Every moment I hate myself for how fat I am, I am fed up! Am I the only one?!

(64 Posts)
FedUpAndOverweight Wed 04-Dec-13 07:27:59

I need help.

Every waking minute I am thinking about how fat I am, how I am starting to burst out of my clothes and how everyone can notice. I constantly think about food and how I shouldn't eat bad food, then I find myself chomping down on the snack box at work and hating myself for it.

Every Monday is a "new start", I do a diet for a day then give up because I haven't got results overnight. I'm torn between hating myself for being fat and thinking "sod you all" it's only the media telling me I should be slim and so stuffing my face again.

Please tell me I am not the only one? Please tell me I can stop this, and how.

I am not exaggerating when I say it's all day long. I can only dream of all the things I could do and experience if I lost 30lbs of fat as my mind would be free!

sonu678 Wed 04-Dec-13 07:34:17

I think you have a very bad relationship with food and your image, and that needs addressing. Being fat or not is secondary. I hope that makes sense, though I fear it doesnt.
I hate how fat I am, but, I dont spend as much time thinking about it as you are saying you do, because I feel it is unconstructive, and if I am unable to do something about it, then its best not to let the negative feelings consume me. But I think that you are saying you cannot make yourself do that? If so, you need some help with these thoughts.
What I would suggest is that you learn to forgive yourself, and be kinder to yourself. Set yourself small, easily manageable goals, and when you acheive them, you let yourself feel good about yourself, and it will become a positive spiral. If weightwatcher/your gp/a counsellor/your best friend are what you feel will help you acheive this, then please use them.

Lastly. Hugs. I know what ts like to feel fat and hat the body I am in, and what an awful feeling that is. But if you can, concentrate on what is lovely about it, and I am sure there is plenty that is, and then try and accentuate it for yourself. Sod the media. You need to be slimmer for you: your mental and physical well being.

sonu678 Wed 04-Dec-13 07:35:37

a small tip for today? try drinking tap water everytime you are thirsty, instead of juice, or squash. It will reduce your calorific intake, and it is one small tiny, but sure step towards feeling better.

hellsbells99 Wed 04-Dec-13 07:45:10

I know how you feel. I have spent the last couple of years saying I will diet and lose weight - bought the Dukan book etc. Anyway my sister eventually talked me into going to slimming world about 10 weeks ago. I have now lost over 20lb and have gone down over a dress size. I have more to lose as weighed in at over 16 stone. But i can see the results and it hasn't been too difficult. This time last year I was avoiding going on social does but I feel much happier now.
So take a deep breath, think positive, stop hating yourself and join a local slimming group to support you.

carvedpumpkin Wed 04-Dec-13 07:56:53

I feel just like you! Scared to start another diet incase I fail. Reading the above I think I'm going to join slimming world again. Just need someone to hold my hand and come with me!!!

Timetoask Wed 04-Dec-13 08:05:04

The good news is that your problem has a solution. So please try not to feel too upset.

Can I ask, what sort of food would your supermarket trolley usually have?

I find that if I don't buy it, I don't eat it.

I have heard of people doing the 5:2 eating plan and working wonders.
Also, going to the gym everyday, even for 20 minutes will help. Once you see the pounds falling off you will have so much motivation you will keep going.

SolidGold Wed 04-Dec-13 08:08:15

Don't beat yourself up. A lot of the food we eat has addictive qualities in the effect it has on our bodies.

Have a look at Zoe Harcombe's book/website, she explains the chemical process in our bodies and what makes us crave more food. Very interesting reading.

FedUpAndOverweight Wed 04-Dec-13 08:13:34

Thanks so much for the replies, I didn't think anyone would answer or understand where I'm coming from.

I have to say, mostly I'd say we eat well, love our vegetables, lean meat, fish etc. My downfall is the sweet stuff, sugar basically. I've tried not buying it before then in desperation I find myself baking a cake from scratch at 11pm as I haven't had sugar all day (which is what I found myself doing last night, low point or what).

I just hate myself for having zero self control, basically. Just so disgusted with myself that I can't say no to the snack box or making a cake. It's pretty poor really.

FedUpAndOverweight Wed 04-Dec-13 08:16:17

Solid, I am addicted, that's exactly it. I feel weak and out of control and addicted to sugar.

I have literally tried all the diets (or so it feels like!), I've spent hundreds on books, gyms, running kit, videos, special food, WW, SW, low carb foods, slim fast.

I mean how embarrassing is that?? All that money wasted and I cannot commit to a single thing for more than a few days. Why can't i?? It's ridiculous.

Timetoask Wed 04-Dec-13 08:16:24

The good thing about the 5:2 "diet" is that you don't have to deny yourself the sweet stuff on other days (provided you don't over indulge).

Do you do exercise? It's good eating heathly, but you need to combine that with some calorie burning. Do you have fund for a personal trainer for example? Having someone waiting for you at the gym forces you to go.

hellsbells99 Wed 04-Dec-13 10:33:00

carvedpumpkin - I will do a virtual hand hold!!!

Honestly I am finding the slimming world easier than expected. Using spray 1 cal oil; not eating hardly any bread - jacket potato most lunches; having a chocolate cereal bar daily (70 cals / 3 syns) which satisfies chocolate/sweet craving - or having a curly wurly! Lots of protein, fruit and veg; and mullerlite yogurts.
I generally have 1 day 'off plan' a week but am still trying to make sensible choices!

Don't commit to a diet, or a book.

try to find an activity you really like (anything active, walking, cycling, tennis, swimming, dancing, golf….what sport did you like as a kid?) the start incorporating that sport into your life. Start with once a week, then build up to 2 or 3 times.

Doing an activity you love, will make you feel grateful for, and positive about, your body.

If you feel hungry: Eat something. The ideal diet is not eating :"nothing", you should eat nice food that makes you feel satisfied. If you want something sweet, have a nice hot choc before bed, or a slice of toast with jam.

It is not all or nothing.

Self hatred must go!

Beechview Wed 04-Dec-13 12:25:11

I know exactly how you feel. I really hate how fat I've become. I refuse lots of invitations because I can't bear for anyone to see how fat I am.

I've recently got into the habit of eating 3 meals a day. I just ate whatever I felt like. If I felt like a desert, I had one. If I wanted cake at 11, I told myself that I could have that cake but only as part of my lunch.
I'm now in the habit of eating only at meal times. I've also managed to cut down on my sugar intake as a result of this. Dh gave me a mince pie last week and I genuinely could not eat it as it tasted too sweet.

Now that I've got used to eating at only meal times, Im now tackling the food I eat so I'm doing a low carb way of eating. Not strictly but in a Zoe Harcombe diet kind of way. Basically, I'm eating porridge for breakfast than having no carbs for the rest of the day but any veg(inc veg like butternut squash, sweetcorn, peas) except for potatoes.

I am desperate to lose weight. I genuinely believe that I can't have a nice life being overweight. I can't bear the thought of getting together at Christmas with family and being this fat so I'm trying really hard now.
I've got 3 weeks. Its enough time to lose at least 1/2 a stone which will make a big difference to me as I'm not very tall.

SolidGold Wed 04-Dec-13 12:26:53

Fedup, sugar is addictive. I really recommend Zoe Harcombe's books, Why do you overeat, when all you want is to be slim? And Stop counting calories and start losing weight. She explains the chemical process that happens in your body and why you crave sugary things.

smile

FedUpAndOverweight Wed 04-Dec-13 15:01:02

I have just downloaded those two books, thank you.

Beech view I think that is what I should do, stick to the three squal meals. Snacking is my downfall. I am trying to keep my mind busy on other things but it's difficult!

I actually could have written your final paragraph. Words for word that's me. Do you really think we could lose half a stone by Christmas?

Afraid to say I never got into sports as a kid. I was one of those who was always picked last for the team and I definitely was not one of the darlings of the PE teacher! To be honest I do enjoy the gym I just never seem to stick to it for long blush.

Fedup the best advice given so far is from Sonu and fiscal. A diet is not the answer, shifting your mindset is. You could force yourself to diet and do exercise you hate, all the time hating your body and feeling deprived and miserable until you lose some weight but you will then join most other ex-dieters and regain the weight, there is no point in that. Your body is only 50% about what you eat (and sugar is horrible for you but that's not the most important thing).

How do you imagine your life will be different once you lose all the weight you want to? Apart from having smaller clothes, how will you feel about your body, what will you do with it that you don't do now? What other things would be different? How would you eat?

CrispyHedgehogFucker Wed 04-Dec-13 15:26:05

I'm not going to give you weight loss tips but I will say that its' not the weight that's the issue, it's your head. I speak as someone who's lost close to 200lbs and all the while thinking once I'm thin life will be perfect but guess what? it's not. I'm still the same person with the same life and the same issues, I just take up less space than I used to.

I think if you can work on your mind then the rest will follow.. good luck x

moldingsunbeams Wed 04-Dec-13 15:34:55

op I have a awful relationship with food,
I used to be very slim and fit, I then was in an abusive relationship where I did not get enough food (I weighed 7 stone while 9 months pregnant)

Now I am obsessed with food and will eat everything in the house and am now 14 stone and a size 16. I HATE it but my eating is obsessive now. sad

Beechview Wed 04-Dec-13 19:45:34

Fedup yes I really believe we can lose at least half a stone by Christmas. I've done Zoe harcombe diet before and lost 7lbs in one week. There's no reason that I can't do this again.

It will be hard but I'm looking at it as a 21 day project with day 1 over.
I'm also doing sit ups and push ups every night. I know it sounds pitiful but I can't face doing any other exercise at the moment. I have 3 dcs - dd is 13 months and a very bad sleeper. I work part time and I'm knackered most days.

Today was difficult. I won't deny it but I stuck to my plan - and I feel really good about it.

Do this with me. I could do with a buddy smile

SolidGold Wed 04-Dec-13 20:40:24

I've never enjoyed sport or exercise, but I do walk the dog once a day.

I hope Zoe Harcombe's book helps. It explains why our bodies react to food the way they do. It's not so much a diet as a way of eating.

FourArms Wed 04-Dec-13 22:32:53

A few of us have just started the Harcombe plan I'd anyone wants to join us?

link to thread

FloozeyLoozey Wed 04-Dec-13 22:36:19

I completely understand. In my adult life I've yoyoed between a size 10 and 20, and every size in between. Currently at a size 14/16 and struggling!

SolidGold Wed 04-Dec-13 23:32:46

FourArms, I'll join in if that's ok. I've slipped recently and need to get back on track.

FourArms Thu 05-Dec-13 08:35:35

smile

specialsubject Thu 05-Dec-13 11:19:00

I'd agree with the poster talking activity, sounds like you need more in your life. That way you'll be too tired to be making cakes.

stop hating your healthy body, stop buying and making solid sugar, and enjoy your veg, complex carbs and protein.

stop downloading diet books, forget diets. You know how much and roughly what you should be eating.

good luck.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now