The imaginatively-named Wedding Quiche

(947 Posts)
TobyLerone Sun 21-Oct-12 18:49:15

Come one, come all.

Getting married? Come and tell us about it so you don't have to go on the scary Bridezilla forums.

Wedding-whore? Come and relive the best day of your life.

Wedding-voyeur? Bugger off, you freak! Get your fix here.

I'm in. I'm getting married next September and I've become a bit of a bridezilla.

buryburybury Sun 21-Oct-12 18:54:08

I'm just a whore

Signing in.

My bridezilla days are over sad

But I'm a wedding perve grin

I will endeavour to help you all with your bridezilla issues.

I will boast about my wedding and bask in its glory.

I will perve over all your wedding shenanigans with a face like envy

LondonGhostInChainWrackedBoots Sun 21-Oct-12 18:55:13

I'm in, I'm getting married next Oct and I think I need to be a bit more Bridezilla - so far I have organized a church and a groom. While a good start, I need to actually do all the rest now.

TobyLerone Sun 21-Oct-12 18:57:25

I am the least Bridezilla-y person ever. I am driving my friend/wedding planner insane with my refusal to give much of a shit about anything other than marrying DP.

It's in January.

buryburybury Sun 21-Oct-12 18:59:04

I will sit with cat on the viewing bench chirping in when not needed

Normally rubyrubyruby btw

TobyLerone Sun 21-Oct-12 19:05:41

I am watching Bridezillas right now gringrin

Hi Rubes!

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 19:09:55

Eeee I'm in grin

Toby what is Bridezillas???

I'm getting married in <whispers> July 2014. It's so far away. I feel like just planning this far in advance might make me a bit crazy.

OTheEldritchManateesOfMadness Sun 21-Oct-12 19:13:04

No longer a bridezilla, but I love a good wedding chat grin

TobyLerone Sun 21-Oct-12 19:35:41

Bridezillas = crap reality show on Really.

D0G Sun 21-Oct-12 19:37:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LondonGhostInChainWrackedBoots Sun 21-Oct-12 19:38:13

Blasphemy! Bridezillas is the one of the most amazing shows on TV. They find the most obnoxious women in the world and follow them round being truly awful in the weeks before their wedding. Its not as good as DTTB but its amazing.

I was like you, roughtyping I've been engaged for 2 years already, and it was 'so far away' for so long that now I've got less than a year and nothing done at all. And every smug fucker kind friend is saying 'You must be all finished planning already' and I don't even have an address yet!

I've never seen Bridezilla' but I love DTTB and Four Weddings. I wish I'd been a bit slower with my planning really, 11 months to go and I have nothing left to do.

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 19:43:59

I am a whore

i only recently got married on the 1st of September 2012.

I can relive and share all the useful tips i picked up along the way (see i'm useful)


What flowers did you have in your bouquet cookie?

ninjanurse Sun 21-Oct-12 20:01:43

oooh ooh me me! Im getting married on March 1st! Its second marriage for both of us, so we are not having a huge do. Wedding at a local naice registry office for 40 people and a sit down meal at a local function place after. Reception for another 60 or so in the evening.

My DD and DSD are bridesmaids. DSS is best man, Im thinking DS (7) might walk down the aile with me? As my dad has already done this. DSD is going to do a reading at the ceromony.

We have booked the wedding service, reception and photographer. We are giving notice on Friday. Errrr thats it so far! Oh I have bought some bridemaids dresses! We are not having cars. My mum is sorting decorations and flowers. My friend is making a cake.

Would be very grateful for any tips, ideas and a kick up the bum as time is ticking and I need to get sorted!

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 20:02:53

I'll put a picture on my profile smile

Your engagement ring is a similar shape to mine Cookie.

Have you chosen a reading ninja?

ninjanurse Sun 21-Oct-12 20:11:23

errr no. Was possibly thinking The Owl and The Pussycat, but if anyone else has any ideas, they would be gratefully received.

Have you considered Maybe? Quite appropriate for a second marriage.

bulletwithspookybatwings Sun 21-Oct-12 20:17:21

Hellooo! I'm gettng married next year, November probably smile Nothing organised yet but very excited. grin

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 20:19:30

Ok the photo's are up now!!

AKissIsNotAContract - its a lovely shape isn't it!!

My wedding ring is shaped round my ring, so i wear them both together!! Used a great company who come to you to sort it out. FAB!!

I had three readings, my wedding was at a venue so non religous i had:

I'll paint a sun to warm your heart
Knowing that we'll never part.
I'll draw the years all passing by
So much to learn, so much to try.

I'll paint my mood in shadow blue,
Paint my soul to be with you.
I'll sketch your lips in shaded tones,
Draw your mouth to my own.

I'll trace a hand to wipe your tears
And trace a look to calm your fears.
A silhouette of dark and light
To hold each other oh so tight.

I'll paint the stars in the evening sky,
Draw the light into your eyes,
A touch of love, a touch of grace,
To softly fall on your moonlit face.

And with this ring our lives will start,
Let nothing keep our love apart.
I'll take your hand to hold in mine,
And be together through all time.

ninjanurse Sun 21-Oct-12 20:19:34

I really like that! Would it be suitable for a 10 year old to read though? Maybe Ill have 2 readings.

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 20:21:26

this as well:

“To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up”


Love me when I'm old and shocking
Peel off my elastic stockings
Swing me from the chandeliers
Let's be randy bad old dears.

Push around my chromed Bath Chair
Let me tease your white chest hair
Scaring children, swapping dentures
Let us have some great adventures

Take me to the Dogs and Bingo
Teach me how to speak the lingo
Bone my eels and bring me tea
Show me how it's meant to be

Take me to your special places
Watching all the puzzled faces
You in shorts and socks and sandals
Me with warts and huge love-handles

As the need for love enthralls
Wrestle with my damp proof smalls
Make me laugh without constraint
Buy me chocolate body paint

Hold me safe throughout the night
When my hair has turned to white
Believe me when I say it's true
I've waited all my life for you

RedGreenRouge Sun 21-Oct-12 20:28:21

We're getting married (civil partnered?) in August 2013. We're still undecided on most things and fear we've left things too late!

Omg! We are having the Saga one! I thought we were original!!

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 20:33:18

RedGreenRouge, you can't have possibly left it to late you've got loads of time left, i basically did everything in the last six months, the night before the wedding i was making bloody home made confetti blush, and what was DH doing, having a pint in the pub!!

Which one is the saga one?

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 20:34:44

Ninja - i think it is to old for a 10 year old to read, but i am sure you can find something appropriate grin

RedGreenRouge Sun 21-Oct-12 20:34:45

Good - I've obviously been talking to really organised bridezillas then!

Love me when I'm old and shocking is the saga one.

Have you picked a venue red? I think you've got plenty of time. I've been laughed at by a few places for trying to book things too early.

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 20:36:24

Red - what do you need to organise?

Bridezillas are bad, stay away from them grin

NumTum7 Sun 21-Oct-12 20:42:48

Just married mid September! Kinda missing the planning, it was fun! Love bridezillas and don't tell the bride! grin

MrsEddChina Sun 21-Oct-12 20:44:21

I'm a great bridezilla, decided to tie the knot in August 2012, married November 2012. Everything done in 3 months without a hitch. I was very smug proud of myself!

NumTum7 Sun 21-Oct-12 20:52:03

Great going MrsEdd I spent about 7 months but most of that was making my bloody fiddly invitations...

Do you mean 2011 or are you a time travelling bridezilla?

D0G Sun 21-Oct-12 20:59:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 21:30:16


HERE you all are!!

Where do I even start?

Our wedding is May 2013. Most of it is pretty decided/booked/chosen. I can tell you about dress, photography, venue, food, readings, ceremony, music, decorations, colours, stationery, hair, make-up, bridal party outfits, cinematography, it's just coming out of my ears and I have hardly any outlet to purge myself of it all. <Breathe>

I'm currently getting pissed off over bands who are crap at communicating, taking over from hairdressers at the top of my crappest-supplier hitlist.

Cookie I LOVE your bouquet. I'm having flashes of blue (actually, aqua in mine)

I can't wait to pick all your brains and hear about everyones ideas. Have I gushed enough in this post?

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 21:31:40

Thank you ViviPru (i still have it drying at my parents house, it smells divine)

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 21:34:05

Looks like maybe some muscari and delphinium in there? The eucalyptus must have added to the fragrance...

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 21:34:27

AKissIsNotAContract - hey what can i say, great minds think alike grin my father in law read that a the wedding, the readings got mixed up my fault and he got that one slightly blush but he enjoyed reading it so hey ho!!

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 21:36:38

Erm i have to say i have no idea, my original theme was eucalyptus but nothing comes in that colour, so we switched to navy and then used eucalyptus where we could, we ended up with black and white dresses for the bridesmaid so the whole colour thing went out the window and we just went with whatever looked good. smile

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 21:37:03

The puppy is now asleep so I can leave the laptop and go and sit down in the other room. Looking forward to catching up on this thread again though.

While we're on the topic of readings, I've asked my MOH to do Oh The Places You'll Go, which is really more of a sentiment from me to DP, but it would look silly if the bride stood up and did a reading I think. It's a surprise to him though, I've told him it's something from me to him...

NumTum7 Sun 21-Oct-12 21:55:39

vivipru I wanted Oh The Places We'll Go but we couldn't think of anyone who could pull it off! We had Secrets of a Good Marriage and Indian Wedding Blessing plus a biblical one for our chapel blessing. I found choosing readings pretty tricky and we really only finalised it last minute!
cookielove agree, your flowers are lovely. I went for the traditional - diferent shades of roses with lots of greenery.

I am LOVING this quiche grin

Am enjoying perving over hearing everyone's plans.

D0G Sun 21-Oct-12 22:00:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheReturnOfBridezilla Sun 21-Oct-12 22:02:58

Can I please join? I'm getting married in July, so far have the venue, the dress and the registrar arranged and that's erm about it. Lots to do! Have been hitting the wedding fayres today... Bit shit aren't they really?

Generic photographer
Rail of not-really-your-thing dresses
Man with sparkly curtain
Kitchen-table-mummy-entrepreneur with her homemade tat stationery.
Insincere hotel staff handing out drinks and carrier bags
Lovely cake though!

RedGreenRouge Sun 21-Oct-12 22:05:10

No venue yet. We aren't quite sure what we're looking for: we keep finding gorgeous places but then realising they aren't registered for civil partnerships. The one place we loved and is registered has terrible reviews for weddings.

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 22:18:13

London we've booked the venue, celebrant and photographer so feel super organised already smile We live in Scotland so we're having a humanist celebrant, which should be fab.

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 22:18:32

And I've never seen Bridezillas! Will need to keep an eye out for it.

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 22:21:46

Can I show you where we're getting married? Am I allowed?

This is the videographer I reeeally want but won't get cos it's too expensive sad


ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 22:27:11

No I've never seen bridezillas either but I'm completely addicted to DTTB, predictable narrative arc and all.

AKiss I've found it hard to get suppliers to fully engage with me so early in the planning. I've felt a bit sad how people have seemed to be so take-or-leave. Did you order your BM dresses? Did you go for FH&FH in the end?

LetUsPrey Sun 21-Oct-12 22:30:07

A wedding quiche? I love wedding talk.

I'll just sit quietly in the corner, smiling in a non-creepy manner, and listen to all the wedding stuff.

<gets comfy>

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 22:30:32

NumTum7 - thank you. I adore the classic look you describe for your flowers, i only managed to squeeze a bit of pink in because of the baby bridesmaids shoes, other wise i would have alot more of it in mine, DP hates pink!!

cookielove Sun 21-Oct-12 22:31:26

DH, not DP, it's really hard to change that, i keep calling him my boyfriend in real life and then correcting myself to husband blush

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 22:43:07

rough course you can show us the venue!!! In fact I insist you do! Are you sure about the videographer? I have been backwards and forwards over it, it seems so expensive for something that feels like such a non-essential, but so many people say it's the one thing they regret not having/the one thing they're so glad they stretched to.

I was originally hoping to use Reel Love Films but she's busy on the day, so instead we're having Shutterbox Films. It was when I saw the dancing at the end of this film that I was like "sold"!

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 22:51:21

Thanks Pru grin

we're getting married here. Hoping we'll have good weather so we can get married under the big red tree outside. smile

Those companies are a wee bit far away for me! smile Love the 8mm films, Sugar8 does really beautiful films (her own wedding is on their vimeo page) but it's £500 for a 3 min film.... if we come into any money, I know where it'll be going grin

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 22:52:23

shock love love love the film you linked to! It's great smile

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 22:53:50
memphis83 Sun 21-Oct-12 22:59:00

We are getting married in March 2014, we have most things booked apart from photographer as I cant find anything below a grand. I have my dress.
Went to the national wedding show 2 weeks ago and wow there were so many bridezillas! Also paid a deposit for a photo booth and they said they had bookings as far as summer 2016!
They only reason I am sorting it so early is we want a baby before we get married and I don't want to be freaking out trying to plan a weddig with toddler and baby in tow.

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 23:00:43

Wow that countryside is incredible, rough. What a spot.

I was thinking the sugar8 prices looked quite reasonable, but didn't read the running time of the films... 3 minutes? Not a lot for your money...

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 23:03:41

memphis we've booked a photobooth too, they're amazing, wind machine and everything!

Re photographers, we got ours through a wedding show - a package with £250 knocked off, taking it under £1k, including an album. Lots of the packages we saw were around the £1k mark and you only got a CD of images. Really pleased with what we got, love the company's work smile

Pru yes it's beautiful, it's the Campsie hills. The hill you can see in that photo is the sleeping giant's head!

I know, it's set to song lengths I think. They are gorgeous videos though...

RedGreenRouge Sun 21-Oct-12 23:05:02

The red tree and the view are beautiful, rough.

Are wedding videos a "thing" now?

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 23:08:30

I think they've always been a popular option, RGR, but over the last few years there's been a trend away from the cheesy, wobbly traditional wedding video towards a cinematic, narrative driven style of film which appeals to the kind of person who might not have ordinarily chosen to have a standard video.

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 23:09:46

Can you link to your photographer, rough? Photography is my biggest wedding expense passion....

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 23:10:51

The last wedding I went to I got my bum out in the photobooth. I suggest you breathalyse people before you let them in.

I've not ordered my BM dresses as one of my brideslaves is pregnant but I am going for Seafoam on forherandforhim.

Whereabouts in the country are you red? The place we are getting married is owned by a gay couple and is licensed for both. I naively assumed all venues that do civil weddings would do civil partnerships too.

RedGreenRouge Sun 21-Oct-12 23:12:50

I feel quite ignorant. I had a vague notion of planning the whole thing two months in advance until I was told not to be ridiculous.

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 23:13:45

Oh I can't resist a challenge - there are a lot of photos on that showreel though!!!

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 23:14:44

There are, it's not toooo far in though...

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 23:18:09

RGR that's not ignorant at all. I think one could plan it in a week if one were so inclined. Whoever's telling you you're ridiculous ought to wind their neck in.

AKiss how inconsiderate of her!!! wink How old will her baby be at your wedding? Is she still happily full steam ahead with being a bridesmaid? What's your kids/babes-in-arms policy?

I just found out my sister is expecting #2 a month before our wedding. She thought I might be put out (as if?!) but if anything I'm thrilled that it will be the first time in about a year she (and I) will be having a drink and unpasturised cheese grin

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 23:20:03

RGR my aunt planned hers really quickly, in a couple of months. Did the decorations etc herself as well smile She had a really lovely wedding.

ViviPru Sun 21-Oct-12 23:21:21

I'm turning in - look forward to catching up with you all soon. Details details please! And LINKS!

Asmywhimsytakesme Sun 21-Oct-12 23:25:27

Very excited about being bm next year.

Marking place grin

buryburybury Sun 21-Oct-12 23:26:05

I did mine in 3 months - no problem smile

It was great.

The baby will be 7 months. We are having a child free wedding but making an exception for her children and my nephews. It's actually my future SIL who seems to be a reluctant BM. I only asked her to be nice, she was really keen at first then she got engaged and I think she's lost interest. It's a bit awkward now because I don't want her to feel like she can't say no but don't want to exclude her either.

RedGreenRouge Sun 21-Oct-12 23:28:37

AKiss, we're in London but will hopefully be married in Scotland. We're looking at Glasgow primarily at the moment. We want a blessing in a church later as we're religious so had hoped for somewhere near to a liberal enough church. We were very tempted by certain places in Brighton and certain place in Wales but we weren't sure if a fully "gay" wedding would be fair on our families (who are very supportive but some a tad unsure and uncomfortable at times).

I live near Brighton and my sister had her civil partnership in Horsham. I'm not sure what you mean by a fully 'gay' wedding really!

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 23:34:31

Red, at the Rennie Mackintosh church on Maryhill Road in Glasgow you can have a humanist ceremony. It's beautiful smile

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 23:35:23

If you need any help with Glasgow venues etc I'm happy to help btw grin

roughtyping Sun 21-Oct-12 23:37:08
RedGreenRouge Sun 21-Oct-12 23:43:39

Thanks rough!We're looking for something quite small at the moment for the blessing but that might change if my dad's family decide to come so I'll keep that in my wedding folder. smile

RedGreenRouge Sun 21-Oct-12 23:45:54

By gay wedding I meant somewhere in which we would be conspicuously having a civil partnership. For example, the place in Wales seems to cater exclusively for civil partnerships. It was beautiful but might make the Catholic members of my family uncomfortable, sadly.

Perhaps we are spoilt being near Brighton. Every venue we looked at did both civil partnerships and civil marriages.

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 08:23:30

Morning, chatty wedding ladies!

I'm getting married in January. We only got engaged in August, so we haven't had long to plan, really. The other night, though, we were saying we wish it was sooner because pretty much everything is done and we're just twiddling our thumbs now.

Thistledew Mon 22-Oct-12 08:53:26

Hello All

DP and I got engaged in May and we are getting married in April next year. We have the venue booked (not easy to do in London in under a year unless you pay ££££ as everything seems to get booked up years in advance.

We made and sent out the first tranche of invitations to family and long-term friends, and replies are just starting to come back. We are planning to send out another tranche in the new year to colleague friends, once we have settled on what our budget can be.

We have booked the Registrar and given notice of intention.

I am having my dress made, and going for a first fitting today. DP has his suit on order.

We have booked a venue at which we will have both the civil ceremony and meal/evening entertainment. It is less than 10 mins down the road from us! We are having quite a lot of guests, but are picking and choosing the bits we want from a traditional ceremony, so it won't be a big white wedding.

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 09:02:10

Bloody hell, thistle! You're organised! You've sent invitations already? I still haven't sent all mine blush

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 09:03:45

Welcome Thistle smile

First dress fitting today - that's rather exciting, have you had it designed from scratch or adapting an existing design? Tell us all about it.

Tobes I feel like I wish it was sooner too, most of the big stuff is sorted but we've loads of less pressing but still arduous jobs to do and DP is doing his usual 'we don't have to worry about that now. There's ages yet'... Righto - that's what you said about your degree show project and look how that turned out hmm... I can just see us in the final days going out of our minds frantically sorting out the music and 'installations' and all the other tasks we supposedly had AGES to do sad

AKiss are you just going to leave things be with your future SiL, or have you thought about finding a way to say 'I'd still love you to be my bridesmaid, but understand if for whatever reason you'd prefer not to' - tricky to find the right words confused

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 09:08:26

My BFF (also my 'wedding planner') is getting annoyed with me because I'm not giving her anything to do and because I can't bring myself to give a toss about centrepieces and because I refuse to have a table plan.

So I'm with your DP, Vivi grin

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 09:09:56

Would you mind if she just went off and sorted all that herself?

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 09:15:34

Yes, very much! It's just not something that matters to me. It already feels a bit like I'm going to be pushed into things I don't want and I can feel my inner Bridezilla rising. I hope we're still friends afterwards!

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 09:21:26

She needs a little project to get her teeth into, something that will sate her desire to plan, make and organise. Something that doesn't really matter to you in the grand scheme of things but acts as a decoy to keep her occupied and prevents her from pushing you into choices you'd prefer not to have.

I did this with MiL. I have tasked her with 'the flowers' aka procuring and growing a load of spring flowering bulbs. She's taken is on with astonishing gusto and it's kept her right out of all of the other planning stuff. This could well all blow up in my face come the nuptials when she becomes flower-Hitler but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 09:27:04

It's a good idea. I tend to think that it's not my job to satisfy other people, but that's because I am a contrary caaaaah grin

gringrin @ flower-Hitler

Wow thistle, you are even more organised than me. Did you make your invitations? I've looked into it and it doesn't seem to work out much cheaper but maybe I'm looking in the wrong places.

I don't know what to do about future SIL. There's nothing worse than being a reluctant brideslave but then it's pretty rude if I just unask her.

What will you do without a seating plan Toby? Won't it turn into a bit of a free for all?

I've also put future mil in charge of flowers, good ploy to stop the interfering.

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 09:35:16

A free for all is exactly what I want it to be! There will be more seats than there are people, and I want everyone to sit wherever they like and to move around and mingle. We're not really having a proper sit-down dinner anyway.

I made my invitations on Vistaprint, AKiss. They're maybe not as fancy as some, but I love them and have been complimented on them quite a lot. 'Fancy' just isn't us, anyway!

Just ask future-SIL outright if she'd still like to be a BM. Tell her you still want her to if she'd still like to, but that she's got a get-out clause now if she wants one.

NumTum7 Mon 22-Oct-12 09:41:51

Thistle that is super organised!! Good luck with the dress fitting - very exciting to have your dress made just for you - I had mine made in China so not quite the same but it was made to my measurements and fitted like a glove which is good cos im a weird shape Cannot believe you have done invites already - we didnt send ours until about 8 weeks before. We did make sure that anyone we couldn't live without being there knew the date as soon as we did though.

We had a relaxed wedding with no seating plan and it worked fine - people helped themselves to hog roast, salads, roast potaoes etc and then grabbed a bottle of their favourite wine and sat wherever they liked!

Cookielove (and anyone else who might be interested!) have posted a pic of my flowers on my profile. Also a pic of us in knitted form that someone made us as a wedding gift! grin

I'm here too! September next year for me. This thread is very well timed as today I have received my florist quote (actually very good, hooray) and, more excitingly, my super-amazing customised pink and leopard print Converse with my married name on the back, which I shall be wearing for the reception. And my dress is short, so EVERYONE can bask in their glory smile

Am excited to have somewhere to vent wedding chat!

DP says I am not Bridezilla but Bridezuki...

Oh, and have you all seen this that has been doing the internet rounds?

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 09:52:16

Well I've just had a contender for Annoying Email of the week and it's not even 10am on Monday yet.

Between two of my bridesmaids we've been starting to formulate plans for a hen do. Friend A (MOH) has been in on the planning from the moment we got engaged. Friend B has a weekend work commitment that is definitely April, but she won't know what date until nearer the time. Friend A has been fully aware of this situation, A&B are very good friends with each other.

So I said ok then, lets rule out April altogether and plan it for March. Two of the weekends in March are school holiday, so that will be too expensive for people, so lets say the 14/15/16.

I've just had an email from A saying she may "potentially' be away skiing those dates in March, I am not sure and am just in early stages of working out when but trip could fall anywhere beteen end of feb and end of March as trying to avoid half term / Easter hols and will depend on group decision"

Yes I accept it's bridezilla-y to expect people to fit their plans around my wedding/hen do, and generally I wouldn't dream of doing so, but friend A has known all about the trickiness with dates with friend B and this is the first time I've heard about any skiing trip. Anyone else I'd say, well, fine, that's a shame if it clashes but nevermind, I'd love you to have been able to come but that's life, but this is the MOH who is supposed to be organising the hen do.

I wouldn't mind, but every step of the way I've tried to be accommodating with it, making sure I suggest ideas that are accessible and affordable and appeal to everyone. I'm fed up of them sad

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 09:52:28

grin Bridezuki! That's cute smile

Glad to hear it worked out well for you, NumTum. That's reassuring. Especially considering that Wedding Plannerzilla seems dead set that it Will Not Work. Your flowers are pretty smile

Yes, I've seen that, little. Crazy...

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 09:54:44

Eeeeek, Vivi! That makes me even more glad that I'm not having a fancy hen do! It seems like even more stress that you don't need sad

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 09:58:57

I wouldn't mind, but it's not even fancy, half of my friends are here in the Midlands and the other half are in Manchester so I thought it would be nice and easy for everyone to meet up in the peak district for a night, cheap and cheerful bunkhouse, pyjama party, drinks, pizzas and a nice walk & pub lunch the next day.

EVERYONE except the MOH and bridesmaid have been "Sounds fab can't wait, any date in March/April is fine"

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:10:15

On a more positive note, NumTum I love your knitted bride and groom. My Mum's knitted our cake toppers, it's a cock and a hen which is a bit of a nod to DP's and my future surname.....

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 10:13:45

Oooh, that sounds lovely, Vivi. What a shame everyone can't just stop being twats!

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:16:55

grin Are you having a hen do type thing? Maybe that could be just the decoy project for your well-meaning if overzealous Wedding Planner?

After reading that I've realised I'm not really a bridezilla! That's shocking

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 10:25:53

Just going out for a meal locally. It won't take any planning, sadly! Hen nights really aren't my thing.

I'm trying to think of things I can involve her in. I'm going over to hers one day next week so that we can perhaps make a start on some of the table decorations/favours (we're not really having favours, but we're going to grow little pots of various herbs to put on the tables which people can take home with them). We need to find a way to tart up 50-odd plant pots hmm

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:27:52

What's shocking? That I've got the arse or that between my bridesmaid and MOH the two whole months before my wedding have been ruled out as off limits for a hen do?!

memphis83 Mon 22-Oct-12 10:30:36

vivi that sounds like a great hen do. Most of my friends are men so we are having my very friends going somewhere having a men v ladies go karting race day then a night out. But we will have a horrific cheesey ladies night for the sisters and mums probably starting at bingo knowing my mil.
I have put mil in charge of the cake so she has left me alone now.
As for the photobooth I warned them what our guests are like and they said don't worry they are used to it as they do freshers week. A copy of every photo taken goes in a guest book and also live video feed onto an ipad as it happens in the booth and linked onto facebook so im sure some people will cringe the next morning.

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:33:23

I'd liked to have done something like that Tobes but only 2 of my good girlfriends live nearby so everyone else would have to travel anyway, I thought having it in equidistant between everyone was a good compromise - most of them seem to agree, thankfully!

I like the idea of the herbs. How about a load of sacking/hessian tied round with some ribbon or twine? like this or this

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 10:35:19

I want a photo booth sadsadsad

We went quite a bit over budget on the rings, so the photo booth has been vetoed. It's ok. The rings are more important, right?

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:35:23

I would have liked to have some kind of joint stag/hen night out as most of our friends are mutual, it seems a bit silly that my two (male) best friends are going on the stag but not my hen, but DPs best man is quite old school and organised a traditional stag do months ago before I even dare to moot the topic.

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 10:36:52

That second pic, Vivi, is exactly what we're going to do, but with corrugated card. The hessian looks lovely, though smile

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:37:45

memphis did you see the DTTB when the hens got taken to the bingo! Ha! Not as bad as the paintballing one when the bridesmaid got a massive bruise a couple of days before he wedding grin

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:39:08

Rings are way more important, Tobes. What's yours like? Can you link to an image of something similar?

Toby have a google for diy photobooths - you basically just need a camera on a tripod set up in front of a backdrop in the corner, and make/borrow/steal/buy a basket of funny props to go with it.

Vivi your hen sounds lush!

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:42:24

Thanks stan. Have you had any ideas for yours? I know the wedding's a bit of a way off comparatively speaking but you might have something in mind for a hen?

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 10:47:20

IIRC, this is my wedding ring. My engagement ring is white gold, 1930s, antique-cut solitaire diamond. My hands are the size of a small child's, so I needed something really narrow so that it didn't look weird. And the one with the tiny diamonds in went beautifully and looked so much nicer than the plain one I thought I wanted.

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 10:47:45

I'll do that, stan smile

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:52:11

Ooh that's really lovely. I thought I'd just have a nice simple plain one too, but it didn't look right with my engagement ring so I think I'm going to have this one instead to go with it.

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 10:53:15

bad link - try this

Hen is one of my things that is preying on my mind at the moment (along with rings and bridesmaid dresses). I am hugely uncomfortable with asking people to part with too much money, and have morbid terror of being made to go on some sort of night out to a hideous club with crap music. At the moment I really like the idea (similar to yours) of getting everyone together for the weekend to stay in a cottgae/yurt/caravan, drink wine, have a campfire and generally hang out...

Sorry vivi this thread is moving too quick for me, my reply was to littlemisstan's link!

I'm doing karaoke for my hen night. You can all shun me now, I deserve it.

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 11:36:00

Ah sorry, yes I love that link grin

I don't think karaoke is such a terrible idea - at least its a focus and everyone's expectations will be managed... nothing worse than a vague night out with everyone wanting to go to different places. And it will be a right laugh

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 12:28:34

Lovely rings, Vivi smile I remember your engagement ring from your thread about it grin

I think karaoke is a great idea! If I were more outgoing, that's what I'd do.

aufaniae Mon 22-Oct-12 12:30:04

We're getting married, at some point. But as I'm pregnant with DC2 now, can't see it happening for a year or three!

What are you all doing about surnames? I'm trying to talk DP into us both double barrelling (but without the - if that makes a difference)

memphis83 Mon 22-Oct-12 16:00:33

vivi yes I saw the episode of DTTB, I can see as my mil loves bingo us doing that then I will venture up the road into the city to the bars with my friends then it keeps everyone happy its only 2 hours of my life to keep me in mil's good books! the night we are going away go karting there may only be a car or 2 of us going so we all have a laugh, two people recently had hen nights who I know and they invited around 30 women to each, different groups from different places like her work, uni, school mates and they all ended up fighting or bitching, also the hen ended up in bed by 10 as she was so drunk!
Toby the only reason we can afford photobooth is dp wants a titanium ring so his is a lot cheaper than expected grin some photographers provide props and a white back ground at the recetion as an open 'booth' could yours do that?
I am having one bridesmaid and a 'man of honour' and I fear he will probably make me wear a 6foot penis for the 'hen' do!
a kiss I am not keeping my name as my first name is 9 letters and his surname is 12 letters so it is going to be too much of a mouthful without adding mine to the mix, I am also not bothered about losing mine I have wanted to change it for years.
What is everyones colours/themes? I am having navy and also a vintage look like like bunting and lace but only to save money as then we can do a lot ourselves.

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 16:21:59

Well, yes, memphis. I thought I wanted a plain white gold ring, and DP was going to have a plain palladium one, but then he fell in love with this one. So, considering that we ought to have been able to have got both for less than we paid for his, the photo booth had to go.

I might look into a DIY one if I can be arsed. I don't know...I mainly wanted the booth for the guest book, so I might not bother. And I really don't want moustaches on sticks and feather boas.

I'm changing my name. I've been married before and kept my XH's name after the divorce out of laziness. So it would be weird to keep a name which wasn't mine in the first place.

I don't have a theme. It's all going to be a bit of a mismatch. We'll have whatever flowers we can get from the wholesaler the week before, and they'll be in bottles and jars and jugs dotted around. We'll have candles and fairy lights and sparkly beads hanging from beams etc.

aufaniae Mon 22-Oct-12 16:25:14

AKissIsNotAContract I'm keeping my name, DP is keeping his.

DS has DP's name as a surname, with mine as a (second) middle name (as will bump).

Our colour is Tiffany blue and we're having a Caribbean theme, Caribbean islands for table names and a Jamaican dancehall disco for the first hour to get the party started.

Does anyone else have good ideas in their heads and then worry that it'll turn out shit and eveyone will be thinking WTF are this couple doing?

Yours sounds lovely Toby. Am I right in thinking you're not far from me? Brighton area?

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 16:52:42

I'm in Kent, AKiss.

Are you/your DP from the Caribbean, or did you just fancy it?

I worry that nobody will dance to my ceilidh band.

We're having navy (well, in as far as the bridesmaids are wearing it) too, and masses of bunting which I am making like a loon...

akiss I think this about my table idea - I have made a tablecloth for each table (10 of them) in all different fabrics, so all the tables will be different (though each fabric is in the bunting too). In my head it will look all rustic and vintage, but am worried it will just be a bit of a mess...

memphis83 Mon 22-Oct-12 16:55:18

toby that ring is really nice I won't be taking him there for a ring as I wasn't banking on one being that dear! My flowers will also be whatever wholesaler has in as long as they look wild only my flowers will be done with by a florist.
akiss I don't think people will like the fact we won't have a top table so the speeches will be dotted around room but my thinking is then everyone gets to move about rather than wrench their necks in one direction, this is as in laws won't sit together and their partners won't sit without them.

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 16:57:56

I thought about photobooths but was put off by all the moustaches and afro wigs too. I'm going to task my niece with going around with a polaroid getting photos of everyone and asking them to sign them, then I'll compile that by way of a guestbook.

As far as names go, DP's surname is one of those eye-wateringly terrible ones, but I've always despised mine too and it makes for some vey cruel playground taunts, so his is the lesser of the evils. When we got engaged I asked him if he had any preferences about me taking his name or not and he said he'd really like it if I did.

It's also a strange inverted act of rebellion on my part as his family (inaccurately) have me down as some high-flying, womens' libber career woman type and were really shocked when they found out I was taking his name, which I enjoyed grin

My colours are aquamarine and pale yellow. I design palettes as part of my day job so coming up with one for my wedding was too much of a temptation to resist (Pantones 12-5206 TCX and 11-0616 TCX to be exact grin )

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 16:59:28

Your tablecloth idea sounds lovely, stan. It's the kind of thing which makes me wish I cared more, cos I'd do that grin

And I like the idea of having the speeches dotted around the room. We're not having a top table either, and it's raised a few eyebrows, but I don't care grin

aufaniae Mon 22-Oct-12 16:59:52

Ceilidhs are great smile As is dance hall, I love dancehall smile

For both I reckon a liberal supply of alcohol helps!

Tobylerone will there be people there who know the traditional Ceilidh dances?

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 17:01:49

Stan, I've seen that tablecloth thing done on a couple of wedding blogs lately and it can look really nice. I'm having white tablecloths but have collected a load of mishmash printed fabric in the yellows and aquas and am going to make a napkin for everyone's place setting which I plan to free-machine-embroider their names on - they'll double up as placenames too...

No top table for me either - we're such rebels smile Thanks Toby - I really like the idea, I want nothing formal or matching so it's taking that to an extreme perhaps! My stepmother is currently all shock that I am not having chair covers... Btw, was it you a bit ago having a fish and chip van? I still love that idea if it was!

I am also taking DP's name. Mine is a very common not-quite-Smith-but-nearly British surname, his is much more unusual, I am looking forward to not being one of loads for once!

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 17:03:43

Ooooh, I love the idea of a polaroid camera! We were going to get people to draw self-portraits and write a little note on them in lieu of a guestbook. But I really like the polaroid idea.

OTheEldritchManateesOfMadness Mon 22-Oct-12 17:04:32

We had a ceilidh. I was too arseholed tired by then to do much dancing though blush

Tobes, loads of people danced at ours. Our guests' children all joined in as well, which was really sweet. Just make sure you book a dance band who don't try and do anything too complicated: our band kept trying to teach our guests really complex dances and ending up with me us milling about going 'wtf???' instead of stripping the willow or do si do-ing or whatever.

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 17:09:40

Nope, don't know anyone who will know the ceilidh dances, and I've forgotten all I ever knew, so it'll be amusing grin Every ceilidh I've ever been to has had a caller (as does ours) who explains everything. Hilarity often ensues.

Yes, it was me with the fish and chip van, but we decided to go with a hog roast in the end because it's less for people to moan about, and because they'll carve and serve it inside.

cookielove Mon 22-Oct-12 17:18:59

Littlemisstan - converse rock, i wore some under my dress light blue with white stars, which did feel really odd, but then i don't really wear high heels, they were a real hit!! Pictures on profile smile

NumTum7 - your flowers are beautiful!!

I'm wearing gold glitter trainers.

We aren't having a top table either and we aren't even sitting with our parents/inlaws. They don't know yet. I think it might be best not to tell them and just let them see the seating plan on the day.

RedGreenRouge Mon 22-Oct-12 17:28:32

We're having a ceilidh too! My dad's side are very Scottish and will get very into it. My mum's side and dp's family are foreign so it should be interesting.

cookielove your dress is beautiful!

cookielove Mon 22-Oct-12 17:32:17

I really wanted a photo booth, but we really couldn't afford it so my sister offered to buy an album and using a camera took photo's of everyone who attend the day and then later the evening, she got them all to write a message on a index card, even the little kids, they mostly drew pictures smile she then put it all together for me (matching them all correctly) and then gave it to me a few days after the wedding. Bless her i totally adore it, and there is a great shot of my brother and my nephew which i would never have got if she hadn't done it.

OTheEldritchManateesOfMadness Mon 22-Oct-12 17:32:49

We didn't have a top table. No-one complained. Except DH, who got up during the meal to chat to people on other tables and returned to find they'd cleared his food away shock

cookielove Mon 22-Oct-12 17:33:07

Thank you Red, not the best shot of it though grin

cookielove Mon 22-Oct-12 17:39:46
RedGreenRouge Mon 22-Oct-12 17:45:54

It looks better with the converse grin!

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 17:54:40

Was the owl at your wedding?!

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 17:58:54

Think we will have a bit of a ceilidh, for half an hour or so. Not for the whole night though smile and will prob have Runrig - Loch Lomond at the end so I can have a patriotic stamp about grin

Cookie, love the dress smile

Gutted no one spotted the celeb! It was Kiefer Sutherland grin

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 18:00:38

Is a ceilidh just like a barn dance?

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 18:01:08

Oh, re names, not sure yet. My DS is not biologically OH's. And I'm currently a Ms. at work. Think we might just hyphenate. OH wasn't into it until he read about Joseph Gordon-Levitt's parents though hmm

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 18:01:46

Pru, it's Scottish country dancing. Canadian barn dance, gay gordons, Virginia reel etc....

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 18:02:11

You get to shout "Whoooooo-heuh!" a lot!

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 18:06:31

I used to love a bit of barn dance at the farmers balls when I were a lass.

I'm trying to book a band for early on at our evening reception but it's proving to be a bloody nightmare sad

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 18:07:37

They're so expensive sad

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 18:25:32

They are - my cousin's friend offered to play with her band, they're really good and I said I was happy to pay the full fee, not mates rates. We had a couple of emails back and forth over it a while back but she never replied to my last one, which was over a month ago now, so last week I sent her a really lighthearted 'Hi, are you still interested in playing as we're really excited about having you and we're starting to confirm timings for the day' kind of vibe and no reply.

So I got in touch with this local band on facebook, and after the initial couple of messages, I've now had no reply to the last one sent a week ago. Grr.

Inspired by Cookie I have put a pic of the Converse of wonder on my profile - it is very exciting to be able to share them with someone as I am so close to showing them to DP just to be able to squeal about them smile

Bands are soooo expensive - we so wanted one as we've got a bit of a festival theme going but none of the ones we like are less than a grand which seems so much! We've compromised with a DJ who normally does the festival circuit all summer so will hopefully be a bit cooler than the standard Grease Megamix and Build Me Up Buttercup...

Thistledew Mon 22-Oct-12 18:58:30

That sounds stressful Vivi. I can see why you are annoyed that she seems just to be warning you of potential problems rather than actively trying to avoid them.

It's stresses like that that made me decide to keep things simple- I am having a 'best woman' but no bridesmaids. A hen do will be an evening out with a meal and drinks in town.

I have to confess that I am only slowly getting into this wedding thing. I love going to parties but hate organising them myself. I find it too stressful and don't enjoy it much. I am starting to believe that we can pull off throwing a good event, but I am determined to keep it as simple and stress free as possible.

I was really pleased with how the invites turned out- I bought some cream coloured paper, envelopes and window cards, and pleasingly the most suitable ones I could find were 70% recycled. I used a photo I had taken that works well in black and white for a background and put the text of the invite over it. I printed out that image to go in the window of the cards and printed another page to be folded inside the card with the details of the day. A bit of raffia ribbon to tie it all together and they look great! I have enough for 80 invites, which cost me £50 in total.

We had to send the invites out early as we have family coming from abroad who wanted to get cheap flights booked.

<I have probably cross posted with lots- I started typing this on my phone at 10 this morning but didn't press send, and I have been out all day >

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 18:59:44

I didn't know you could get converse customised - they're fab! I've been eyeing up these for my flowergirls, I'm just concerned as we won't know what size to get until nearer the time and I doubt they'll still be available then...

Your DJ sounds like a good option, stan.

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 19:06:14

Thistle You invites sound great - what a bargain. I'm planning on making mine too.

Re bridesmaids and hen dos, that was originally what I wanted, I just had friend A as a 'best woman' as I wasn't interested in having bridesmaids, really, and thought no one would be that bothered about being one, my two best friends are male.

Then friend B was asking me about my bridesmaid plans and it was obvious she was dropping subtle hints so I thought oh why not, it would be nice for her and a giggle to have more of a group, so I asked her to be bridesmaid. Then I had a sudden fit of WTF am I doing when I realised that the one girl who is the most fun and best at planning stuff and who I see the most was the only one not a bridesmaid so I ended up asking her too and she was really thrilled. And I'm glad I did because the other two have been a bit disinterested all along really.

I'd love to do something low-key and local but it's not possible logistically.

EverythingInMjiniature Mon 22-Oct-12 19:15:24

ooh ooh ooooh a wedding quiche, and a MN one! No-one has said 'it's your special day, hun' and no '28 months since I became Mrs Bottomsnuggle and completed my life'

Thankyou tjobes, can I join? Getting married in July.

cookielove Mon 22-Oct-12 19:24:42

ViviPru - i got converse for the baby brides maids, will put a pick on my profile (my profile will probably collapse it's been so busy) we measured them in converse when we ordered the dresses (John Lewis) and then their mum got them closer to the day, i think a week or two before, the older (4) was right inbetween sizes annoying

And no the owl wasn't at my wedding, that would have been really cool, but i did take that shot, i was quite proud.

roughtyping - thanks, i wish i could put it back on now, although for a few weeks after i really couldn't bare to have it on. In fact on the wedding night i looked in the mirror and was telling myself to savour this moment, 3 sec's later i was shouting for DH to come take it off. My back hurt sooo much.

littlemisstan - i love them, i want them!!

cookie - love the dress

We had baby converse for DS2 (1.5) and Dnephew (3.1) which they wore with black trousers, white shirts and little gold waistcoats and ties.

Well, until DS2 had a meltdown 5 minutes before leaving for the church. So he ended up wearing his turqouise crocs grin

They look fab in the photos. I'll try and put one on my profile....

aufaniae Mon 22-Oct-12 20:05:39

"Is a ceilidh just like a barn dance?"

Barn dance = can be a bit naff and over-engineered IMO

A Ceilidh = traditional Scottish / Irish music with dances which anyone who went to school in Scotland / Ireland should have at least some idea of. If you're at a wedding actually in Scotland / Ireland, IME most people know them. You don't need to know the dances to join in IME, giving it a go is encouraged grin (and lots of fun).

cookielove Mon 22-Oct-12 20:07:13

catinwitchyboots - thank you smile

Def wanna see those photo's love converse, and crocs as it happens!!

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 20:10:55

Right I see. Sounds fun.

Looking forward to your pictures, cat smile

Those kids converse are awesome, that's my colour, wish they did adult sizes.

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 20:11:46

Cat your dress is immense! Is it Ian Stuart?

I want my hair down and surfy-curly like that too.

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 20:12:18

I know, AKiss, I have been looking for an adult version, I want them myself too!

RedGreenRouge Mon 22-Oct-12 20:13:18

Wow, cat. Impressive dress!

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 20:13:48

Haha! Cat is that your DS2 in that photo on the right in his crocs? Brilliant!

Toby: no we aren't from the Caribbean, we just fancied it. We are going to have some dance lessons.

I love your dress cat, I'm desperate to show mine to DP, I'm not good at keeping secrets.

Hiya everything, how far along are your plans?

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 20:19:46

Do you dare link to an image of it AKiss?

buryburybury Mon 22-Oct-12 20:39:15

I was absolutely dreading my wedding, I needed to mentally prepare myself.

We ended up doing exactly what we wanted with who we wanted and it was great.

memphis83 Mon 22-Oct-12 20:40:03

Wow cat amazing dress! My dress is so light, I have a hip problem so a big dress wasn't an option. But I am having converse but won't order them yet as I will wear them!
My dress is hanging i the spare room i a dress bag, dp would never look he doesn't get all excited like me so when I have said are you tempted he said no as it will ruin the wow factor.
The thing I love about the booth is the beards and stuff but the first time dp saw a picture of me I had a beard on so he thinks its significant!
I didn't want a bridesmaid but as everyone is getting on a bus an hour before I have to leave I realised I had no one to get me into my dress so had to ask a friend.

RedGreenRouge Mon 22-Oct-12 21:00:03

I have ended up with six bridespeople. 2 of them live abroad so aren't really involved in the planning but I really only care about them being with me on the day before and at the wedding.

DP is making her dress so it is a big surprise - she was hiding away for two hours last weekend doing the plans. I'm going to need an impressive dress to beat hers.

I've got 5 brideslaves and DP has his best man and 4 ushers.

I don't think I'll link to my dress but I'll put some pics up after the wedding.

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 21:31:00

I am having 4 bridesmaids - my sisters are 2 of them and they're driving me crazy already.

Not sure how DS will be involved - he'll be 10. Want to think of something nice. He wants to play the French horn, think he'll change his mind nearer the time smile

CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 21:33:03

<crash-lands into thread with a back jarring bump>

Hello! I've not read much of the thread apart from the first page.

I get married next Wednesday. On Halloween. It'll be our 21st anniversary of when we got together so it seemed the appropriate date to choose, back in April when we decided we had fannied about for l

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 21:37:23

How lovely that you're both wearing dresses, RGR. I've always thought that, had I married a woman, I'd have liked us both to wear dresses, rather than one of us wear a suit.

cat, your dress is amazing! There was one like that in the shop where I bought mine and my sister fell in love with it smile

cookie, yours is lovely too smile

aufaniae said what I was going to say about ceilidh bands. I went to school in Scotland and my mother is Irish. So it should be a laugh, if nothing else.

Mjin! Lovely to see you grin

This is my dress.
DD (11, MoH) has a 50s-style halterneck, white with a black skull pattern on it. She is insisting on wearing it with yellow patent DMs grin
My sisters are my BMs. They haven't chosen their dresses yet, but they have free rein to have whatever they like, in whatever colour they like. All the same, same dress/different colours, same colour/different dresses, all different... I don't care!
DS is walking down the aisle with me and will be wearing black trousers, a vintage waistcoat, a white shirt and a bow tie.

Everyone who wants them shall have Converse. I will have them for the reception (I have these until the dancing).

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 21:38:18

Oooh, Collie! Welcome grin You'll be surprised to know that you've overtaken me as 'soonest wedding'. How exciting! grin

CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 21:38:51

Gah! Hate this phone at times...

We had fannied about for long enough. Let's set a date & just do it.

We have 2 kids - DS(4) & DD(2) who will be walking me up the aisle. I like that it's our family coming together at the altar.

However, when we booked everything I didn't take into account that my SAD will have kicked in during the dark, wintery months. I feel a horrible mixture of stress, but meh-ness. And having PMT doesn't help.

I get married next Wednesday. Hold my hand? There are things I need to do still!

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 21:41:29

Tell us about it smile What kind of wedding are you having? What do you still have to do?

CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 21:48:54

A small do. Less than 30 at the ceremony itself, which will be at the (beautiful Victorian) local registry office. Photos in the local (again Victorian) park - think bandstands with autumnal trees in the background. Stunning backdrop! Lunch at our favourite Italian restaurant, then an evening do for about 85 guests, including 25 children!

We have a children's entertainer booked from the start of reception to when food is served. Adults can mingle, have a drink... Husband & I can catch up with all those we haven't seen in years. grin

Did I say the children will be in Halloween dress????

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 21:49:52

Sounds perfect, Collie grin

Thistledew Mon 22-Oct-12 21:53:10

I had the first fitting of my dress today. A family friend is a dressmaker, although he does not normally do bridal he has agreed to make my dress.

The dress from the waist down looked looked amazing- even though it was just a calico toile roughly stitched together. Unfortunately, the top half didn't work at all! The measurements he had take were right, the pattern was right, but it seems that my boobs are of a size that they generate their own gravitational field and warp the space-time continuum so that the measurements that should fit were way out! I will have to have a second fitting before he can start making the dress out of the actual fabric.

I have to say that I am pretty excited about the dress. I don't look at all good in white, and have no attachment to wearing a white wedding dress. Also, as this will probably be the one time I have a dress made to measure, I wanted to spend my money on something I will wear more than once.

My dressmaker asked me to come up with a basic design of what I want- the design I drew up is on my profile. He is then taking that design and adding more flair and drama. The fabric I have selected is darker than in my picture- it is a gorgeous dark gold/bronze satin. I am then adding a nod to the traditional wedding gown with the train in a light, cream coloured fabric. I have my fingers crossed it will look amazing - my very own couture gown!

CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 21:55:07

I still have to buy underwear for my bridal outfit. I need something to squish away a few folds of fat lines. I need to make my head piece thingy. I have the parts to do it, but not the fixative. Balloons. I need to buy balloons - 25 kids need balloons. For sure.

If a reception venue asks for a seating plan do they print the little cards? This is what DP expects. I disagree.

RedGreenRouge Mon 22-Oct-12 21:55:13

I love your dress, Toby. And it's so nice that your daughter is your maid of honour. We're not sure how we'll involve dd1 and dd2 (6 and 3), but dsd (16) will definitely have some involvement.

It was up to me to choose whether I went for a suit or dress (dp would never consider not wearing a dress for her wedding!) but I wanted to look conventionally beautiful for the ceremony.

Wednesday, Collie! How exciting!

Collie: have to tried a SAD lamp?

Toby: your dress is gorgeous, I love the Vivienne Westwood shoes too.

NumTum7 Mon 22-Oct-12 21:58:13

Loving all the dresses!! Will post mine to my profile when I'm on the computer tomorrow. Also jealous of the converse - wish I'd thought of that before mine envy

I had 4 bridesmaids and 4 pageboys who, apart from 1, are all under 8!! They just kind of tumbled down in the aisle in a noisy, cute, messy kind of way! But definitly better than lots of grown up bridesmaids etc bringing their drama grin

Collie loving the sound of a Halloween wedding - do you have a theme? It will all come together I'm sure


I got my undewear from here

CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 21:58:53

Am sat in front of my bl

CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 22:00:02

*blindingly bright SAD lamp. It really helps, but still feel quite down. That may be the additional stress of wedding though...

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 22:00:22

Toby those shoes are amazing! I love them! Where are they from?? Love the dress too.

Ooh Collie, exciting smile

NumTum7 Mon 22-Oct-12 22:03:09

X-post! It all sounds lovely, the stress of the wedding probably isn't helping - love the kids are wearing Halloween outfits smile

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 22:03:29

Collie just saw your post re name cards - I don't think they don't. Mine is a package and that's not included.

this is the dress I would like. But I'm 5'1 so don't think it will suit me. I've had one shot of trying on dresses and I felt so beautiful! Not something I'm used to. The dresses I tried on were £2k+ shock

CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 22:05:49

I think once my underwear is sorted I may feel better.

I had anxiety dreams about being stuck on a train in Russia with 15 minutes to go to my England wedding. They stopped once I bought the rings!

It will be great even if I don't get the final little details done. Our friends & family will be there. We have done all the legal things to get married, venues booked, rings... So what if balloons don't happen?!

Rough: there are some nice 50's ones here that are less than that.

HappyGirlNow Mon 22-Oct-12 22:09:40

Hi everyone! I'm getting married next August, very excited grin This is the dress I'd love. I've got an appointment to try it on in a few weeks - hopefully it'll suit me!
It's good fun planning eh? grin

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 22:15:18

I don't actually know where the shoes are from, rough. My mum bought them for me for my birthday. They come in all different colours though. If you google Vivienne Westwood Melissa, you'll see the colours and styles.

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 22:20:45

Tobey, fab dress. For some reason (I think all your blaséness about the wedding) I was expecting something much less wow factor.

This is mine I bought it the week I got engaged from TK Maxx for £129. I saw it online and thought 'whats to lose?' and when it came it was actually really nice. It doesn't actually have that weird uneven hem thing at the front. I bought it too sizes to small in March, and now it's actually starting to feel a bit big, so I might have to get it altered.

I went for fun to try some dresses on with my friends fully aware its a dangerous business and I might end up buying one, and I fell in love with Flo. She looks a bit net-curtainy in this pic but felt incredible on. She was too similar to TK Maxx to justify the £1300 pricetag, but I'm keeping my eye out for a sample or second and one.

RGR two of my friends both got married in big white gowns, it looked incredible.

Collie Welcome smile and re: the cards, I think it really would be up to you what happens with tableplans/placesettings. Just decide what you want then tell them, I doubt they'd print the cards, but best to check. I'm intrigued about this 'Halloween Dress'... Pumpkins? Witches?!!!!

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 22:22:24

Toby, great minds... I ordered the Vivienne Westwood Lady Dragon Pom Pom for the wedding but the 6 was too big and the 5 has now sold out sad

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 22:23:14

And that reminds me, my Mum will be wearing these...

ViviPru Mon 22-Oct-12 22:23:55

Gah not those, she'll be in THESE

CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 22:24:36

Am I allowed to be totally fucked off that up until 3 weeks ago I had a beautiful set of nails? They've all snapped, broken and had to be filed short. Even then my thumb has a crack half way down.

This pisses me off big style.

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 22:27:59

Ah all these dresses are fab! Thanks for the link, AKiss

CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 22:29:23

My table decorations are carved pumpkins smile Kids are going to be dressed as witches, cats, vampires. My DS is going to be a knight. At the cerem

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 22:29:43
CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 22:29:57

It's done it again!!!


CollieEyeOfNewt Mon 22-Oct-12 22:32:18

*ceremony too

His friends told him what they would be wearing at the reception. He choose a knight's outfit. I hadn't made it clear it was the reception only, but then again, how much wear would he get from a suit (aged 4) or a knight's costume. Hmm??

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 22:32:29

*Collie grin! ceremony?!

memphis83 Mon 22-Oct-12 22:35:28

vivi I love those shoes (both pairs) I will have converse for the evening but want heels for ceremony as I have a tendancy to stomp in flats I think I need these shoes but don't dare search for the price!

roughtyping Mon 22-Oct-12 22:38:24

ooh right I need to stop, off to bed now!

They've got some Vivienne Westwood shoes in the sale here

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 22:45:57

I almost bought the silver ones with red wings, Vivi grin

The dress was the first one I tried on in the first shop I went into. It was ridiculously reduced. DP will love it because it's all boobs and waist. I'm indifferent to it, tbh. I'm no good at this!

TK Maxx and Flo are indeed similar, and IMO Flo is not worth 10 times the price of TK. Both gorgeous, though smile

You are absolutely allowed to be missed off about the nails, Collie!

TobyLerone Mon 22-Oct-12 22:46:27

*pissed off! Now my phone's at it!

Thistledew Mon 22-Oct-12 22:50:57

Can I ask a favour of everyone? I need to find bronze or dark gold coloured high-heeled sandals or a lightweight shoe. I am struggling at the moment to find something matching that description. If you see anything, can you let me know? Thanks thanks

I'm a size 6.

aufaniae Mon 22-Oct-12 22:54:34

Is it OK to say I don't want a traditional wedding dress?

I think they're absolutely beautiful, but just not me.

I plan to get married in something (hopefully!) stunning but colourful and not from a bridal range at all. I'd love to start trying things on now, but as I'm upduffed and no idea when we're getting married or what size I'll be then there's not much point yet! Have been looking online at some stuff though.

I'll have 5 bridesmaids but there won't be a dress code as such, I'll give them all a contribution towards buying their own dress - whatever they like - and then arrange for their hair to be styled with the same flowers on the day. One of my best friends did exactly this at her wedding and it worked well. I'm shamelessly nicking the idea!

What's your budget? jimmy choos?

buryburybury Mon 22-Oct-12 22:59:37

aufaniae - I didn't have a traditional wedding dress. I wore a Tony Bowls evening gown.

aufaniae Mon 22-Oct-12 23:16:51

buryburybury wow! Just googled Tony Bowls, lots of amazing dresses, I bet you looked stunning smile What was yours like?

Not sure if I have the figure for most of them though. I am <ahem> pretty fat curvy these days.

I like this one and this one

OTheEldritchManateesOfMadness Mon 22-Oct-12 23:26:26

Thistle - depending on your budget have you looked at the Rainbow Club shoe dyeing service at John Lewis? Basically you either give them a swatch, or if it's a two-tone/shot fabric you pick a cotton reel in the colour that best matches the shade you want, then send it off with the shoes to the workshop and they come back dyed. I got my wedding shoes from there, and they came back an absolutely perfect match for the impossible-to-match shade of smokey grey I wanted. It cost me about £120, I think, and they have loads of styles to suit most tastes unless you're TobyLerone and want mad shoes wink

TobyLerone Tue 23-Oct-12 01:47:10

Wow, that purple dress is amazing, and would look great on someone curvy!

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 10:51:40

I just want some low-to-mid-height, soft leather or suede pale blue/aqua peep-toe shoes exactly like these but I can't find them anywhere sad

Are these too high??

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 11:18:07

Oh my ears and whiskers yes, waaaaay too high. I'm a proper heel wuss, the Vivi shoes are about as high as I could possibly manage. But thank you, any other suggestions are very welcome. They need to be a pale aqua ideally...

Here's my Pinterest - there are a few shoe ideas on there....

Oh, shoes... I have three pairs! Pink peeptoes with a big bow for ceremony, aforementioned Converse and bright pink shiny wellies because a) they are awesome, b) our reception is in a barn in the New Forest with a bit of a festival vibe, and c) I am a little bit obsessed with having a photo like this:

Vivi do you like these? They are a bargain at the mo!

Oh my god!!

Have any of you seen these?

I love them. I wish I'd seen them before!

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 12:24:23

Thanks stan, perfect colour, but a bit too ladylike for me (I'm not very dainty)

These are my wedding wellies. My mum's making me a pair of these in ivory to wear under.

Is your barn online, stan? We're having the ceremony and evening reception in a barn, but I can't link to it as it is literally just a barn, on a farm....

And these are mine smile

It's the events bit of this pub - converted barn and marquee - the pictures aren't brilliant though!

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 12:37:45

That looks like exactly the kind of thing we wanted but couldn't find locally. I think I've seen it on a couple of wedding blogs, actually. Have you seen these photos?

Ooh, those ones are new! Thanks Vivi, am off work ill so can now sit in bed and perv over the pics smile Our ceremony is at the same town hall too, but a different room. And it's nearly the same date!

IslaMann Tue 23-Oct-12 12:53:21

Helllooooo! Late comer to the thread. Im getting married next April, most things are booked, just flowers to sort out really. But Im worried about my dress now. I bought it from a plus size shop (am curvy), and its a couple of sizes too big. Am trying to tone up so am hitting the gym, so hopefully will lose some weight. But I spoke to the dress maker yesterday, to book in a fitting. I explained that its a couple of sizes too big already and am hoping to lose more, and she said it might be difficult to take it in that much! But I love it so much and cant afford to buy another dress. Any of you care to take a look and see if you think it should be able to be taken in? love my dress

Hmmm. The lacy detail on the bodice might make it tricky. I'd check with amother dressmaker though.

Does the detail go all the way around the back???

Toby - did I read upthread that you're in Kent?

So am I. We had our reception here which is about 5 minutes from our church, which is about 2 minutes from our house!

ReginaGeorge Tue 23-Oct-12 13:17:31

Hello. Can I join in please? I'm getting married a week on Friday and nobody knows!!!!! We only got engaged three weeks ago and have decided to elope while we are on holiday in Las Vegas next week. So excited.

We have booked a private members club in the city centre for a celebration three weeks after we get back, and we are going to post the invitations the day we fly out. That will be the first anybody knows about it. Eek!

IslaMann Tue 23-Oct-12 13:25:55

Regina how exciting, a secret wedding is awesome
Cat yes but I was assuming she'd just be able to unpick the side seams.... oh god, worried now....

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 13:26:54

cat that place looks incredible. There are so many fabulous offbeat venues in Kent, I'm very envious, we're really starved for choice in Leicestershire.

Isla it looks quite unstructured, so other than the embellishment on the bodice (as cat pointed out) it might be ok...

Regina how exciting! How do you think your nearest and dearest are going to take it?

ReginaGeorge Tue 23-Oct-12 13:41:30

It will be a mixed bag I suspect.

DP's mother will be absolutely livid I imagine as she is a total control freak and can be very over-bearing.

My own mum is a difficult one. She told me when i got engaged that she wouldn't attend any wedding I had unless I invited my dad who I haven't spoken to in seventeen years. A long complicated situation. It has cast a bit of a shadow over the whole thing to be honest, but I'm trying my hardest not to let it ruin things for me. Families huh - don't ya just love 'em?

Everybody else will think its amazing. smile

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 13:57:52

They'll get over it. One of my best friends is having a relatively big wedding with 'all the trimmings' (hate that phrase but it's apt) and confessed last week that what with one thing and another with family issues, they're starting to get why some people just up and do the Vegas thing and that it's becoming more and more attractive an option.

Friends of friends just eloped last month, didn't tell a soul and the first anyone knew of it was a photo on facebook!!

ReginaGeorge Tue 23-Oct-12 14:12:12

I sure can empathise with your friend. DP has major issues on his side too as his mum and dad went through a particularly nasty divorce and cannot stand to be anywhere near each other.

I could have done without the whole reception type thing, and would just have been happy with Vegas, but DP feels that we should, and have every right to celebrate our wedding with those we love. And I know he is right. I guess we just have to try and detach from any bad feeling on any one else's part. Selfish as that sounds.

Sounds exciting though Regina!

You lot have given me proper wedding fever.

To put the icing on the cake I just found out that the new Ian Stuart collection has been released today.


Now I need to go and do some work.

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 14:18:23

Was I right cat? Was your dress Ian Stuart?

TobyLerone Tue 23-Oct-12 14:19:39

Oooh, cat! That looks gorgeous. It's exactly what we wanted first off. Our original plan was Camden Town Hall with about 20 people (just immediate family and a couple of very close friends), picnic in Regents Park, get changed, pub dinner. Then a couple of days later we wanted to hire a big field, preferably with camping, where we could have a marquee and a huge party for everyone we know.
But then, when we got engaged, we decided to get the wedding out of the way ASAP because we want to do some house renovations, move and have a baby, all next year shock. So we had to forget the original plan due to weather constraints, and go with a cosy, indoor thing, all on the same day.

And yes, I am in Kent smile

Hi Isla smile Lovely dress! I reckon you could have that taken in.

Regina! How exciting! I've always fancied a Vegas wedding. DP and I mentioned it a dreamy, "why don't we just do that?" way just the other night.

ReginaGeorge Tue 23-Oct-12 14:25:59

Thanks Cat. And I too have succumbed to wedding fever after previously thinking of myself as the anti-bride. smile

I have loved reading this thread. All your enthusiasm is catching!

TobyLerone Tue 23-Oct-12 14:26:33

Oh my! This is gorgeous!

And this. And this. And this.

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 14:28:49

Oh Toby did you have to?! Sapphire is right up my street... grin

Yep I was an IS bride

I think this is my favourite for 2013

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 14:49:20

Yes that one caught my eye too.

I loved this and this from 2012

this was the short version of my dress. I would have loved it for the evening party if I could have afforded it

Right I'm really off now grin

But if anyone needs help finding/soucing anything I'd be more than willing to lend a hand. My work is very boring quiet at the moment.

Vivi - my shoe quest for you is far from over..........



ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 15:09:17

Yay thanks cat. I tried these Choos on, completely the wrong colour but perfect shape and style. I didn't love them enough to spank that kind of cash though. I have these as a back up plan in case I can't find any aqua ones. Not very pretty, but practical and inoffensive and I could try and find an aqua shoe clip for them...

[[ too pearly?]

to high??

too round?

First link again

too pearly?

Lots of pretty shoe clips here

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 16:45:18

Thanks - I'm a fussy sod aren't I... Those Dune ones are the closest - I think I might actually have them on my pinterest a bit too deep in colour though. Ideally want peeptoe and in an ideal world a low wedge, a large part of the wedding will be on grass... but I'd love them to be pale aqua....

Lots of nice shoe clips on etsy there, I think if I end up sticking with my Alfani shoes I might get these

ViviPru Tue 23-Oct-12 16:50:42
cookielove Tue 23-Oct-12 19:28:14

Wow, i love all your dresses sooo pretty. You go to work for a day and the thread just flys by smile

cookielove Tue 23-Oct-12 20:00:45

As everyone else is sharing their dresses I'll share mine. The site it's on doesn't let you link to individual dresses but it's W986 (scroll forwards 4 times and it's the third one down) here It's weird because when I look at it online I don't love it but when I put it on it just looked amazing. I'm not normally very feminine so DP is going to get a surprise. W998 was the one I thought I was going to have from looking online and when I tried it on I looked like a sack of shit in it.

these are my shoes. After seeing all the cool converse I think I may have overspent a bit!

How about these Vivi?

or these are cool.

buryburybury Tue 23-Oct-12 20:36:09

Oh I love looking at these beautiful dresses.

This was my Tony Bowls dress except mine was red.

and these were my shoes

cookielove Tue 23-Oct-12 20:43:06
cookielove Tue 23-Oct-12 20:43:45
cookielove Tue 23-Oct-12 20:47:05

That dress is lovely Akiss, assuming i am looking at the right one, high neckline all sparkly?

With the heart -shaped booby bit? Yeah that's the one. Thanks, it's so unlike me I still can't believe it's mine.

Thistledew Tue 23-Oct-12 20:51:32

Thanks AKissIsNotAContract and OTheEldritchManateesOfMadness.

I am hoping to spend no more than around £100.

I have seen these and these but don't really love either. The second ones are not available in the 6, so I would have to gamble that the 5 would be ok (I do sometimes wear 5), and I now see that the first ones are no longer in stock!

I would quite like something strappy like these, but I haven't seen many shoes in white in a style that I like, and also don't know how well a dye would take on a strap, rather than a shoe.

Are these any good thisle?

roughtyping Tue 23-Oct-12 21:02:56

AKiss - love that dress, it's beautiful smile


AKIss- that is bloody stunning

smile who is watching Don't tell the bride right now?


I never miss it!!!


Thistledew Tue 23-Oct-12 21:15:47

Not really, Kiss, but thanks for the suggestion. I want a heel, rather than a wedge, and the colour needs to be darker. Out of the two I linked to, the second one is the best match, colour wise. A metallic bronze would work well, or a dark gold.

I probably need to step away from this thread wink

I'm stomping over all your wedding excitement with my own-washed-up-wedding-obsessiveness grin

If you need me, I'll be here.

Sat at the table in my wedding dress.

<Miss Havisham>

<but a married version>

Stay cat, we need your wisdom. I've just looked at the pics on your profile. Did you start a thread before your wedding about having worries about your dress? The dress looks similar to the one from that thread?

you looked gorgeous BTW.

TobyLerone Tue 23-Oct-12 21:22:09

Lovely dress, AKiss smile

cat, stay! It's great having you here grin

Yes! That was me! I had major dress panic 2 weeks before! But everyone on here was lovely and told me their stories of dress-fear grin

Oh ok then

<twisted arm>

Tell me about what you're all doing for bridesmaids? Who? What are they wearing? Little or big? Are they helping??

5 grown ups for me. Definitely this colour, probably this dress too

TobyLerone Tue 23-Oct-12 21:28:32

How about these, Thistle?

That is gorgeous! Will it suit all of them? It looks very flattering

I don't know if it will suit them all, but as one of my BM is pregnant and will have a 6MO at the time of the wedding, and the rest are all size 10-14 with a bit of tummy I thought it would be a good shape. Plus I hope it will complement mine nicely. I suppose you don't really know that for sure until you're all getting ready on the morning of the wedding.

That's one of the bits I'm really looking forward to, getting ready with my closest friends.

Thistledew Tue 23-Oct-12 21:38:43

They are close, Toby, but I am not keen on faux (or real!) snakeskin.

buryburybury Tue 23-Oct-12 21:46:47

I think those bridesmaids dresses will look great with your dress. Took me a while to find yours ! smile

buryburybury Tue 23-Oct-12 21:47:40

.... akissisnot

Thistledew Tue 23-Oct-12 22:06:47

Vivi - a bit off piste, but how about these ?

Thistledew Tue 23-Oct-12 22:10:10

Too blue rather than aqua?

roughtyping Tue 23-Oct-12 22:10:37

4 BMs - 2 sisters, 2 friends. And a flower girl.... No idea what they'll all wear yet. Still far away!

Three grown up bridesmaids for me, hopefully wearing navy, and would love to cajole them into 50s circle dresses as that's what mine will be like too (am having it made which makes me feel so very important!) And my 7 year old niece who can pick what she wants as she'll be the only little one.

Thistledew Tue 23-Oct-12 22:35:18

Another suggestion for Vivi.

Thistledew Tue 23-Oct-12 22:38:11
memphis83 Tue 23-Oct-12 23:16:39

I am having a flower girl who will be 3 her dress has same skirt as mine, a page boy (my ds) 3 in tweed grey waistcoat and trousers with converse. Then one bridesmaid in navy not sure what sort of dress yet she is tall so flats are a must. And my best friend who is a man so wearing what groom and bm will wear, a grey slim fit suit.
I plan on going out for breakfast and then going to venue to see it before its filled with guests. My bridesmaids job is to get me home in time to throw my dress on and do my hair!
I am more interested in an amazing head band and shoes. i have converse picked for the evening as I cannot wear heels for long but shoes for day are a struggle. i want navy, small heel the madder the better I love the Westwood ones with skull bows but they don't come in navy, most unusual shoes have a huge heel.

RedGreenRouge Tue 23-Oct-12 23:29:55

I'm useless to you all as I only really wear heels when going out. Sorry!

I've asked six people so far to be my bridesmaid - my best friend (male), four good friends and my brother's wife. Dsd will be flower girl, possibly with a few nieces.

My friend asked yesterday why I wasn't asking my two sisters. I am quite close with both but I had always thought that bridesmaids were usually friends, not relatives. Is it usual to ask sisters - I don't want to upset them?

Memphis. I know irregular choice are unpopular on MN but I still love them. How about these?

EverythingInMjiniature Wed 24-Oct-12 06:27:52

I'm also a Kent bride! How many of us on one thread? We are getting married here

Will link to my dress when on computer but it's Sassi holford, I thought I wasn't a fan of Ian Stuart but love love love those ones from the new collection and cat's (btw you are stunning!)

Your dress is beautiful tjobes grin that you found it so quick, and lovely to see you again too.

I have 4 big bridesmaids two v tall, two about my height. All hourglass figures going from size 8-12. If anyone wants to look for floor length royal blue dresses with me. Am leaning towards dessy after six 6646 but they are super pricy confused

buryburybury Wed 24-Oct-12 06:53:12

RGR - I am all in favour of doing what you want but imo it is usual to ask your sisters.

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 07:29:52

All of my bms are my sisters, except MoH, which is DD.

Mjin, I have an idea for you. Will post later when on laptop.

Everything - that venue is gorgeous. It's just down the road from me!

When are you getting married.

My bridesmaids had Dessy dresses. I picked the colour and they all picked a style they wanted! I had four adults - DSis and 3 friends.

Two of them went for long and two for short. Also two were satin and two were chiffon. They looked gorgeous. And luckily I managed to get two of the dresses on eBay for £50 each. The other two were from the bridal shop and cost a lot more. I was also pissed off that the bridal shop charged me a fortune for alterations (think nearly £300 for two dresses)

The two I bought on eBay I took to a little old lady in my village and she charged me £50 to alter the pair!!!

Mjin have you looked at forherandforhim? I was going for dessy too until vivi recommended them.

Weddington way also have a lot of choice but they seem a bit more pricey.

EverythingInMjiniature Wed 24-Oct-12 08:43:00

Oooh, no I hadn't thanks akiss some of those dresses are gorgeous! I love the one you have picked, think all of us would prefer short bmaid dresses but DP is only 5'8'' and the girls are tall so we decided on long dresses with flats smile

That is a good point about ebay cat, and yeah that was why I was thinking of dessy, to allow some freedom of choice. Interesting yours mixed fabrics, did the colours look right together, I wasn't sure if they would?

I am very envious of you all with the little bridesmaids!

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 09:25:41

Mjin, this comes in what looks like a lovely blue. And it's a bargain! Their feedback is a bit iffy occasionally, so I'd order as far in advance as possible in case it's crap grin

This can also be ordered made to measure (I have a tall BM, too) and in loads of colours. This is the one I might well go with. There are loads on eBay -- it's just whether it's worth the risk on the quality.

Your venue is gorgeous! Exactly the sort of place we were looking at. We're getting married here. Not the best photos on the website, but it looks like this inside.

It looked fine! I'll try and put a pic up of them.

Tobes that venue looks perfect! Really pretty!

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 09:36:36

Massive thanks to everyone helping me on my shoe hunt. You are all brilliant. Sadly most of the suggestions are just too high. The Vivi Melissa shoes are higher than I could usually go but I could just about manage them because they have the squidgeyest most comfortable soles. They HAVE to be pale aqua too, that's the main thing, or I may as well just wear the Alfani back up pair I already have. Weirdly, Thistle's gladiator wedges are probably the closest - right colour, right height.

I wasn't going to have any bridesmaids at all, but have ended up with 3 adults, and I had a result when I managed to get hold of this dress from Warehouse for £28 in the sale. It was touch and go getting enough of each size for the girls to all try on and sending them back and forth around the country was a bit of a pain, but we got there in the end. It was quite amusing when I met up with one of them at Coed Llandegla MTB trail, and she was trying dresses on in the bike shop before we went out for a ride....

I've also somehow ended up with 3 flower girls, my niece (8) DP's goddaughter (4) and my BF's DD (2) who will all be wearing this - bargain. I do a lot of work for F&F so it's a bit of a nod to my day job too. I plan to take off the little bow at the waist and put it on a headband for them and I have one of these too to tie them into the aqua theme.
If anyone has any suggestions for things for flowergirls to do/carry they would be welcome, I'm thinking I might have the eldest one handing round chocolates as people arrive, and along with the middle one blowing bubbles, and handing out bottles of bubbles... while I think the 2y/o might have a ribbon on a stick to wave about....

My two best friends are male, I asked them to be my bridesmen/ushers and they named themselves the Brushers. They're wearing their own charcoal suits and an aqua tie I've bought them, as are the best man, DP's and my Dads, and our friend who we've asked to be the Master of Ceremonies.

Finally, if that wasn't enough aqua and ivory, I got my Mum this and this, she's a petite sz8 and if anyone's going to upstage the bride with how amazing they look, it's her.

AKiss - Incredible dress!!!!!

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 09:51:04

Tobes that venue looks potentially amazing! Have you seen the photos of it here? And the fairy lights look brilliant in one of the photos here.

Are you having your ceremony in it too?

This village hall near us was my back-up plan in case we couldn't get the farm. Nowhere near as pretty as yours inside though.

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 09:51:35

My bridesmaids are my sisters (33, 26, 24). They will be wearing whatever they like -- I'll buy their dresses and they can choose between them whether they want the same dress in the same or different colours, the same colour and different dresses, or completely different dresses from each other in whatever colours they want. They won't be having flowers. I will buy them Converse if they want them, or they can wear their own choice of shoes.

DD (11) is my MoH and she will be wearing this. She has some lovely little bright coral heels to wear for the ceremony, and then yellow patent DMs for the rest of the day.

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 09:53:38

Those photos are lovely smile We're staying in the Woolpack overnight along with a load of our guests.

Yes, we're having the ceremony there too. We were pretty lucky to get it -- it was so hard to find somewhere we could do whatever we want with as far as catering and bringing our own alcohol goes.

EverythingInMjiniature Wed 24-Oct-12 09:55:13

WOW that MOTB dress is gorgeous! Could flower girls have baskets of confetti to hand round? Love the bubbles idea.

That first link is just the right blue tjobes, thankyou. Second link looks good and loads of positive feedback, but yeah the risk of spending all that money on things you haven't seen...

I can't believe how beautiful that village hall is, mine is a boring brick post-war thing (where I got absolutely hammered at my 18th grin). We picked our venue in the pouring rain in January, was so happy when I went to visit it this July, the gardens are stunning.

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 09:55:44

The small room where they had their ceremony, though, is not where we're having ours. We're having the whole thing in the large hall with the wooden floor, because it's prettier and because it would fit everyone in it. We didn't want separate daytime/evening guests.

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 10:01:54

Oh, and re the bubbles -- they look cute, but just bear in mind that the little BMs will spill the bubble mixture down themselves grin

The first time I got married, my BMs had red dresses and bubbles. They have big dark patches down their dresses in loads of the photos because they spilled the bubble stuff down themselves practically as soon as they opened them!

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 10:04:29

Ah yes Toby that will have far more impact in the big room.

That was our venue criteria too - We didn't want to be tied into food and drink packages and grim curtains and carpets.

All of the following info is top secret... but I will gladly share with you my fellow wedding quichers. The barn on the right is where we are having our ceremony/evening party and the courtyard in the middle will be festooned with twinkly lights overhead, and will be decked out with chairs and tables and rattan furniture. If the weather is good we'll have the band playing here between the dinner and the first dance in the barn. (If they every reply to me) We'll have the firepit there for toasting marshmallows later. The building on the left is a stable we can use instead if the weather is bad.

Here is the field next to the barn where we're putting the marquee for the meal, and hopefully if the weather is good, a few games, maybe a bouncy castle and the event bar during the day. This photo was taken on a particularly grim day, so I'm hoping it will be a bit prettier come May when all the leaves are on the trees! As you said, Everything - a bit of foliage makes all the difference...

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 10:05:44

Excellent tip about the bubbles - although pre-empting dresses-getting-anihillated was one of the reasons I went for £18 Tesco jobbies instead of the £55 Monsoon beauties I originally coveted!

EverythingInMjiniature Wed 24-Oct-12 10:06:12

yy tjobes, no corkage charge was DPs only criteria! We are going over to majestic in Calais I think, and some local beer.

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 10:09:03

Everything it's worth signing up to Tesco Wine by the Case email newsletter for heads ups about ridiculous offers. Our red worked out to be something nuts like under £3 bottle for a pretty decent wine once all the various discounts were applied, likewise the Prosecco. Cheaper than a France run.

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 10:11:22

P.s. love your DDs dress Toby

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 10:12:31

YY Tesco Wine. We got 144 bottles of wine (red, white, Prosecco) for about £600. Average cost just over £4 each. And they deliver it to your door, for free.

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 10:13:26

The hardest part is walking past it every day and not drinking it

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 10:14:27

In fact, I've had to make DP put the sauvignon blanc stash on the top shelf in the garage where I can't reach.

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 10:17:08

grin We've had to test a bottle of each, obv apart from the rosé, which is the work of the devil. I think we might have to pick up a few spares when the Christmas offers come out, just in case we've 'tested' too many grin

EverythingInMjiniature Wed 24-Oct-12 10:18:43

£3? Win!

Forget I was going to do a pic of my dress Zara in the couture collection but with a different sash and the lace of Ellie Is the closest, although I'm actually having the Zara in signature collection with adaptations cos it's about half the price!

EverythingInMjiniature Wed 24-Oct-12 10:19:50

Mine will be staying at my parents so will have to keep a close eye on them!

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 10:23:10

Sassi Holford's site won't load more than 45% for me sad

What are you ladies doing with your heads? wink
Veils? Tiaras? Flowers? What hair?

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 10:44:45

I was going to say Everything, wow Sassi Holford Couture - Mega spends, but I bet the signature collection is still pretty big bucks...

This is my hair muse photo. I have this to pin back the front section. You?

EverythingInMjiniature Wed 24-Oct-12 10:46:38

My best man's wife has lent me her veil as my something borrowed but it's really scrunched up, have no idea where to get it pressed. It's a cathedral length veil with swarovski crystals, looks beautiful in her wedding pics.

Thinking of a loose, low updo, and have booked tomorrow to have hair dyed back to natural brunette in preparation, bit nervous!

What are you all doing for make up, yourself of make up artist?

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 10:49:16

This is how I'm having my hair. No veil. I'm looking for a suitable side-tiara, but can't find one I like which isn't £££.

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 10:50:01

My hairdresser has offered to do my make-up, too. Having a trial in December.

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 10:54:38

That's pretty similar to my hair idea Toby, loose unstructured waves. I had a consultation with the hairstylist and she said she thinks it will work much better if I have a layer cut into my beautifully one-length no-layered hair that's taken me years to achieve so I'm reluctantly going for it. Gulp.

I'm crap at doing my makeup and hardly ever wear it so am going all out and splashing out on eyelash infills and an airbrush makeup artist.

That veil sounds incredible, Everything

EverythingInMjiniature Wed 24-Oct-12 10:57:30
ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 10:58:36

Very pretty

EverythingInMjiniature Wed 24-Oct-12 11:00:04

How soon before the wedding are you going to get the layers cut Vivi?

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 11:02:53

My hairdresser also suggested I get layers. I refused grin I'm sure she's right, but it's only a day. If the style I like doesn't work, I'll have her put it up or whatever. I'm really not fussed!

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 11:02:57

Some of these side tiaras are relatively reasonable Toby, that's where I got my comb and the service was very good.

I'm still doing my best to get over this one - at £195 it's Just Not Happening. Gorgeous though, and my most repinned-ever pinterest pin - 86 repins! shock

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 11:03:51

Can you ask at a dry-cleaners, or even a bridal shop, Mjin? I'm sure they'll know how to get the creases out.

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 11:05:40

I like this one, but it's waaaaaay more than I wanted to spend. Under £50 would be preferable <cheapskate>

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 11:06:16

It will be cut in at the trial, so around 1-2 months before. She promised me she'll only do one layer, and it will be only slightly shorter than the length that my hair is now, assuming that the main length will have grown a couple of inches by then (which it will - grows quickly). And when if I hate it after the wedding, I can get it all cut back to that one length again.

In theory. <Gulp>

Can I just say I am loving having a whole new group of people to bore rigid discuss wedding stuff with?

Great minds Vivi - I too covet a gorgeous John Lewis flower girl dress, but can't bring myself to spend £60 on a six year old, so I think she'll end up in this - with some pink Converse I hope!

Hair is one of my woes - I have very short, Twiggy-in-the-60s style hair. Everyone's first question when we got engaged was 'will you grow it' - um, no, I look dreadful with long hair and DP met and proposed to the boy cut so it is staying! But it's making me sad that there is very little I can do with it, and pretty clips and combs are out as it's also super straight and they slide right out. Mind you, it is saving me ££ on a hairdresser!

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 11:26:40

Have a side tiara, stan! My hair is long, but fine, and clips and combs are often too heavy for it, or slide out. Or they do that thing where they catch one hair too tight and it makes me want to rip them out and stamp on them.

You need to get the veil steamed!!!!

My hair is short too. I have a side tiara and a veil. I got a bit carried away in the shop because I'd never seen myself looking so girly and there I was prancing around in MY dress with a side tiara and a veil! I'm lucky my mum bought all that for me. She was expecting my dress to cost more, good old mum.

One of my BM does wedding make up so she'll do all the make up as my wedding present. I'm not sure whether to get someone to do the BMs hair, not having long hair myself I don't know what to do for the best.

We looked at barns but couldn't afford them, they are very expensive in sussex (4k just for the empty barn). So we are having our receptionhere and our ceremony is here

We can provide our own booze for St mary's, so we bought it on the Tesco deal that was talked about on here. We've got a coach for everyone to get from one place to the next to make it easier for the guests.

So everything is done for me except vows and flowers.

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 12:17:47

Lucky with the make-up. Have you got any ideas for your flowers, AKiss?

I haven't a clue. That's where MIL to be comes into the planning. I'm thinking a contrasting colour to the Tiffany blue for me and then white for the BM. I like this and also this but I have no clue about what will be in season and what will match with everything else. My knowledge of flowers is extremely limited.

Do you know what flowers you are having vivi?

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 12:42:03

I like the plummy colours, should be a few varieties about in September.

We were originally planning on getting married in April, and I would have daffodils as they're my favourite flowers, being a spring baby. But we moved it to May so I've chosen some narcissus varieties that flower then. There's a bit of a pale yellow theme: Earlicheer Narcissus and Rose of May Narcissus, both being grown my Mum and
MiL. They've also got a load of bulbs to grow some Aqua coloured Muscari and MiL has planted a load of lily of the valley. I'll probably pad it all out with some gypsophila and hope to get hold of a load of billy buttons too.

Mil has offered to do my bouquet. I'm a bit worried though as she's started to make a bit of a song and dance about her role of 'doing the flowers', turning it into far more of a stress than it needs to be. I just want some flowers grown then we can snip them all and chuck them in jars padded out with extra blooms from the wholesalers, but she's started to panic about arrangements and potting up and equipment needed confused

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 12:44:38

BMs will have simple gypsophila bouquet pretty, but cheap & easy. Could be an idea for yours?

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 12:56:07

AKiss, this site is quite useful for finding out what's in season.

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 12:58:57

Ah thanks for posting that Toby - I was trying to remember where I'd seen it....

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 13:01:38

Have you started collecting your bottles, jugs and jars, Toby?

I have an actual tonne of jam jars... In fact so many that I am going to make chilli jam for people's Christmas presents to use some up! I am having sunflowers and bright pink gerbera that match my shoes! With rosemary in too for the smell and the fact I love cooking smile Mini sunflower corsages for the bridesmaids, and a pink gerbera posy for the little one. Sunflower centrepieces in cream enamel jugs. Sadly DP has vetoed having a mini sunflower buttonhole due to clown looky-likey fears, but he has chosen billy buttons instead so still nice and yellow.

The trouble is I have genuine itchy aversion to sparkly stuff, and all the side tiaras are a bit too much... My dress is 50s style, polka dot tulle skirt to just below my knee. I am currently thinking birdcage veil then some sort of headband for the reception, with an ivory flower or bow - what do you reckon?

akiss so jealous of your make up friend, none of mine are nearly as useful smile I was bridesmaid last year and she paid for make up for us all, it was genuinely the best I have EVER looked (even my Dad said so) so I really want to do the same, but it's a bit spendy!

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 13:11:16

Yep, I've got millions of bottles, quite a few jars, loads of mismatching charity shop jugs smile

YY birdcage veil! I would love one, but it wouldn't go with my dress sad

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 13:20:30

Yep deffo birdcage veil with a bow headband - would look perfect with your style, stan. Cute.

Did you see that DTTB when the bride's sister was getting married after and the only thing she was fussed about was that the bride didn't have the same hot pink gerberas, and surprise surprise that's what the groom chose.

I want to try and get hold a load of Bombay Sapphire bottles for our flowers but I don't think I'll get through 12 bottles by May... I might put a plea out on _chat

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 13:24:36

I have one Bombay Sapphire bottle but I've sprayed it with blackboard paint sad

This birdcage veil with the feather is cute.

Yes, I saw that DTTB! I watched it like shock that anyone could care that much about flowers!

littlemiss: I would say pay for the make-up. Everyone will be looking at you, your face will be in nearly all the photos. There must be an area you can scrimp on instead (for me it would be cake - who eats the wedding cake anyway?)

Thanks for that link, I've never heard of most of those flowers, I'll see what MIL2B thinks.

TobyLerone Wed 24-Oct-12 13:36:52

Watching last night's DTTB. It's only just started and I'm sure it'll turn out fine in the end, but WHY ON EARTH is this woman letting this man organise a wedding?! He seems a bit feckless.

I'd let DP do it like a shot, but that's because he's half gay and would care a lot more than me make something AMAZING.

ViviPru Wed 24-Oct-12 13:39:41

I trust DP to do something amazing, but he'd try and leave EVERYTHING to the dY before and would probably give himself a heart attack with the last-minute-stress of it all.