I'm fed up of thinking about my weight every day; I want to lose weight but love delicious food too much!

(28 Posts)
mirai Wed 02-Oct-13 07:53:44

I just want to know, is it normal to constantly be beating yourself up over your food choices? I feel like everywhere I turn I have pressure to be celebrity slim and I'm totally fed up with it.

I am 1-2 stones overweight and I know exactly how I should lose weight. It's on my mind every day. BUT I feel like I love nice food too much to do something about it!

Low fat doesn't work for me as you're basically eating sugar/cardboard.

Low carb doesn't work for me as I feel deprived of all te delicious breads and cakes!

Why can't I just eat what I want and not be made to feel shit about it? Why do I care so much? Why do I feel judged by friends and society for having a large arse?

The whole thing is doing my head in!!

I'm exactly the same but I can't stop eating lovely fatty food.

How about exercise? I can't be bothered to do that either but running has worked in the past.

readysteady Wed 02-Oct-13 07:58:45

Hi I feel the same. I have 3 children, in my 30s and am about a stone and a half over weight. I am surrounded by friends constantly at the gym and running marathons etc. I feel inferior because I just go swimming twice a week and love nice meals and the odd glass of wine. It is rubbish isn't it! Xx

Pancakeflipper Wed 02-Oct-13 08:01:42

The fast diet? I found it really easy if I get my food sorted for fast day the night before. And loved the fact I wasn't thinking "diet,diet" every hour of everyday.

And exercise.

MerryMarigold Wed 02-Oct-13 08:04:32

I could have written your post a year ago. This is what I did, list she'd loads of weight and enjoyed food MORE:
Started with a detox, helped curb some of the unhealthy cravings (which were basically sugar highs and lows)
Move to a lower carb diet so carbs maybe once or twice a day instead of 6x
Eating main meal with carbs at lunchtime
Eating healthier but filling snacks eg. Houmous and carrot sticks
eating everything full fat possible. Can't stand low fat either.
Cut out bread

MerryMarigold Wed 02-Oct-13 08:05:25

Should say lost shed loads

mirai Wed 02-Oct-13 08:06:58

I just want to be able to make peace with it, you know, say to myself "eating lovely food means you will always be overweight and that's fine", and then just put it out of my head! But no, every single day I feel guilty, constantly reprimanding myself for every slice of cake or full cream sauce!

Exercise, ha! Also known as anther way to beat myself up. I have joined countless gyms, started new regimes on countless Mondays, bought the shred, Jillian michaels, new trainers, a pedometer, personal training. I've started c25k about six times. I tend to do these things for one day only then that's it! I told myself I would go swimming every week. I went once. I say I'll do it, fail at it, and then go back to beating myself up!

Again, why can't I accept I am not an exercise person and get over it? Instead of constantly making myself false and empty promises and then feeling shit every time I give it up, AGAIN?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 02-Oct-13 08:07:29

Try 5:2 - you eat bugger all a couple of days a week and the rest of the time you can eat whatever you like pretty much.

MerryMarigold Wed 02-Oct-13 08:08:56

Yes it is normal to beat yourself up about food choices if you are overweight. When I lost weight I was still not a size 8,10 let alone an airbrushed model size but I was much happier.

elly138 Wed 02-Oct-13 09:05:04

I love my food too and found the best way to lose weight successfully is to actually eat food you enjoy. Low fat food is one of the things I ditched, because I noticed the fat was replaced with sugar and sugar is addictive. Do you know how many calories you are allowed per day? Maybe that's the first place to start?

CaptainSweatPants Wed 02-Oct-13 09:10:46

Try to restrict yourself to 3 healthy meals a day & no snacking for one week
at the end of the week weigh yourself not before
if you've lost anything it'll give you the motivation to keep going
You will start getting comments on how you've lost weight & that'll motivate you
If you haven't lost anything at least you tried
Go on! 1 week ain't that long, & while you may be 1 stone overweight now in a a year you'll be 2 if you keep eating cream cakes in wild abandon

MerryMarigold Wed 02-Oct-13 09:56:41

I'm not sure of your age mortgagewoes, but I found that in my late 30's I couldn't eat what I wanted (which I pretty much could before) and maintain my weight (ie. it just kept creeping up). I have friends approaching 50 and they say it is even harder. May as well get into some good habits now.

I would agree with finding something you are happy to stick to. I was so pleased when I did this last year as I did still eat cream cakes (sometimes), I did still eat full fat everything, I did still have chocolate nearly every day (just a couple of squares of plain choc - strong enough to give me choc fix for the day), eat white rice (can't stand brown), chicken in white wine and cream, bacon omelettes and managed to lose weight so I didn't beat myself up over those things. The main thing was cutting a lot of sugar and wheat (not entirely) which was initially hard but actually paid off.

I think you want to feel good about being overweight, but it isn't going to happen. If you only feel overweight, but are not actually overweight that's a different matter.

I have gone off the boil though. It's so easy to slip into bad habits (sarnies for lunch, main meal in the evening with more carbs, cereal for breakfast, biscuits for snacks) and it actually doesn't make me feel happier, certainly not healthier and I think I actually enjoy my food less because the food is less good and I am not eating it when I am hungry (another big thing to enjoying it more).

MrsFlorrick Wed 02-Oct-13 10:21:41

I feel your pain. I ended up huge after having two DC. And I just ate ate and ate. Not all crap but just so much and cake and choc all the time. And biscuits. Bleeding biscuits. So small yet so many calories. I could easily eat a packet of shortbread (circa 1800 calories worth) as a small snack!

So I have tried lots of diets over the past two years. Here goes:

Jason Vale juice diet - a bit yikes but as a 1 week kick start it works well. And you feel really really awake with all those vitamins and nutrients pumping around you. You also feel quite hungry and a bit sick. I would recommend only as a kick start to healthier life style and perhaps 3 days rather than a week.

Weight watcher- rubbish. I don't recommend.

Dukan Diet- super effective but very very tough. I did it for 5 months and lost about 3 stone. I wasn't hungry but my mind craved fatty carb. Only if you feel able to be tough. You have to stick to this one to the letter. No off days. Or it won't work.

Low Carb (BIWI boot camp stylee)- I did this for 7 months and lost a measely 7lbs. I did loose more body fat and went down a dress size so it did work. And I could stick to it without too much issue. And it helped get me away from biscuits! (Thanks BIWI grin).

5:2- currently trying this one. I am 2 months in. I've lost circa 12lbs. And it's not hard at all. I eased myself into it by fasting 16 hours a day (ie overnight and no breakfast) and eating normally two meals a day. Then fasted once a week and then twice a week. Not hard at all. I use My Fitness Pal to keep track of calories (you can even scan in items with your phone soooo easy). It has helped me see where my calories are spent and what I need to avoid. And eat healthier. And non fast days I can build in a little treat. I still count calories on non fast days or I would over eat but I now find it a treat to eat 1800 calories.

mirai Wed 02-Oct-13 11:35:41

Thank you for your lovely long messages back, it's great to know I'm not the only one who's been here.

I think you want to feel good about being overweight, but it isn't going to happen. I think you've got it spot on there Marigold. I am definitely overweight - BMI above 25 and all that jazz. And a fucking massive arse. I know that much is genetics but even so. Not saying I want it to be BMI 20 but 22 would be good!

I have been thinking about a detox for quite some time actually, I feel you are right in that my blood sugar is AWOL. I did BIWI's camp for a while and did lose weight but despite what they say I do think you are cutting out a food group and we found it hard to sustain in the long term. Hence have gone back to 'normal' eating but have swung too far in the opposite direction now I think. So a detox could help, but where to start! I need to google. There is so much "bad science" around regarding detoxes, they say you get a headache in day three, well yes that may be because you are living on fresh air for the past 72 hours haha! hmm

I will look into this fasting one, the 5:2. There was a programme about it, wasn't there? I don't eat breakfast actually, never, so if I didn't eat from 8.30pm til 12.30pm then that's 16 hours right there isn't it? The only problem is I gorge for the other 8 hours!!! grin

Also I feel DH and I are in a habit of eating too late - we get in from work and FLOP on the sofa, no energy!! So sometimes dinner isn't eaten til quite late, I am always so tired. Having to stop eating from a certain time would really help on that front.

The thing is I just feel so much pressure to be slim, from friends, from society and even from myself!! I tell myself I am happy with eating ALL the foods but you must be right*Marigold*, if I WAS happy then I wouldn't be thinking about it every waking hour (literally).

TheArticFunky Wed 02-Oct-13 11:48:14

You can eat lovely food you just need to eat less of it.

I'm trying to lose weight at the moment. I fast 2 days a week, eat sensibly during the week and eat more or less what I want at the weekend. I haven't given anything up, I still drink wine at the weekend, have a bar of chocolate and use butter. I don't buy anything with low fat or diet written on it (apart from diet coke).

Even on my fast days I still have 3 meals a day albeit small meals.

waltergal1 Wed 02-Oct-13 14:46:52

I agree with @MerryMarigold you should start with a detox. It helped me jump start and getting my myself into a routine. I did the Ultimate Reset cleanse and I ended up losing 10lbs in the 21 days.
www.ultimatereset.com

MerryMarigold Wed 02-Oct-13 14:57:01

I did the Forever Living detox and thought it was great. You have to get used to the taste of Aloe juice though. No headaches but v. tired on day 2 (so do it on a weekend) or day 1 on Friday and day 2 Saturday.

Good luck!

I have never tried to cut carbs completely but I know I couldn't sustain it.

Talkinpeace Wed 02-Oct-13 20:40:42

Do not worry about being "slim" - as many people never will be.
Aim for healthy with lean bits.

Sad facts of life.
As you get older, you need less calories to stay the same weight.
There are lots and lots of hidden calories in processed foods
Very few slim women over 40 actually eat three times a day.

BUT
with methods like 5:2, you can really enjoy your meals, no restrictions, a couple of times a week.
And that should be plenty to get you back into eating mindfully - which is where the pleasure of good food comes

mirai Thu 03-Oct-13 02:14:34

Ok, I am reading up on 5-2. Have bought the book on kindle, it was only £2.80 something...!

specialsubject Thu 03-Oct-13 18:35:34

bread is fine but you can't eat cake by the ton and not get fat. It is really that simple.

fill up on complex carbs and veg - all delicious and you can eat as much veg as you want. Simple sugars (cake, biscuits, sweets) are treats, to be paid for with more movement.

there's no way round real life. :-)

Rules Sat 05-Oct-13 13:17:55

So Stop Dieting......people who diet or fast always end up gaining weight again when they have stopped. Eat whatever you want, when your really properly hungry and stop as soon as you feel satisfied. That's the way slim people who have no food issues eat.

DumSpiroSpero Sat 05-Oct-13 13:25:50

4 words - Hairy Dieters Cook Books grin .

solveproblem Sat 05-Oct-13 13:31:17

I've found it really difficult losing weight by have started cutting back on carbs, eating full fat everything (as previously mentioned low fat foo are full of shit) and intermittent fasting.

I eat for eight hours a day, so only skip breakfast. All the fat that I'm eating is making me feel full all the time so don't feel like snacking. I've lost a stone so far doing this.

A typical day would be a salad for lunch with cheese, olive oil, full fat mayo and protein.

Dinner is meat and veg, with lots of melted butter on the veg.

I swear I was a sugar addict before and cutting back on sugar/carbs has really helped me with this.

ElvisJesusAndCocaCola Sun 06-Oct-13 11:57:09

I try to look at food which is healthy that I really like, then see that as a treat.

One for me, for example, is a big, fresh piece of salmon eaten as sashimi, I bloody love it, only eat it when DH is out or cooking his own, it's easy to prepare and feel luxurious, and is really healthy and filling. Ditto skinny lattes, Greek yoghurt with homemade granola, berries of any sort etc. you get the picture. I just make sure that every day I eat something really want, and have trained myself to choose from the healthy but still delicious list. It is ongoing work, though, which I have been doing for about 15 years. And I have also trained myself to like things such as ryvita, which are actually nice after about ten years

BsshBossh Sun 06-Oct-13 13:57:37

Mortgage I hear you smile I love food too and it's how I slowly increased to a BMI of 36 - nothing to do with emotional eating issues etc, just a simple love of good food, eating out and living with a man who loves to cook well and is a foodie. Oh what a pain to have to think about weight and over-eating! ....

Except that in recent years I've seen the evidence that over-eating and not exercising and being overweight has had on my immediate relatives: the lives cut short in their 60s, family and friends leading physically compromised lives because of obesity...

I'm 43 and don't want to be like that in a decade or so; I have a 5yo DD and need to be healthy and fit to enjoy my life with her!

So last year I realised I had to work on getting my BMI down. 5:2 fasting and exercise was my solution (because that way I only need to "diet" twice a week and can still eat whatever I want and enjoy - though interestingly I make much healthier choices these days) and now my BMI is 23 smile Still want to get to BMI 21... and I will.

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