Is it weird to invite my ex and his family?

(18 Posts)
Mybugslife Mon 05-Sep-16 23:08:02

So me and DP after 2 years being engaged are finally starting to plan our wedding!
Chatting through the guest list and I list off my exP and his family and didn't think anything of it.
He is the father of my DD. I am very good friends with his sister still (in fact she will be invited to the ceremony, the rest of the family will only be invited to the reception).
We get on well, most of the time. I like his new DP and I still think of his family as part of my extended family, we have been invited to BBQs etc at their house and I always pop in for a chat and a tea when I collect DD.

But is it weird? When I've spoken to people about it they are always really shocked and think I'm mad even suggesting inviting my ex to my wedding.

I should also add that my DP is completely fine with it too, they get on really well and he has been with me to BBQs etc.

MimiSunshine Wed 07-Sep-16 17:53:17

It's unusual but if you all get on then it's great and how lovely for your DD to grow up with parents who are happy for each other at the big moments

WannaBe Wed 07-Sep-16 17:55:23

No-one else's business. Many people likely find it odd because they themselves couldn't imagine having such a relationship with an ex.

Iggi999 Wed 07-Sep-16 17:58:06

I think it's lovely for your dd if you're able to behave in such a civilised fashion.

Minniemagoo Wed 07-Sep-16 18:01:34

I have a friend who is like you, she says her ex is still family just not immediate family.
She is lucky that her divorce was amicable and both behaved well so it's easier. Also her now Dh isn't the jealous type.
Works for them. It's just not the usual way things pan out in divorces.
Good for you! Hold onto that relationship

GeorgeTheThird Wed 07-Sep-16 18:01:59

It might be weird. But it's still great. Go for it.

hesterton Wed 07-Sep-16 18:03:09

I went to my ex's wedding. It was a lovely chance to see his family and many of our old friends who I see less of these days.

I adore his current wife - she is ace and better than I ever was at coping with his more colourful and challenging side. She's nice to my adult dc too.

I felt v honoured to be invited with my then dp (now dh, but we didn't invite them to our wedding as it was v small. They understood.)

SquidgyRedBall Thu 08-Sep-16 18:47:36

Personally I'd find it weird. That's because all of my past relationships didn't end well and we had no children or finances to keep us in touch.

If you all get along and your fiancée is ok with it then it's no one else's business. It's lovely that you all get along so well to this extent.

Xmasfairy86 Sat 10-Sep-16 07:59:47

It's strange. But what works for you is best. And if DP is genuinely fine with it then go for it

OnlyHereForTheCamping Sat 10-Sep-16 08:09:19

It's not weird. It would be weirder to not invite people you love and want in your life

Blingygolightly Sat 10-Sep-16 08:25:27

I don't think it's weird at all, I think it's lovely. It's not the same as your situation at all but..... I made sure that 2 of my dh's ex girlfriends were at our wedding. They are lovely people, and were/are still part of the same friendship group. It would have been mean and also more weird not to invite them. Others found it weird but i was happy, so were they and dh.

IwannaSnorlax Sun 11-Sep-16 21:27:10

I think it sounds like a great arrangement Op - well done as that will really benefit your DD.

Congrats on your wedding.

Runningupthathill82 Sun 11-Sep-16 21:28:57

Course it's not weird. My ex and his DW were at my wedding and my whole family were at his.

willconcern Sun 11-Sep-16 21:31:45

I don't think it's weird either. I think it's great. It's a great shame that more separated families aren't like this.

Congratulations!

DozyDoriss Sun 11-Sep-16 21:37:53

I think it's great!

I invited my ex (eldest Ds's dad) to my wedding, he didn't come as he didn't have a date and said he would feel weird being there on his own. Fair enough!

I invited him and his then gf to mine and dh's children's christening and they both came, it was great to have them there and Ds loved having us all there together.

Hassled Sun 11-Sep-16 21:42:54

Not weird to me - I have a similarly close relationship with my ex H. I went to his wedding recently - it was lovely.

MyNameIsPenny Sun 25-Sep-16 21:25:11

My new dh's ex wife and her partner and their child came to our wedding.
We all get on and spend time together for their daughters sake, we go to their child's birthday parties, they come to our children's parties etc etc.
We get on, we didn't find it weird. No idea if anyone else did. It didn't cross my mind to be honest.
Your wedding, your choice

DiegeticMuch Sat 08-Oct-16 22:57:56

It sounds like a mature arrangement. Your DC is lucky.

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