Is it cheap and nasty to consider having wedding this way?

(60 Posts)
Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 12:37:38

Basically we do not have a lot of money to spend on our wedding. We want to get married next July, however we have nothing planned. Just can't afford it to be honest. We wanted a simple do in a barn/ pub with all our nearest and dearest only. Will be quite a few kids coming.
We have searched and searched, every where is too much for us.
We are now toying with the idea of getting married in Brighton- Bandstand or registry & strolling down to a'50's style American diner for burger, milkshakes and beers with chocolate wedding cake ( home made) for afters.
They have music , sound system or duke box (?) and it's decorated so no cost there. Will put the bridesmaid's in colorful knee lenth dresses. Will have it on a Sunday so dont need after do.
We obviously will need to try the food before hand. I like 'naice food'
We plan to get there Friday and leave Monday. Perhaps combining a joint hen/ stag if can afford it on the Friday night. By this I mean a comedy night with however wants to come along. Think about £10 per ticket.
That's it really. We seriously only have about £2000 to spend on this and we want people we love there only. Is this sounding ok? Or very tacky?

Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 12:38:30

however=whoever

PoppadomPreach Thu 10-Oct-13 12:40:01

Not tacky, and nicely different - if I got an invite to a wedding like this I'd be quite pleased! Good luck!

Absy Thu 10-Oct-13 12:40:20

I think it sounds fabulous and quite fun!

Rufus44 Thu 10-Oct-13 12:41:57

Sounds great to me. If its the diner I'm thinking of it seems busy so must be pretty good food

Have a fab time and congratulations

MissBattleaxe Thu 10-Oct-13 12:42:13

Sounds wonderful! I would love a wedding like that! Overpriced country hotel thing has been done to death.

Rooble Thu 10-Oct-13 12:42:22

It's unlike any wedding I've been to before and I think it's rather cool.

I'm inclined to think that if you and your guests have fun, then it's been a good wedding, and this sounds fun!

As long as they all know the venue and therefore the likely food I can't see there being any issue whatsoever.

sebsmummy1 Thu 10-Oct-13 12:42:28

I think it sounds great too!

Katz Thu 10-Oct-13 12:43:00

how many of your guests live in Brighton? will everyone have to stay in hotels?

Could you hire a hall (church local council masionic) near where you do live?

We've had a couple of friends who done the reg office bit as a formality no guests and then hired a nice hall and done their own ceremony, with a friend presiding. Much cheaper way of doing it as the hall doesn't need to be licensed to marry you as you officially married.

I think it sounds fabulous grin

Go for it if it expresses what you want. I say this as someone who had the wedding that convention and tradition dictated and I've spent nearly 25 years regretting it. (The wedding, not being married smile)

Don't look back in years to come and say "I wish we'd done..." Just do it!

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Thu 10-Oct-13 12:46:20

I think it sounds great smile A lot of fun and I'd look forward to it.

The important part here is that you want the marriage not the fancy wedding!

nobutreally Thu 10-Oct-13 12:47:04

I think it sounds fab ... but do you/your guests live in/near Brighton? Hotel for a weekend in Brighton (in July) could be expensive, so not a cheap wedding for them...

nosleeptilever Thu 10-Oct-13 12:48:21

sounds lovely. We had a morning wedding and then invited about 50 people for a nice lunch. One bridesmaid, no flowergirls. If I hadn't fallen in love with the most expensive dress in the world we would have been around 4000. If you have less people then you can definitely have a great and special day on your budget. I still think my wedding day was the best day I've ever had, and we were home by 6!

caramelwaffle Thu 10-Oct-13 12:51:07

I'd love to attend a wedding like that.

You'd have to confirm with the diner that you'd have exclusive use for a few hours I should imagine.

ClaudetteWyms Thu 10-Oct-13 12:51:38

It sounds great, do it. We got married abroad, just us, then had a simple party when we got home for closest family and friends - under 40 people. Was lovely, and non-stressy.

Go for it, you won't regret doing it your way.

ouryve Thu 10-Oct-13 12:54:17

Sounds fantastic to me.

pippop1 Thu 10-Oct-13 12:55:22

Sounds fab. Brighton and parking doesn't mix well though unless you are v rich.. Could you spend a little on hiring a coach which leaves from a nearby car park so that guests can leave their cars - preferably for free? Maybe an out of town hotel that has a big car park would let you do this if some guests were staying there?

MrsLettuce Thu 10-Oct-13 12:57:01

It sounds like an excellent idea!

pindorasbox Thu 10-Oct-13 12:58:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

We got married at Brighton Register Office, and then went for a full English breakfast (beans, black pudding, the works!) at a café nearby. We only had 5 guests, because we got married on special license and the authorisation only came through the previous day, so it was very last minute!. Flowers from the stand at Brighton Station! Given a bit more time I would have got a cake from Cloud 9 (in the Lanes) - they do wonderful 'big cupcake' style cakes for a pretty reasonable price. Had one from there for my Dad's 85th birthday last year.

Hope you have a wonderful day whatever you decide to do - my wedding was wonderful, and very, very cheap!

nilbyname Thu 10-Oct-13 12:58:59

Oh I love that idea! Go for it!

Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 12:59:37

No.. Guests live about 40mins away from Brighton-most of them. It IS nearer to them than to us though. We live in deepest south Kent. We were looking for a venue near to them ( we used to live their way, have recently moved) and both here( Kent ) And there (Surrey) is so expensive. We are about an hour away from most guests.
We did also look at hiring a bus. Its on the motor way, 30/ 40 mins driving than off motorway.
We have searched their area as it was important to us they can get home afterwards easily.
However I think village halls have caught on as every website we looked at had a 'special wedding package' hire charge. sad Every penny counts with our budget. Then to get caterers in. Too much.
It was becoming rather stressful with costs, venues etc. We want it to be fun smile

BucketsnSpades Thu 10-Oct-13 13:00:28

This sounds lovely, dh and I went to Brighton for our honeymoon, we ate in the american diner near the beach, we only had dessert and hot choc but it was delicious and we would love to go back for a full meal. Go for it but beware people with kids may want you to hold the wedding in school holidays and then the accommodation will get really pricey. Also be clear to people what they will be expected to pay for because it sounds like an expensive wedding to attend with the stag night, whatever they do on Saturday then if they want to have a drink after the wedding accommodation for Sunday too. If I were your guest I'd have to work this into our annual budget as a mini break.

Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 13:01:28

Furrydog Will check out Cloud 9 . Cheers

TeWiSavesTheDay Thu 10-Oct-13 13:02:59

I think it sounds great. Your guests will get to see you married, have something to eat, drink and celebrate with you. That's all I want from a wedding!

Because it's a bit unusual I'd do an itinary with the invite explaining what will happen on the day.

Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 13:05:13

Perhaps we should leave the hen night/ stag do then? We were only going to have one if it didnt eat into money that could be spent on wedding. We have a lot of couple friends and opposite sex friends each, so thought about just having an anyone come along type thing.
We have been together nearly 7 years and have 3dc so aren't fussed about our last single night.

Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 13:07:03

'single night' *

Floggingmolly Thu 10-Oct-13 13:12:23

It sounds fab smile

PrincessKitKat Thu 10-Oct-13 13:13:47

I think it sounds great! Really fun and creative & different! Can I come?! smile

If guests can't afford/ don't want to pay for a room then 40 minutes is close enough to drive/ train/ minibus home.
We set up our freebie wedding site with a car-share section - that might be useful if they all live reasonably close to each other? I think it was called 'gettingmarried.com'?

Have a wonderful day thanks

sillyoldfool Thu 10-Oct-13 13:13:58

Sounds fab, and if people didn't want to come for the whole weekend they could easily just come for the day, brighton has great travel connections. Way easier than a barn in the middle of nowhere!

harverina Thu 10-Oct-13 13:15:06

Sounds fab grin

Although if you fancied a registry office then dancing afterwards, have you looked at a local community hall or similar for the venue. You could make your own cold buffet and organise your own bar. Cheap and great fun grin

Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 13:17:40

BucketsnSpades I think it might be the same diner you went to.
Furrydog Just looked at Cloud 9 website- They are very good prices! Thank you for that. They look fab

Wonderstuff Thu 10-Oct-13 13:27:09

Sounds lovely. The best wedding I've been to recently was a church hall, they catered themselves by buying a big wicker hamper (sold later on eBay) for each table and filling it with picnic stuff from Waitrose, they had lots of children and put together some fair type games, coconut shy and the like. They had ice cream between the ceremony and the meal then a band, who were friends did music. It was lovey, and so much more personal than a hotel do. I personally think with weddings less is often more.

Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 13:50:49

I'm pleased now smile So is the general idea that the wedding is ok, just not the comedy night?

MrsLettuce Thu 10-Oct-13 13:55:28

The whole package sounds grand smile

Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 14:33:28

TheWoollysbacksWife [Sad]for you about your wedding.
Congratulations on 25 years nearly! Maybe you could renew your vows for your anniversary? Have what you want this time though...

Orangeworkclock Thu 10-Oct-13 19:34:32

So has anyone had anything like this?

bootsycollins Thu 10-Oct-13 19:38:26

That sounds ace, I'd love to go to a wedding like that, it sounds fun.

BikeRunSki Thu 10-Oct-13 19:44:42

Sounds original and memorable and a lot more fun than the many identikit country hotel/ long ivory dress/ chicken Kiev weddings I have been to.

stubbornstains Thu 10-Oct-13 19:48:34

It does sound lovely....Just a thought re: village halls- possibly it's the ones without websites you want to be looking for? In other words, the slightly less sussed ones- the ones with contact details tacked on a dog eared postcard on the noticeboard? My brother and SIL had their reception in the village hall in a v.v. posh village near Windsor (think Heston Blumenthal) and I don't think it was expensive at all.

Or...are your guests the types that like camping? Some campsites/ glampsites (????) will do weddings.

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 10-Oct-13 19:52:46

I think your wedding plans sound lovely and certainly not cheap and nasty

Jenijena Thu 10-Oct-13 20:00:04

As a guest I'd much rather to go to a fun wedding where the hosts haven't got broke than a wedding just like everyone else's tens of thousands worth of country hotel.

Jenijena Thu 10-Oct-13 20:00:41

((Sounds fab, in case you hadn't understood! Congratulations!))

Thank you Orange I have got plans for an all singing all dancing silver wedding celebration grin

I am very lucky, I have a wonderful DH and 3 fabulous DCs. As a PP said it's not about the wedding really, it's about the marriage and I have learnt not to be such a people pleaser smile

Your plans sound brilliant. I am so having chocolate cake at my silver wedding.

InsultingBadger Fri 11-Oct-13 12:52:34

I think it sounds fab and I may steal your idea! smile

Orangeworkclock Fri 11-Oct-13 13:03:57

TheWoollysbackWife How lovely smile Chocolate cake is the way to go

I'm so pleased with the out come of this. It's decided!! Yay!

Now to work out logistics... confused

likeit Thu 09-Jan-14 17:59:52

Even I'm excited reading that! Bet you're guests will be really chuffed with that

BanjoPlayingTiger Thu 09-Jan-14 18:07:16

That sounds wonderful, but I am imagining loads of mumsnetters trying to discretely see your wedding at the bandstand, standing around all nonchalantly in hats. grin

RalphRecklessCardew Thu 09-Jan-14 18:57:37

Original, considerate, fun. Very good idea.

Trooperslane Thu 09-Jan-14 19:02:20

And another yes from me. Sounds great and nicely quirky without any trying too hard.

Exciting smilewinewinewinethanksthanksthanks

EdithWeston Thu 09-Jan-14 19:05:26

I think the wedding sounds lovely.

And bearing your own costs for hen/stag do is normal.

<would love to come and stand nonchalantly in a hat>

ChazzerChaser Thu 09-Jan-14 19:14:08

Sounds great.

For the stag/hen thing the evening before, why not just say to people we'll be at x is you want to come and join us. Then they won't feel obliged as they might if it's billed stag/hen but you can have an evening together if you'd like. I've seen that done.

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 09-Jan-14 19:30:17

<zombie thread alert >

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho Thu 09-Jan-14 19:43:41

Sounds lovely and I can vouch for cloud9 a relative had a wedding cak from them and it was delish.

The diner id quite nice, I've been there once and the food was pretty good. I've also seen a wedding at the bandstand and it seemed really lovely.

If you come down to visit before hand cloud9 sat us down with cake tasters which was fun. I'd happily come along to help you decide grin

drinkyourmilk Thu 09-Jan-14 20:17:33

There is a deal on Brighton Groupon today for the burlington in Worthing for a wedding package

myflabberisgasted Thu 09-Jan-14 20:29:42

I think it sounds fantastic! If I wasn't already married I'd steal your idea too!! wink

likeit Thu 09-Jan-14 20:32:59

Might be a 'zombie thread' but if you're planning a wedding it sure does give people more options for their day smile

MsAspreyDiamonds Thu 09-Jan-14 20:59:39

It sounds wonderfully unique. Here are a few tips to generate a bit more cash to add to your pot:

Start selling stuff on e-bay/car boots sales that you do not need anymore to generate cash for your reception.
for eg. I recently sold some gold bracelets that I inherited for 2k. If you set your mind to it it is amazing how much you can raise.

Open a high interest, fixed term notice account where you can save specifically for your wedding.

Cancel Christmas gift s this year, just buy small token presents if need be.

Cancel your annual holidays.

Cancel hobbies/subscriptions for a year

Have a late afternoon ceremony (4/5pm) so you can invite everybody to the wedding ceremony & reception afterwards. That way you have one set of catering costs so you can feed everyone.

Good luck.

MsAspreyDiamonds Thu 09-Jan-14 21:03:49

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers Thu 09-Jan-14 21:15:12

Think it sounds lovely! I'd love to go it a wedding like that.
Re other people ideas about halls , it does work out much cheaper. We hirer a really lovely village hall, beautiful quaint village and it only cost £125 to hire from 7 in the morning until midnight. We got married in a registers office about 10 miles away then moved on to the hall. We decorated it in the morning ( this is when I realised how lovely and talented my friends and family were) a family friend did the food, buffet but with special buffet food. (!) and tables beautifully decorated and hired. 2 bands for the evening, we had several family friends who enjoy photography doing photos. Cake made by a talented family member. Whole cost including registers office was. £2500 :-) weddings don't have to cost the earth, we are still married and I have great memories of our wedding :-)

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