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Weddings

Friends hen do doubtful I can go due to baby

6 replies

Emblondey84 · 10/05/2015 20:58

Evening all.
I'm in a bit of a dilemma . I have been asked to be bridesmaid for one of my oldest friends , which like any girl was so privileged .
A month after being asked I found out I was pregnant and my baby is due 8 weeks ( if on time) before the hen .
My friends hen is going to be costing about £300 all in for a two day break .
I am worried my friend will either take offence if I don't go .
Like most mums out there I shall only be on smp and have many financial commitments ( mortgage etc)
I was just after some advice how to approach this as I don't want to upset her but, at the same time can't commit to spending £300 .
which will stretch me to far .
Many thanks Smile

OP posts:
Mostlyjustaluker · 10/05/2015 21:04

Are you thinking of breast feeding? Then you may not be able to go. I think many new mums would struggle leaving a new baby at home. If baby is late then you will only be 6 weeks post birth and if birth is not easy or c section ypu may not be up for a weekend away. Ring friend and sit down and explain this to her but I would also offer to withdraw from being bridesmaid if she wished.

PenguinPoser · 10/05/2015 21:05

I'm in a similar situation but will have a 4 month old at the time of my friends hen do. I think something to think about apart from The money as well will be will you want to leave the baby for a whole weekend at the age. especially if breastfeeding. I'm feeding my dd and have come to the conclusion that I can leave her for a day with DH and lots of expressed milk but not going to leave her overnight due to feeding mainly.

I think be honest with your friend. Good friends will understand. And maybe depending what the plans are you could go to one of the daytime hen do activities?

Emblondey84 · 10/05/2015 21:25

Obviously there's the baby I'm worried of leaving too . Due to being so young . My husband will be working meaning my mum will have to have little one for the weekend .
The money is such a worry too as my friend doesn't really have money worries as her other half is in a good paid job .
I hope she understands as we've been friends for 20 years

OP posts:
Brandysnapper · 10/05/2015 21:29

I wouldn't be going, not because of the money but because of leaving such a lo. Is there something special you could do with your friend, that would have special meaning for the two of you? Just thinking that might soften the blow of your absence!

Emblondey84 · 10/05/2015 21:35

She is having a meal out closer to her wedding which is local and wouldn't mean leaving lo too long .

OP posts:
MrsAukerman · 10/05/2015 21:40

Erm, my ds is 6 months old nearly and I can't leave him for more than about 2 hours never mind 2 days. I.wouldn't even mention the money, just say that IF Bf works out for you then obviously you won't be able to come.

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