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To invite plus 1's?

5 replies

Mybugslife · 03/09/2016 20:15

So I've been engaged to my fiancé for 2 years but we've had such a stressful time we've not got round to booking anything for the wedding. We're finally at the point where we are ready to book and plan.
We are both happy with a small wedding ceremony with those people staying for the meal and then a larger reception in the eve but not huge.

My problem is can we not invite plus 1's to the ceremony but say they are welcome for the evening? We both have pretty large families and obviously we want our siblings other halves there but I'm talking about our cousins other halves etc.

I guess I should give a bit of background. My cousins in particular, we are not majorly close but feel we need to invite them, they are younger than me, the oldest 23 and the youngest coming up to 18 , they all have boyfriends/girlfriends but none married or have children etc. I've never met any of the partners and really don't want people we don't even know at the ceremony.
Our very close friends that will be at the ceremony (only a handful and all either bridesmaids or best man) we are close to them as couples, a few have children together and one couple is married so obviously I'm happy for them to be there as a couple.
Is this out of order to not invite extended family plus 1's? Or do you all think I need too?

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Fcukthetww · 03/09/2016 20:23

Didn't want to read and run- I got married this past Feb and we basically told everyone daytime was invite only but if their partners wanted to come in the evening they were more than welcome. I think inviting to service then evening is a bit off as they have all the rigmarole of getting dressed up and then making them wait all day seems inconvenient. Plus it's often easier to get babysitting for evening only father than for an hour in the afternoon then all evening. Hope your wedding turns out beautifully x

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DrLockhart · 03/09/2016 20:38

We went with the rule if they were married or living together, the plus 1 was invited, if not, but they could come to the evening.

We also had a 'friends' table with no partners as the girls wanted to attend without them & not have to worry that their DP/DH's were bored (as they didn't know me that well). They came in the evening and/or had the kids and were more than happy. I just had honest discussions with people and let them know the numbers were getting higher and higher.

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muddypuddled · 03/09/2016 20:53

I think your idea is about right op. We only invited partners that we knew. If we'd never met them and the person invited knew plenty of people also invited then we didn't think it would be a problem. We then said that if their partners wanted to come to the even if they were welcome to. A few did. We had one plus one for the whole day that neither of us knew because the person we had invited knew nobody except for us.

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muddypuddled · 03/09/2016 20:54

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Mybugslife · 03/09/2016 20:56

Thankyou so much for your replies. I was really worried I was going to be completely out of order. I guess at the end of the day I'm paying for their meal and if they are unhappy their DPs aren't invited to the 'main' part then they don't have to come.

Thanks again xx