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Any recovered binge-eaters on here? I need help.

35 replies

BitOfAFatCowReally · 02/07/2013 12:15

I'm finally admitting to myself that I have a real problem with food. Although my actual meals are perfectly normal and healthy, I also eat in secret most of the day. No-one knows this. Sometimes I make myself sick. Not often, but occasionally.

When I've had a particularly bad few days, I cut down on food completely. The prevalence of the fast diet has been a godsend to me as I pretend to people that I'm on it to explain why I'm not eating.

I really, really don't want to go to the doctor. I know that's possibly very stupid, but I just don't. I do need help though, especially as I have a dd and I want to set a good example to her. Mostly though, I just don't want to do this any more. I want to be normal.

So, I just wondered if anyone has any advice? Any books I could read, organisations I could contact?

Thank you.

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BitOfAFatCowReally · 02/07/2013 12:50

Bumping, because I'm a bit needy like that.

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stowsettler · 02/07/2013 13:11

I'm no GP or psychologist but it sounds more like a mental health issue than an overeating one at the crux of the matter. Could you try Overeaters Anonymous?
If your GP is worth his salt they will hone in on the fact that your problem is probably psychological, so TBH they really should be your first port of call.
Good luck - I have my own issues with food, and I know how tough it is to beat them x

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TippiShagpile · 02/07/2013 13:16

If you're not sure about your GP would you consider self help books? There are loads out there - I did have a list somewhere

Interesting point about the fasting diets. These are a nightmare for me because they trigger my old habits (ie basically starving myself) and make it so easy to hide when I'm having a "tricky episode".

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aliperi · 02/07/2013 13:44

I just read the Hardcombe Diet book and think it would help you. It helps you understand food cravings and why we put on weight. It has helped me realize that is the way I eat that's causing the problem, not my lack of self-discipline or lack of will power as I always thought. I think this book educates you and takes the blame away from you, so you don't punish yourself for over-eating and then starve, entering that awful vicious circle.
Also it is a really healthy way of eating and very effective weight loss plan that works and is sustainable.
Best of luck!

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TantrumsandBananas · 02/07/2013 13:55

Watching with interest, I could haven written your post OP. You are not alone.

The only thing I got from the Doctors was a prescription for Orlistat. Which I haven't and won't try.

I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired - have checked out OA but am abit scared. Which accordingly probably means I'm "not ready".

Therefore will be interested to see what others come back to you with.

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TheLightPassenger · 02/07/2013 15:52

, I mostly got on top of binge eating by having a v strict meal and snack schedule, so that at trigger points i had something sensible in mind to eat already. It can help to meal plan as well or eat samey food as it reduces headspace you are giving. I havent fully looked into this, but there is a mindfulness book geared towards healthy eating

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NutellaNutter · 02/07/2013 16:23

I have had a terrible time over the last three years. I put on several stone while pregnant with ds, and have been through hell trying to get it off. Had bulimia for most of the three years. Also tried hypnosis, diet coach and even a gastric balloon - which I discovered I could still binge and vomit with :(

The thing that has really helped me sort my head out and get back to normal eating is the book Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. She also has a very insightful and helpful blog. She is in the US and you might need to buy the book from the Amazon US site, but it is really, really worth it. She knows exactly what is going through a binge eater's mind, and she has quite literally saved my life. Also helpful is Taming the Feast Beast. Good luck. If I can do it anyone can!

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BitOfAFatCowReally · 02/07/2013 17:08

Thank you so much, everyone. I will definitely get hold of the recommended books.

Tippi, yes, the Fast Diet, although not a trigger for me, has definitely appealed to my binge or starve mentality. For a while, I even tried to convince myself that I was on it, but what I'm doing is far from healthy.

I appreciate all your replies. I really do. I hope this doesn't sound rude, but it's kind of comforting that I'm not the only one. I'm 35 now and this is not something that I could discuss with my friends. Even dh doesn't know. It's my shameful secret.

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BitOfAFatCowReally · 02/07/2013 19:51

I've just ordered the Hansen and Hardcombe books. I've also downloaded a free book by Kat Lorenzo. It's a start. I actually feel quite disgusted with myself, but I know that won't help with getting better.

Thanks again.

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SconeInSixtySeconds · 02/07/2013 20:00

I have been there too, I am not sure if it ever goes completely though. :(

Binging due to self loathing and homesickness saw me put on 4 stone in two years. I am getting there right now using a very low calorie diet that excludes 'real' food completely. I have found that to help.

Those books sound really interesting, I am going to order them too.

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CinnamonAddict · 02/07/2013 20:05

I think reading a book won't help you.
Please talk to your GP and get a therapy sorted. Your eating habits are just symptoms of underlying issues, some of them could be very well buried. You need professional help, please don't suffer in silence and secrecy.

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BitOfAFatCowReally · 02/07/2013 20:14

Hi CinnammonAddict, I appreciate your response, I really do. However, I don't think I do have any underlying issues. It's just that I have had this terrible relationship with food since my teens and I've never tried to overcome it before now.

I do see that it's developed into an illness now, but I'd at least like to try and help myself before getting medical involvement. If I thought therapy would help, I would go, I promise. But for me, this is all about the food.

I hope I don't appear ungrateful.

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SconeInSixtySeconds · 02/07/2013 20:18

Do you find certain foods triggering or is it your mood that creates the need to binge?

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SconeInSixtySeconds · 02/07/2013 20:22

Btw, I was extremely bulimic 15 years ago. I had some counselling and what I now realise was CBT or NLP. It must have worked, I cannot make myself sick anymore (and at my worst I have tried and tried and tried).

Sadly I moved before we got to the binging, I often think that I should try again and see if I can overcome it completely.

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BitOfAFatCowReally · 02/07/2013 20:28

It's foods that trigger me, really. Biscuits, especially, and bread. My binges and 'fast' days don't seem to be related to my moods at all. I kept a diary for a month to check this and couldn't see any real correlation except for just before my period. Then, I was miserable and ravenous!

Oh, that's interesting about CBT, because actually that probably would be helpful to me. It offers more practical solutions if I understand it properly?

Good luck to you Scone, in recovering. Good luck to all of us, actually.

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SconeInSixtySeconds · 02/07/2013 20:40

The sad thing is I hardly remember it. I was in such a bad place, I remember going to the sessions but not what we talked about specifically.

I know that I have triggers. Marzipan for instance. I love it but eating three whole blocks in twenty minutes is not normal, so I don't buy it anymore or anything almond flavoured.

It might be the sugar for you if biscuits set you off. Have you had a look at the low carb threads on here? I did low carb for four years and it really did destroy my sweet tooth, sugar is an addictive bastard.

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CinnamonAddict · 02/07/2013 20:42

You don't sound ungrateful
You have had a terrible relationship with food since you were a teen. You are 35 now.
You don't have to believe that therapy helps you, just give it a try

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Ipp3 · 02/07/2013 20:43

I was a binge eater for many years, made myself puke regularly and was generally a mess. I read the books but the only thing that really helped me was slowly changing my behaviour around food and keeping going no matter how many times I fell off the wagon. Like thelightpassenger, I decided what I was going to eat each day, set meals and kept to it, or tried to ! I didn't diet or exclude foods, but did eat off smaller plates to avoid overeating. I tried to eat well and to eat filling things like protein. I reminded myself that nothing bad would happen if I didn't eat that cake/ choc. Slowly, slowly it got easier to resist. I think the thought that got me through was realising that I could spend the rest of my life like this or get better. I got better.

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Willdoitinaminute · 02/07/2013 20:53

Bitofa you have made the first step by admitting you have an eating problem/disorder.
I had intermittent bulimia/binging in my teens and 20s. I had self esteem issues as my confidence grew in adult life I learned to cope with them. I still have issues with my weight but have a much healthier approach now to controlling it.
I would agree that therapy is not the solution for everyone but talking to other sufferers can help.
As I said you have made the first step perhaps the next one is to see your GP and ask for advice.

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BitOfAFatCowReally · 02/07/2013 20:56

Thanks again, to all of you. Thank you for the advice and for sharing your stories. It's interesting as I have never spoken about this in real life and now I'm wondering how prevalent this is.

I am determined to beat it. I like the idea of having an eating schedule; it appeals to the control-freak side of me . Perhaps I'll reconsider therapy.

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BitOfAFatCowReally · 03/07/2013 09:18

One day at a time...

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ADifferentKindOfMum · 03/07/2013 21:55

Hi bit...just wanted to say hallo as i am two days in to scheduled planned eating myself. Not a purger but a binger still and I can't keep gaining weight without people asking "how?" as i eat sooo healthily on the face of it. They don't see the stuffing standing at fridge and cupboards. I feel unhappy in my own skin so am doing something about it. For me, if i even have the slightest bit of sugar that is it. I will locate and eat everything sweet in the house.
Hope today was ok for you.

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BitOfAFatCowReally · 05/07/2013 10:43

Hello Different, how are you finding it? I've started to do scheduled eating too. So far, so good. Although, I've found I'm still thinking about food all the time. Trying to keep busy though, which helps. And I'm trying to be mindful of what I do actually eat, so I am eating my food slowly, sitting at the table, even if it's just a snack.

Good for you for taking steps towards getting better. Let me know how you get on.

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BitOfAFatCowReally · 28/07/2013 19:22

OK, I'm a liar. I have been thinking about things and yes, I have massive psychological problems. I was lying to myself and you and I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. This isn't a weight issue, it's a mind issue. I'm so ashamed at my age.

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StillGettingItWrong · 29/07/2013 06:10

Hello Bit

Just wanted to say that I went through a very stressful time recently (about 2-3 months ago) and my way of dealing with this was to inhale eat everything in sight. I live alone with my children so there was not even the need to do it in secret. In 5 weeks I piled on 21lbs and I was disgusted with myself but still couldn't stop. I finally went to the doctor regarding the stress issue and he prescribed me sertraline as he felt I was also a little depressed which looking back I realise I was. Whilst Googling my new meds I was surprised to learn that mine and a lot of other AD's are used to treat binge eating. I certainly found after a couple of weeks that my appetite was nowhere near what it was and that "need" to binge just evaporated. It is now about 6 weeks since I started taking them and I have lost about 14 of the 21lbs I put on although I have also recently discovered a new love for exercise (thank you Jillian Michaels! ).

It is certainly something worth considering, especially ifyou feel that you have other issues.

Good luck with it.