Modern Hen & Stag celebrations and their cost

[IHeartHoumous]

Wondered if I could do a quick census on what type of Hen/Stag celebrations people have gone on in the past few years? I’m in late 20s, not married and have been on two Hen do’s and have one coming up soon. My partner has been on four Stag do’s in the past year.

On average they cost us between £300-£500 each – this includes travel, accommodation, chipping into cover the Bride/Groom to be’s place and spending money. They’ve all been either one or two night stays in Brighton x 2, Dublin, Edinburgh, Bath and Bristol.

My older friends, family and work colleagues think it’s ludicrous that attending the Hen/Stag costs almost as much as attending the Wedding and “in their day” it was a drink in the local pub. Given mine and my partner’s age I know the next couple of years are going to be Hen/Stag/Wedding invite central! It is a lot of money to spend especially when you consider for the Wedding itself the majority of attendees give a present, get some or all of a new outfit, book transport/accommodation, hair done etc but I guess it’s quite typical these days!

Also a lot of women I know also have a ‘Home Hen’ where they either go to a restaurant locally or have a party at home and also invite female relatives/relatives to be i.e. mum, MIL, Grandmothers etc – which friends who went to the ‘Away Hen’ are also invited to attend.

Interested to know what others have had/been on!

[FellOutOfBed2wice]

I know this happens and see evidence of it on Facebook with a lot of girls I went to school with- but none of my close circle of about 10 women in their late twenties and early thirties have gone in for any of this. We've all, without exception, had nights out in London with some food involved and dancing at the end. Total cost per person, maximum of about £50.

[Lottapianos]

I tend to agree with the older people in your life! Most hen / stag celebrations I hear about are ludicrously expensive and over the top. Some people seem to treat it as a licence to turn themselves into J-Lo for a weekend!

I've only been to one hen weekend in recent years (close relative) - overnight in Dublin hotel, dinner and drinks in hotel, clubbing, breakfast next morning. With flights included, I guess it was about £300. It was nice but to be honest, I loathe hen nights and pretty much never attend. Thankfully, all my friends are either married already or hate hens as much as I do. There is no way I would be shelling out £300-500 four times a year for the next few years like some people do. Its a hell of a lot of money, on top of all the wedding expense, as you rightly point out. I don't think anyone should ever feel obligated to attend stuff like this

[rhiaaaaaaaannon]

Most of my friends are already married so I've only been to my own hen in the last 2 years. It was a night out in a local town, meal was about £25 each and then however much you wanted to spend on drinks later.

Dh has been on a few and they are always in big cities with activities during the day. The cost of travel, hotels, cost of activities and keeping up with his mates drinking is £££.
His friend is on about a foreign one when he gets married. He's a wealthy man so I'm dreading it tbh.

[IHeartHoumous]

Cheers guys, I think when/if my time comes i’d like a summer garden party in the evening at my mum’s (who has a huge garden) complete with fairy lights, music and home made cocktails. Cheap and cheerful without a willy straw in sight!

Meant to add to my OP – the Hen do’s i’ve been to have been organised by the bridesmaids (both times there were 5), some of them don’t know each other directly and I think in a bid not to “shoot down anyone’s idea” they squeeze as many activities in as poss – the last Hen I went on was far away, had a morning and an evening activity and involved a lot of rushing around to be at the venues on time and very little of everyone chatting, getting to know each other and swapping stories about the bride and groom to be

[tissuesosoft]

My DP and I have an agreement that if we were invited to a stag/hen abroad or involving more than on night away we wouldn't go- would rather save the money and have a family holiday with our DD (can't afford to do both!)

[Pantsalive]

That sounds lovely OP and I'm sure your hens will appreciate not having to spend a fortune.

[ginnybag]

My sister is about to do this to me courtesy of her future MIL/SIL (a whole other thread!) taking over the planning.

They're merrily talking about whole weekends away, with activities and trips and what-not, and meanwhile, Dsis' oldest friends and I are all trying to say we can't afford it and being ignored.

I've tried to talk to Dsis about it but she 'doesn't want to know what's happening'. Tbh, I think Hen's like this are selfish, and I suspect your future bridesmaids will thank you for keeping it simple and cheaper.

[annandale]

Two this year. 1. weekend staying at the hen's house, arrive late Fri, long walk and pub lunch Sat, big chilli on the stove and cheesy music Sat night. Petrol cost for me £10 as a friend took me up there, pub kitty £20, another tenner to take a bottle of prosecco.

1. night at the hen's house, bring and share meal, henna tattoos, more cheesy music, those from a long way away stayed over and had croissants and coffee in the morning. £6 to take a bottle of prosecco (theme here).
   

It has to be said that both of these were second weddings, and both hens are older with a house big enough to accommodate us in some form (only just in number 2). But, what is a hen night for? For having fun and celebrating the support of women in the hen's life IMO. It depends what you think 'fun' involves, but getting into debt is not fun for anyone.

[PurpleCrazyHorse]

Luckily all our friends are married but we were invited to my bro & SILs stag/hen do, we both declined at the first mention. We knew it would be a weekend of expense.

There's no way we're paying £300+ on a stag/hen weekend then a similar amount, if not more attending the wedding.

Your friends and family will really appreciate a lovely home hen do.