plan that works with you and doesn't create a struggle. Steer clear of the word diet - you want a plan that helps you make permanent changes.

Some truths are that not all fats make you fat - there are healthy fats out there - focus on them. Protein makes you feel fuller and satiated so protein should be a part of every meal (wherever possible). If you don't buy the crap you won't eat the crap - there are few of us who want to go out at 9pm in the dark and cold to buy a chocolate bar but if it's in the fridge we will eat it. Start moving more...don't want to go outside yet - get a DVD or Wii/XBox exercise game, can't afford a gym - go for a walk around the park (unless you don't want to go out yet). Enlist the help of a friend - you are more likely to exercise if someone else is relying on you being there too. Make use of support networks - the weight loss threads here are excellent - create your own and others will join in with you. Make small changes at first if you don't want to make radical changes straight away. Start to talk to yourself about positive self image - many weight loss groups have a portion of their meeting dedicated to helping its members in this area.

In my experience it is important that you find something that works for you and you can live with and to start moving around more. Little steps.

I do Slimming World because it allows me to eat fruit and baked potatoes. It provides me with an upbeat, motivating class where I can start to feel better about myself. And it doesn't make me feel bad about where I am at the moment, only excited to get to where I want to be.

Don't forget the diet industry is worth millions. It is worth that much because it is full of short term fixes that don't last and full of images of what is considered perfection that makes the rest of us feel inadequate. You want to be fit and healthy - use that as a guide. Really start to tell yourself how worthwhile you are, how beautiful, how successful. It doesn't matter if you don't really think you are at the moment - repeat, repeat and repeat all those positive messages and they will start to take root.

You are an amazing person. Good luck.

SolidGold Thu 05-Dec-13 12:31:54

By the way, I eat bolognese sauce (made with tomatoes, mince, onions, peppers, etc but no sugar) with mashed swede or mashed cauliflower or roasted celeriac chips. It's yummy. The same goes for chilli con carne. I also make cottage pie with mashed swede on top instead of potato.

What Sleep says is good advice. Cutting out sugar and white pprocessed carbs and drinking lots of water will make a huge difference and if you can fit in a walk each day too, all the better.

If I remember correctly, (processed) carbs fill you up temporarily, but afterwards cause your blood sugar levels to drop dramatically, leading you to crave more. Protein and healthy fat fill you up and you won't feel the need to top up your sugar levels until the next meal.

(That's just from memory, lots more info in the Harcombe books.)

That's right solid - the processed carbs cause a blood sugar spike, a burst of energy, but its followed by a crash that leaves you sleepy and feeling like you need to eat again.

Roguepixie is talking sense about finding a way of eating that suits you. Changes need to be sustainable.

I was serious about the questions to OP about how she imagines life will be when she loses weight. I think we have this all the wrong way round, believing that life will be a certain way once we are slim...it needs to be turned around. As much as you can, live that life you imagine now - tomorrow isn't guaranteed for any of us! Take baby steps towards it. Stop waiting to fix the body in order to have that life...fix the life and the way we think of and treat our bodies and the body will follow and become maybe not exactly how we imagine it should look (lets face it, we're not all meant to be Gisele), but healthy and how it is meant to be...and also not such a focus for our life and scapegoat for all our other issues.

SolidGold Thu 05-Dec-13 15:57:20

That's very true, Sleep. I've weighed as much as 13.5 stone and also as little as 9 stone, I still didn't wear different clothes or feel any better about myself. I just have confidence issues and I'm not sure how to retrain my thinking. However, when I eat sensibly - lots of veg, no processed carbs and lots of water - I feel much better and have more energy.

I do wonder about the carbs thing...

I eat carbs with most meals. Bread or rice, pasta or potato.

I don't get sugar cravings, weird lows or spikes. If I eat carbs with my meal I simply feel satisfied and no need to snack or eat for the next 4-5 hrs.

Only rich or heavy food makes me sleepy.

Think I burn the carbs off through exercise.

Low carbing would not work for me, it does not work for everyone.

True Fiscal, and if you are feeling healthy, with no mood swings or energy slumps and are happy with your weight then absolutely, why would you fiddle with it? But if you aren't, then reducing processed white carbs and sugar is a great place to start experimenting to see what it does for you.

Personally I eat moderate carbs most of the time, a couple of slices of granary bread with breakfast or lunch, maybe some lentils, grains, beans with lunch or dinner, but sometimes just veg and protein. I only occasionally have potatoes, pasta, rice or white bread. I'm not trying to lose weight, exercise hard most days either kickboxing or heavy weight training and HIIT and feel great eating this way.

bigkidsdidit Thu 05-Dec-13 19:50:54

OP I used to eat LOADS of the chocolate at work, if someone brought in cakes I'd think about them all day and eat three! It was miserable.

I've gone low carb too, on the bootcamp thread on here.
I've lost weight (1.5 stone in 11 weeks) but the best benefit has been the sugar cravings have absolutely gone, totally disappeared. I cannot tell you what a relief it is.

SolidGold Thu 05-Dec-13 19:59:26

Fiscal, I used to be the same, but for some reason now my metabolism has changed (maybe my age?) and I can no longer eat what I want.

I agree everyone is different, but craving sugary food could be helped by a low carb diet.

Eating no processed carbs makes me feel much better for lots of reasons. I do however plan to eat a varied diet once I have lost the extra inches round my waist. But I just don't miss most carbs, except really good bread!

siiiiiiiiigh Thu 05-Dec-13 20:13:44

low carbing means you don't get sugar cravings? Really?

Where do I go to read up on such delights?

and, find out how to construct a meal that's not carb based

bigkidsdidit Thu 05-Dec-13 20:33:08

BIWI runs low carb bootcamps in the 'low carb diets ' bit on here. I think there's one starting in the new year? I hope so anyway, I've still got a stone to lose!

Steffanoid Thu 05-Dec-13 20:39:11

this was me 8 weeks ago, apart from the trying different diests. I considered them then thought fuck it I'll have a cake!
I too have joined slimming world I have had 7 weigh ins and lost 1st 9lb so far,im never hungry eating such lovely food its great. I have abput 7 or 8 more stone to loose but for once I think I can do it!

Ok, when i say i don't low carb, i mean bread and stuff.

I am very careful about sugar (avoid it mostly, maybe have one sugary thing a day, like a hot choc, a biscuit or a small pud).

But plain rice/pasta/potato does not seem to make me fat (yet!)

I think it is all about exercise though, after a 1,5 hr session outside or a good swim i am starving and could eat a cow!

Still firmly believe the key to weight loss is more about exercise than about food (eating cake on a regular basis os obviously a NO, but cannot see bread as teh enemy)

SolidGold Thu 05-Dec-13 22:41:03

Fiscal, that sounds sensible.

Not sure about the exercise thing. Zoe Harcombe has studied diet in a lot of detail and says that if you burn more calories, you need to consume more calories. Sorry, I haven't got the book in front of me, so can't quote, but it made a lot of sense to me. Maybe someone will come along who can quote Zoe?

There are some very interesting books out there about wheat and the effect it had on a lot if people, if has apparently been tampered with a lot, as do much is required these days to meet our demands. I think one is called Wheat Belly.

Fiscal - can I just ask - have you ever been overweight (by which I mean more than a 7-10lbs and not immediately following pregnancy wink) and lost weight?

Only following pregnancy, i put in 4 stone then!

Not overweight now but still a bit heavier than I used to be pre kids.

I am more into weight maintenance than weight loss at the moment .

Any weightloss I achieved after pregnancies was mainly through getting fit and active.

Maybe My opinions/experiences are not relevant to this board?

Zoe is not a scientist by the way , is she? And neither has she ever been big?

I do agree with fiscal actually, exercise is key. I think if you do a lot of exercise you can eat things like bread, potatoes and rice without them making you fat.

For those of you who low carb, can I ask a question? Do you feed your whole family the same low carb meals or do you dish up carbs to your kids and PH and just eat the protein and veg yourself? I would never want to eat differently to DS or DP, and think it might send out a strange message to DS that I can't eat some foods but he can? About two years ago we switched to having no white rice or white bread, and we mostly eat sweet potato instead of potato, or other mashed veg instead of mashed potato, but that is all of us, not just me, and I was just wondering if the people who really drastically reduce thier carbs make the change for the whole family?

I think maybe the thread has derailed into a discussion about low carb diets and I'm not sure that's what OP wanted...I think we all agree that different ways of eating suit different people though. We each need to try different things to see how our body responds and how we feel in terms of deprivation/nourishment.

With regard to exercise, i am a huge fan and think everyone should do something, but it is extremely difficult to lose weight exclusively through exercise and impossible to out-exercise a bad diet. Fiscal you sound like a naturally active person who enjoys exercise and probably has a healthy relationship with food, which made it easy for you to get back to your natural weight after pregnancy. It's unfortunately not that easy for everyone though smile.

SolidGold Fri 06-Dec-13 14:26:05

Yes Zoe has a degree I believe and struggled with her weight and food issues for years, including eating disorders if I remember correctly.

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