This old chestnut - wording about gift list

[SomethingBeginningWith]

DP and I are currently making our invitations and I'm flapping over the wording about the gifts.

Basically, I want to say, "we don't have a gift list but give us money towards our honeymoon, if you want, buy us a present, if you want, or don't get us anything, if you want" but, you know, in a nicer way.

Ideally, I'd just not write anything but then I'd get calls or texts from guests asking and I'd rather avoid that because it's even more awkward than putting anything in the first place.

What would you write to not sound grabby and to make it obvious that anything we receive would be appreciated but we're not expecting anything.

Phew. Thanks!

[AuntieStella]

I think you're better off going with your instincts and saying nothing pre-emptively.

Yes, then you have to deal with enquiries, but there's nothing wrong whatsoever in doing that. And you can then answer the question that your guest is actually asking, rather than trying to answer generically.

[YouBastardSockBalls]

'We are looking forward to your presence at our wedding, rather than presents - however if you would like to bring something and are stuck for ideas, we are saving for our honeymoon and a small contribution towards this would be lovely.

Thank you'

[YouBastardSockBalls]

Sent too soon.....something along those lines, if you feel you want to say something.

But I agree that saying nothing and dealing with enquiries is possibly better.

[EatDessertFirst]

We are having the same thing and we have decided to say nothing. I can deal with answering enquiries personally, but putting 'cash wanted' on the invites would look crass and grabby. Luckily, cash gifts are the done thing in our family/friends circle so answering enquiries can be done without embarassment.

[Glitteryfrog]

Say nothing.
People will ask you (or your parents).
We've given gifts of currency ($€) rather than £ as it feels like it really will be spent on the honey moon not food shopping from tesco.

[TopsyRose]

We did the same as you, we put:

The best gift is to have you there, however if you would like to get us anything, Thomas Cook vouchers would be most appreciated for us to put towards our honeymoon.

Everyone seemed fine with it and people were so generous!

[PuppyMonkey]

Sorry to those who've kindly made suggestions so far but they still sound like you're bring a grabby sod just after cash.

Say nothing. Answer the enquiries as and when.

[BoeBarlow]

I don't understand why gift lists are considered "grabby", I've only heard this on MN. I wouldn't dream of going to a wedding without buying a gift & I'm always relieved when there's a gift list or a suggestion in the invites. Saves me having to worry about what to buy. Me & DH set up an account with trailfinders and just put a link in the invites. We didn't turn people away at the door for not giving us anything. Some people bought us nothing, that's fine, we weren't bothered in the slightest but most people were happy that the suggestion was there for giving us something we would actually use.

[SomethingBeginningWith]

Thanks all. I wanted to avoid any enquiries or questions after sending out the invitations which is why I wanted to get it over and done with in the text.

Thinking back about invitations I've received, some have been poems, some have been similar to what I'm thinking, and I've been fine with all of them, not thinking they came across grabby and it was nice to just know without having to ask.

I like the ideas on the text some have suggested so thanks for those

[RevealTheHiddenBeach]

We said something like:

"as we have been living together for a few years, we already have more than enough "stuff", and want nothing more than to spend our wedding day with friends and family. If you insist, something towards our honeymoon would be wonderful but not in any way necessary."

[PurpleDaisies]

Could you do if via a website? My friends had lots of aspects of their honeymoon you could choose from for a range of different prices (instead of a gift list). We bought th cocktails on a beach in Koh Samui. They just included a link to the website like you would expect with a normal wedding list.

[June2009]

My friends did this too through a website so you could get them partof the flight (in miles), a train journey, a museum entry, a meal in a specifix restaurant out there, amusement park tickets, show tickets, money towards a meal when they got back, i cannot remember what it was called but it was great as we were getting them an experience rather than 'cash' And because they were going to India you could get them something for as little as £2 to whatever you wanted to give them (as many miles as you wanted for example).

Sorry I realise that doesn't answer your question.
As a guest I do like the gift lists and links to sites as if it is someone you know - enough to be invited, but not enough to know exactly what would really make their day then it really does help to guide you. I don't want to spend money on something they would hate or hide at the bottom of the cupboard for the next 15 years.
I don't know many people who would go to a wedding without a gift.

'For those who insist they like to bring us a gift but are stuck for ideas, here is a link to list of things we are into...hth! '

[TheOneWiththeNicestSmile]

I like June's suggestion

As a wedding guest I would much prefer to give a specific thing like a meal at a particular place, or an excursion, or entry to an attraction.

I can see that might be hard to organise but maybe you could price things & do a gift list with prices for those things? So, say you were going to Paris, people could give you the price of entry to the Louvre or the Eiffel Tower, or a Seine boat ride, or a meal at a certain restaurant?