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So I want/ need to lose 84lbs EEEEEK! Where the hell do I start?

36 replies

mummyisafatty · 16/11/2012 22:50

Hi, I am sure my story is same as many out there. I am 28 years old. I have 2 sons. My eldest is 5yrs my youngest is just about to turn 1.

It's been a tricky year, DH got made redundant (sorted in new job now thankfully) but it added stress to our family for months, DS2 was/ is a difficult baby, I got diagnosed with postnantal depression in April. I probably should have got diagnosed after DS1 too but never dared go to the doctor. Anyway, gradually through the last few years of depression, baby weight, bordom etc, my weight has rocketed. I am now 16 stone 4 which is just faaaar too big. I don't feel good. I certainly don't look good. I am 5ft 8 and should apparently weigh between 9st12 and 11stone3... I am aiming for a middle ground of 10 stone 5.

Bottom line is can it be done??? How?? Any tips or any one want to join me. I seriously can not carry on like this. Every day it's the same thing. Wake up and think I'll eat healthily- before I know it I've gobbled 2 crumpets, a bag of crisps, an enormous galaxy bar and something with chips! It's disgusting and I need to stop. Help x

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rhondajean · 16/11/2012 23:46

Of course you can do it.

I work with a woman who has lot six and a half stone in a year, she has two and a half to go but she will do it.

Ultimately you need to take responsibility for what you eat. You say you gobble before you know it, you must stop that. You must think when you eat.

The way that works for me is to write out meal plans for the week, I know what I am going to eat and when I am going to get it. You can lose weight by diet alone but if you want to get healthier exercise is essential and you nee FTP be pushing yourself, sweating and out of breath.

But unless mentally you are ready and willing to take control of the whole thing, it won't work.

Good luck to you - every small change you make does help, so dont let it be overwhelming, every pound down is a gain.

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amazingmumof6 · 17/11/2012 00:16

My only advice is Weight Watchers. 101 excuses not to do it (I know, I used them all! Grin), but you will loose wight if you do it properly

I'm going back after baby's 1st birthday - that is always a good time for me, as I find first 12 months just so busy and the routine so changeable, it's impossible for me to get in the zone!

if you can't feel you can commit just yet here's some advice

  • protein foods take longer to digest, so you'll feel less hungry. choose lean varieties

  • blended/smooth soups are the same, try to batch cook using healthy recipes

  • don't skip meals, it's false economy, you are much more likely to over eat and/or make bad food choices if too hungry!


  • excercise, it burn calories as you are doing it, plus you will keep burning extra calories for hours after it! (I find walking is just the best for me, simple, free, easy)


- increase water intake - aids digestion, helps liver function, improves general health

- calcium found in dairy products binds fat, which is then eliminated through digestion process - literally loosing fat!

- keep a food diary and be honest about what you are consuming and why! it will help you figure out your eating patterns and also reasons for eating - which could range from sad to happy to bored to lonely to stressed etc, or just cravings, but you'll find you are hardly ever actually hungry, you could be thirsty or just comfort eating! you must find replacements for the comfort eating!
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tigerdriverII · 17/11/2012 00:23

I am doing Slimming World. It is going to take me about a year to get where I want to be (about 5 stones off) but I am going to do it. I like SW as it's about home cooking or easy ready meals but the food is easy to do and not at all pricey which some diets are. See if you can find a group near you, it's a good way to lose weight

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mummyisafatty · 17/11/2012 07:51

Thank you all of you. This has made me realise it an and must be done! Even if slowly, like rhondajean says eery pound offis a gain and
i must remember this!

Very true about looking at the reasons why I eat. It's very very rarely due to hunger. Usually at meal times it's bacause I'm cooking for everyone and my portion sizes are huge even when I'm not particularly hungry. Other times, especially in he evenings I eat junk when the boys are in bed almost as a reward for getting through the day! I need to address the bordem snacking throughout the day too.

Amazingmumof6- am I right in thinking you have 6 childen?? Wow, I am in awe. I'd love a bigger family but the baby stage is always tricky for me and the post natal depression is crippling :-(. Thank you for your advice though.

Thanks all. I will report back with my progress x

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CharlieUniformNovemberTango · 17/11/2012 08:14

I'm a huge stress eater so I sympathise. As of Monday, when my home life will get a lot more settled, I am going back to the good habits I'd used last year to loose some weight.

Mainly they were:

  • wear a pedometer. At the start I aimed for 6000 steps a day increasing the goal to 10,000. I got a good one from Argos 'omoron one' I think it's called. It also counts the aerobic steps which is when you enter the fat burning stage. I tried to make sure roughly a third of my daily steps are aerobic. And if you're close to target come the evening - it's easy just to stand stepping on the spot in front of the TV. Such an easy way to increase exercise. And you'd be surprised how you can feel 'busy' during the day but actually not get many steps in. It doesn't take long for you to know that a walk round the block will boost your step count and started doing it out of habit. I also wrote down the numbers in my diary and sometimes set a goal say - 100,000 steps this week.


  • have a water jug. I keep mine out on the side to remind me to drink. I have a water bottle to take out with me too. It makes such a difference. (plus it ups your step count going upstairs to the toilet more!)


  • Use www.myfitnesspal.com to record everything you eat and do. Also has very easy to use apps for smartphones. Really good to set yourself small weightloss goals with too.


-Spend some time after you've been shopping portioning up healthy snacks you can grab if you're rushing around or take with you.

  • I make one meal every day carb free. Usually it's lunch so I have soup or a couple of hardboiled eggs, slice or two of ham and some fruit (I know fruit is carby too but I avoid traditional bread and pasta type carbs) And because it's high protein I don't tend to feel hungry through lack of carbs.




It's so hard to get started sometimes but honestly, a few little changes set me on the right path and once I started to see some progress I got much more motivated. Often looking at the whole number and the sheer amount of changes you need to make just scared the crap out of me and made me too frightened to even try.
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Caerlaverock · 17/11/2012 08:22

If money is tight then my fitness pal is free and IMO better than weight watchers. Good luck and yes of course you can do it

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rhondajean · 17/11/2012 10:09

Can I suggest buying smaller dinner plates? Sounds daft but really works for portion control.

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Mrsrobertduvallsaysboo · 17/11/2012 10:12

Don't have crap in the house.
If it's not in the house, you can't eat it.

Keep a food diary and be honest. It's amzing how those" snacks" add up.

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rubyrubyruby · 17/11/2012 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amazingmumof6 · 17/11/2012 12:37

mummyisafatty yes honey, it's 5 boys then baby girl! I'm about 4 1/2 stones above my "wedding day" weight, but I'd be happy with around 3 stones off to feel healthy again.

one advice I was given once is to bin kids food as soon as they finished so you won't be tempted to eat cold chips and half chewed sausages...

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specialsubject · 17/11/2012 12:51

first, realistic weight target and timescale - I am an inch shorter than you and look fine at 11.5 stone. You are looking at about 18 months to get there.
second, as this is obviously a result of guzzling unsuitable food (you said it yourself!) the basics are easy to fix. Stop buying crap, it doesn't get in the house by itself. Won't do the rest of the residents any harm either. Chocolate, chips and crumpets are occasional treats, not every day food. If the kids leave leftovers, give them less for less waste.
third, you need 40% good carbs in your diet (low-carb is nonsense, Atkins dieters end up fatter), lots of veg, some dairy, some fruit, some protein, a little fat. This doesn't mean expensive or time consuming cooking and eating, just a simple repertoire of good recipes. Stir frys, chilli, slow-cooked casseroles, veg dishes, whatever. Don't shop when hungry, and take a list and stick to it. Online shopping removes temptation.
fourth, MOVE for an hour a day. That means anything body powered. Walk, run, swim, cycle, push a pram, whatever, just move. Any journey of 2 miles or less should be done on foot
fifth, ignore diet myths. Green tea, negative calorie foods, things that bind to fat, magic pills (even sold by respectable stores) etc etc. If these worked no-one would be fat.

you can do WW or SW if you want, but it all boils down to the above which needs to be continued for life.

good luck!

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Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 17/11/2012 13:02

Hello lovely
I'm 5'2 and about 16 stone - I also need to lose a lot. Thanks for posting this, I'm grateful for all the advice above.
Good luck!

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amazingmumof6 · 17/11/2012 13:15

I must add that yes carbs, fibre and small amounts of fat are also important! I meant lean protein should be included with above! (as opposed to none or fatty versions) also oily fish is good

so for example I love oatsosimple for breakfast with nutmeg and a splash of maple syrup and it's full of fibre so it does fill me up (plus nice and creamy, I call it breakfast soup!)

but I also like a lean grilled bacon and tomato sandwich or scrambled eggs with mushrooms for lunch and that stops me from afternoon snacking...

I just wanted to clarify (Atkins is not a balanced diet, quck results, but not sustainable! read about it but never tried it, never want to)

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McPie · 17/11/2012 13:22

In july I was 15 stone 7 lb and could not for the life of me lose weight and was refered to a nurse in my practice who was trained in the Counter Weight plan.
I was given 2000 cals a day split into 6 food groups and a snack amount, I could eat 9 slices of bread each day if I wanted to and was sure I would fail as I was eating, in my mind going by faddy diets, way too much.
Next weigh in 2 weeks later I had lost 3 1/2 lb which amazed me as I had never eaten so much in my life.
I now weigh 13 stone 10 and have started going to the classes at my local leisure centre on week days which has helped my confidence and body shape.
I still have about 3 stone to go before I hit a healthy BMI but am not far from getting into the overweight range when I started out at 37.
PM me if you would like me to give you the basics of the plan or ask at your surgery if they do the plan (its nurse led normally) as it comes with some really useful booklets on eating behaviour and making changes.

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Doshusallie · 17/11/2012 13:24

My advice is low carb. You eat lovely fulfilling tasty food, and never go hungry. You lose weight and it stays off, as well as numerous other health benefits such as better sleep, less pmt, etc.

If you would like some advice on how to get started come in over to the low carb boot camp threads. It works, I promise you, and you break all your addictions to sweet things and sugar in the process.

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Doshusallie · 17/11/2012 13:25

And Atkins is very much sustainable. I have been doing it for over a year.

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BellaTheGymnast · 17/11/2012 13:29

Can I add my two pennorth please? I'm about 14.5 stone and 5'4". I am NEVER hungry as I graze all the time. For me not having it in the house isn't enough, I'll go round to the shop for biscuits and chocolate.

I actually feel that I have no control at all around food and am bewildered as to how I will manage to lose weight.

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3mum · 17/11/2012 14:24

Hello can I join please? I'm 5 feet 5 inches and weigh 12 stone 9 (gulp) That i a BMI of 29.5 ie borderline clinically obese. I'd like to get down to 9 and a half stones which would give me a BMI of 19.1 so quite a bit to go.

I have also just been tested and found out that I am gluten intolerant which probably explains my lifelong IBS. According to the nurse that probably also explains why I absolutely love bread. cakes, doughnuts etc. Apparently you tend to crave gluten even though you are sensitive to it. Definitely low carbing for me then. Started this morning. Plus side is as I am slightly anaemic too I can have a steak and spinach for lunch and feel virtuous!

I've had a really crap year for various reasons and the weight has just piled on through comfort eating, boredom eating, middle of the night angst eating, despair eating. You name it, just too much eating!

Here is a fantastic quote from a lady called Geneen Roth who has written a couple of books on why women eat "It's about taking more than enough of something you know you can get - food - because you believe it's impossible to get enough of what you really want: love, joy, value, happiness, contentment, friendship". That really struck a chord with me.

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amazingmumof6 · 17/11/2012 19:22

3mum thanks for that quote, but I'd extend it to "and enough sleep and peace& quiet!" and I'm not even joking

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mummyisafatty · 17/11/2012 20:28

Interesting and very true quote 3mum. I think that pretty much sums it up for me! Yes amazingmumof6 you must feel the not enough sleep and peace & quiet more than most! I am amazed how you even have time to type with 6 children. What a beautiful and lovely family you must have though. All those different personalities and they'll always have someone to turn to as they get older. Awww... don't be getting me broody! Grin

Bellathegymnast your post struck a chord with me. It's not enough not to buy the crap food. I will go out and hunt it down! A trip to the garden centre can end in me going to the cafe for cake. A morning shool run ends with me going to the corner shop for biscuits. I often send DH on a junk food run when the boys are in bed for Doritos and chocolate. I just am totally addicted and obsessed with food. Perhaps I need hypnotherapy or something but seriously I devide my days up into meal times, snacks to look forward to etc etc. Even a day out at the seaside with the boys leads me to fantasizing all the way there about eating chips and gravy on the beach... I NEED HELP!

I have however this last 2 days not snacked, not eaten junk and let me tell you I feel frigging starving. I am sure it's psychological but I could eat a horse and that's surely not normal to feel hungry all the time just because I am not constantly eating. Maybe my body has just got used to being fed constantly with sugar and fat??

Anyway, I am resisting the cravings for now. Thank you to everyone for the good advice and those with tips I am very grateful. Welcome to everyone who has joined in. We will do this!

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amazingmumof6 · 17/11/2012 23:09

mummyisafatty thank you, they are all lovely, and right now asleep, so even lovelier! Smile

I have time coz bloody washing machine's been broken since last Wednesday so I got bored and discovered MN!
We are waiting for a special part to arrive - apparently it's impossible to break a Miele - so I'm waiting for Guinness officials to turn up! Grin
friends & MIL are dealing with mountains of dirty clothes, so I'm here, carefree, typing away ever since...

coincidentally, I've become a bit addicted and forgot to eat some dinners/snacks and I kid you not I lost 4 lbs in 10 days!!!

I should write a new diet book

  • step 1 - break your washing machine and get others to do washing for you


  • step 2 - get on MN and forget to eat (bf while at it is optional)


  • step 3 - discover you have lost weight and rejoice Grin
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SCOTCHandWRY · 17/11/2012 23:52

Low carb/high protein/fat diets do work, and are sustainable.

The so called "balanced" diet currently recommended -very high carb, very high grain, high dairy, med/low protein and very low fat - is a post war invention and bares no relation to what humans actually evolved to eat. If you were trying to make the population as sick, as diabetic and as fat as possible, this is the perfect diet to do that! And look how well it's working!

lchf (grain free/paleo/ancestral) lifestyles work because it regulates blood sugar, restores metabolic function, can reverse many illness.

PP's mentioning craving and needing to hunt down snack (all carbs) - suggests it's time to ditch them, seriously, I know, I have been there. It is literally addictive. It is real hunger, your blood sugar spikes then crashes after eating carby food, and it makes you hungry - it's not all in your head.

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tigerdriverII · 19/11/2012 00:09

Just thought. If you go to your GP they may be able to offer you some free group sessions. I have had 12 weeks slimming world for free, still got about four to go, nearly a stone down and on the right track. The shocking thing is this was free, but the nurse told me that no one was taking it up. I could afford to do it without the free sessions but have taken them anyway as no one else was. I think they do weightwatchers as well, maybe others.

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BellaTheGymnast · 19/11/2012 07:31

A friend of mine got free gym sessions via the GP. I'd forgotten about that, will see whether that scheme is still going.

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halfnhalf · 19/11/2012 07:32

I'd really recommend myfitnesspal. As said above, it's free and recording everything makes you eat less mindlessly. I've spent years and years eating too much (I'd drive to the shops to buy biscuits and eat all of them by the time I got home) and never thought I could stick recording everything I ate, but it becomes quite addictive and I've lost almost a stone in a month (I'm 5'7" and started at 15 stone 2 pounds.

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