Have you been to/had a wedding at home?

(31 Posts)
ExplodingCarrots Mon 11-Apr-16 11:58:02

If so, was it a success or a nightmare?

We're a couple of months in planning. Aiming for 2018. To set the scene: Together 9 and a half years, 1 dd , own home, both very laid back and don't tend to follow tradition.

We've been looking at venues and such and we are just shock at the prices. We have initially set a budget of 20k (we would like change) but we are finding that if you go down the traditional route of venue , caterers, flowers, photographers, evening do etc it's coming out to being a very expensive for what you get and just very samey.

Location wise we're not fortunate to have the luxury of a huge choice of venues. I also don't want to travel and drag our families hours away.

Anyway, here's an idea we got. Tell me if you've had or been to something similar and if it's a good idea.

•Afternoon Civil ceremony at the castle 5 minutes down the road.
• Back to our house for nibbles (like cake and sandwiches) followed by a hog roast or Bbq in the evening.
•Hire a marquee to put in the garden and lots of sofas and tables
• Do our own entertainment. Hire bouncy castle, sound system and lights.

The only snags we are hitting are room and the surrounding neighbours. We live in a 3 bed detached. The house isn't particularly large but the garden is a decent size (not acres of land btw). We'd be inviting a few of the neighbours but not all. Would we go around the neighbours a few weeks before and warn them about noise in advance and promise music outside would be off at a reasonable time?

Parking may also be an issue but we're hoping people will get taxis and we'll hire transport for people who live 5+ miles away.

I'm just afraid people will get bored of just sitting around..even though it'll be an afternoon ceremony. Guest list is at 80 so far.

We are starting to think maybe a big venue wedding isn't for us seeing as wev been together for so long and a lot of our friends will have kids . Plus our dd can sleep in her own bed etc

Yes or no?

Whisky2014 Mon 11-Apr-16 12:08:10

I think it sounds good. It will be alot cheaper but you could still get a band in a marquee. You can also hire a lorry of toilets (which sounds horrible but they are done like an old country houses on the inside hehe). I can't imagine your neighbours would complain if it all stopped at midnight on a Saturday night or something and especially if you pre warn them. I wouldn't complain. It sounds like a really nice plan.

lavenderdoilly Mon 11-Apr-16 12:12:23

I went to a wedding at home in a small terraced house. One of the best I've ever been to. Not much money (not London btw) not much "stuff". Bride always been stylish and creative (even with zero money ). Wedding reflected her and groom much better than any venue could. Neighbours went along with it no problem.

ExplodingCarrots Mon 11-Apr-16 12:13:28

We have 2 bathrooms in our house would that be ok?

We agreed that midnight would be the cut off . If we still wanted a dance we could take it in the house with the doors closed. Our immediate neighbours would be celebrating with us. Just concerned about the others in the street.

Our friends are in a band so will be asking them smile

lavenderdoilly Mon 11-Apr-16 13:21:38

To my mind, 2 bathrooms is fine. Making that work ok is all part of the "let's make this a lovely day" for the couple.

mouldycheesefan Mon 11-Apr-16 13:26:14

I have been to a couple.
They hired toilets, you don't want 80 people wandering into the house, both times the houses were locked up and not open to guests.
Consider things like electricity generators, food refrigeration etc
I would hire a wedding planner, I hired one for a party and they made everything a million times easier for a small cost. Plus they have lots of contacts and can negotiate discounts etc so they can save you money.

mouldycheesefan Mon 11-Apr-16 13:27:01

Sorry, should have said I hired one for a party at home of around 60 people, which was outside.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 11-Apr-16 13:30:11

We did it at home. About 45 people and 2 bathrooms! It was greatsmile

neolara Mon 11-Apr-16 13:32:15

Yes. We actually got married at my parents house. They arranged for their house to be a venue where marriages could take place. Then we had a marquee in the garden. Was fantastic, although I suspect quite stressful for my mum. We got married 4 months after getting engaged.

MirandaWest Mon 11-Apr-16 13:35:05

We're getting married in July - ceremony in village church and then back to our house with a marquee in the garden. We don't have near neighbours and we'll be having about 45 people there so not too much of a problem with parking hopefully. Will know in a few months how well it works grin

Smurfingreat Mon 11-Apr-16 13:35:10

I had my reception at my parents home, marquee in the garden and 2 loos in the house. I've also just got back from a friends wedding where she did a similar thing. Doing all the preparations can be hard work, but I found it made the actual day really relaxing. I'd say go for it.

Underdogsbollocks Mon 11-Apr-16 13:39:51

Yes I was a bridesmaid and it was fab. They lived in a small new build semi at the time with a little patio and garden and had a marquee that went fence-fence with about an inch to spare. They hired a DJ/singer and had a hog roast, and we (the wedding party) all brought a few bowls of salad/crisps etc for the buffet table so the bride and groom didn't have to do it all themselves the day before. They had two bathrooms for 65 guests which worked fine and kept the house unlocked all night so people could move between marquee/kitchen/living room/conservatory as they wished smile.

ExplodingCarrots Mon 11-Apr-16 13:58:53

I'm glad to see its a positive thing! We would open the house to guests but only the living room, second living room and kitchen. I'd shut the rest off. Both our living rooms have patio doors into our garden so we could set up the food in one of them.

I'm happy that this might be doable. I'm still going to have a photographer and maybe a DJ.

Thanx for the wedding planner tip, I will look into that.

I just hope my other neighbours will be ok. It'll be a one off.

ILeaveTheRoomForTwoMinutes Mon 11-Apr-16 14:03:46

Yes, a family member got married at their local church, then had the reception at home.

It was a lovely sunny dummer day and evening, long marquee from the patio doors, food on tables running along one side of it, so incase of rain there was plenty of room under cover a well as the house.

They borrowed extra chairs from the village hall.

Chimnerors(sp?) where lit in the evening.

I think it was a mix of caterers and home made food.

It's wasn't boring, having lots of people there to makes it an intresting event, and rather then sticking to tables people mingled more.

They had music, and a tree house were most of the children from 4yo upwards were hanging out and playing.

LeaLeander Mon 11-Apr-16 14:10:16

I love home weddings. Best ones I've ever attended.

As a guest though, your plan sounds like a long day. I would prefer to do the ceremony and then go back to your place for a festive couple of hours with nibbling type food and champagne. Then wave you off on your honeymoon late afternoon and be done with it.

The notion of stretching it all out into an evening of standing around a hog roast or BBQ grille isn't very appealing. Not because it's at home, but because I don't want to give up my entire day from early a.m. getting ready till late at night, to see two people married who already live together and have kids together. I would be happy for you but not like "ooh, it's the start of a whole new life! How exciting!" if you see what I mean. (And I am not a prude about marriage or out of wedlock children, at all.) So making it last 8-12 hours just seems like overkill.

As to the neighbors, I think most people would be inclined to overlook any inconvenience in light of the festive occasion; I just wouldn't be blasting out the tunes especially after 8 pm or so.

BackforGood Mon 11-Apr-16 14:30:36

Hmmm - clearly in a minority here, but wouldn't it be better in some kind of either local community / Church hall, or a local social club - start talking to them about a family party, without mentioning the word wedding ?

80 people is a LOT to host in a normal sized house, even with a marquee (and marquee hire is not cheap).

What will you do for drink (80 people x 9 hours or so is a lot of drink)

I don't think your 2 family bathrooms will be enough.
Where will you get all these sofas and tables from ?

Not what you want to hear, but you did ask grin

ExplodingCarrots Mon 11-Apr-16 14:32:25

Ileavetheroom that sounds exactly like we got in mind.

Lealander I see what you mean. That's why we're thinking of having a later afternoon ceremony to avoid dragging it out. A lot of friends and family love music so will want a dance so there will be a party atmosphere in the evening.

LeaLeander Mon 11-Apr-16 14:34:09

I think it could work for those numbers if it's sort of an open house / drop-in event where people come and go. If everyone is expected to be there at once, it does seem a stretch. Bathrooms would need to be cleaned up every hour or so.

ExplodingCarrots Mon 11-Apr-16 14:37:46

Backforgood the marquee company who I've been speaking to also have tables, sofas etc to hire alongside the marquee smile

A local hall is also an idea. We're keeping our options open. I've known couples who have not mentioned the W word when booking local function rooms and come the day and the owners have realised it was a wedding they've lost their shit.

80 is just a starting figure. I'm sure it can/will be cut.

ExplodingCarrots Mon 11-Apr-16 14:38:59

Oh as for drink. We will buy when stuff is on offer and gradually build up a store.

ExplodingCarrots Mon 11-Apr-16 14:42:39

Lealander I should have mentioned that it'll only be around 30-40 people who will be attending the ceremony. They will be immediate family and very close friends. The rest will join in in the evening for the hog roast.

ILeaveTheRoomForTwoMinutes Mon 11-Apr-16 14:53:36

I wouldn't worry about, people coming and going either.

They'll be people who go to any wedding, and then are counting down the minutes to be able to leave early without seeming rudegrin

The family one I went too, was just the same, bulk of people there for the wedding, and food and wedding cake , then they trickled out slowly.

But closer friends and family (large extended family) were the usual suspects there enjoying the rest of the evening.

steppemum Mon 11-Apr-16 14:54:54

I did it, my brother did it and one of my close friends did it.

We got married from my parents house, small village, we walked to village church and then back to their house for party. They had a barn, so we hired chairs and tables, and a band in the barn and had a hog roast (with caterers, but still a fraction of the price of a venue) Weather was kind to us, we could have managed if it wasn't, guests spread over the garden, but they could have spread over the house. We had under 100, the number of loos was fine (3, but one was ensuite, so not really used). In fact it was fabulous, so nice and friendly having it at home. Booze - Dad bought a huge stack on offer form a wine warehouse, so much cheaper than at a bar anyway (he likes wine so he knew what he was buying)

brother - he had an official wedding on Friday at a hotel, ceremony and sit down dinner etc family and close friends. Next day they had a massive BBQ party at their house for all their friends etc. They had a big house, so no problem if everyone was inside. Again, 3 loos but only 2 really accessible, don't remember an issue with loos. In the event weather was nice and it worked in and out.

close friend, her parents cottage really couldn't hold a party, not big enough. They lived next to the church, got married in the church and had a small marquee in their garden. It poured with rain, which actually didn't matter as the marquee filled the garden, so we couldn't have gone outside. Small jazz trio played in the marquee. It was quite a small wedding though and it was a sort of canapes and drinks, not a real meal. That was less successful, but partly due to standing (only enough chairs for grandparents) and lack of real food. In principle the venue was big enough for us all to have a good time.

fieldfare Mon 11-Apr-16 15:24:18

We had a big wedding planned and then Dh got made redundant so it all changed quite quickly as we still wanted to be married!
We had a registry office wedding (room for 45 inc children) and then a marquee in my best friend's garden. We borrowed the marquee from another friend's business lined the roof with bunting and fairy lights, put up a few event shelters (ours and borrowed from friends) off different sides (one for food, one for drinks, one for dancing). We had plenty of outside toys for the children and instead of wedding favours I made big party bags for them.
My fil used to be a chef and my mum used to be a caterer too, so between the three of us the food was great! Cold meats, Mediterranean type spread of salads and anti pasti etc. Huge trays of lasagne for later on (helped soak up all the mojitos!). My friend made our cake and I decorated it.

It can be brilliant!

annielostit Mon 11-Apr-16 15:59:03

We had our wedding celebration at home (married abroad). 45 people. 2 bathrooms, large party tent plus conservatory kitchen diner. Hired crockery linens tables etc. Did hot buffet for all.
I checked with the council about noise, they just advised to take it indoors by 11 & invite the neighbours.
Get someone in for 'staff' to clear up etc if you do it.

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