Thank You Gifts

[everygalaxy]

Who are we supposed to get thank you gifts for? And are they supposed to be just little token things?
I have two helpful bridesmaids and two less so plus STBDH's step mum hasn't actually helped but should she get a gift just because of who she is?
I'm so confused thank you!

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

My understanding is that the bridesmaids and groomsmen get little thank you gifts.

Then parents who have contributed.

[crazykat]

We got our bridesmaids and groomsmen little gifts - bracelets and cuff links. My mum, nan and mil got flowers as my mum and nan paid for my dress and they all helped with things for the wedding, my dad got cuff links as he and my mum paid for the wedding. We didn't get fil or fil's partner anything as neither of them helped with anything for the wedding and didn't even speak to me on the day.

At weddings I've been to the wedding party (bridesmaids and groomsmen) who get token gifts and mother of bride and groom get flowers.

[everygalaxy]

Thanks for the advice. I think I will get gifts for the maids and groomsmen and then my mom and auntie who have helped with the planning. Still not sure about mil as she hasn't actually done anything helpful?

[Beccadugs]

We got a tree for my parents as they paid, and took down a dead tree to make room for the marquee. This was done post wedding though!

I got silver bangles for my bridesmaids. Worked quite well as my maid of honour was amazing so I got one that was a bit more special for her.

I think we just got booze for the ushers.

[Beccadugs]

Also, you can always give table centre pieces to people to take home (as long as you haven't rented the vases!!) as it's a nice way to say thanks. Might deal with MIL??

[everygalaxy]

I feel so torn about this. I don't want to cause hard feelings but it really annoys because other than give us a bit of money PIL will literally be like any other guest on the day, they haven't helped with planning or making anything. My parents have sacrificed so much for our wedding it feels insulting to thank someone for just turning up!
I think the problem is that I'm really close to my parents so they are super involved but PIL aren't too fussed about poor STBDH and his life.

Sadly no centrepieces because the reception is on a steam train so not allowed flowers!

SIL is due twins on our wedding day so ILs might not even be coming!

[Beccadugs]

On a steam train... That is AWESOME!!

Perhaps get your DH to do thank yous in the speech and allude to gifts arriving at a later date... Then you can do something appropriate for each set of oarebts without there being an obvious discrepancy?

[everygalaxy]

Thanks becca when I stress about the wedding I just think of the beautiful train and how it will chug along and I'm calm again. I think I will get her a token gift because she is nice to me and get my parents something more meaningful.

Thanks for the advice and happy planning fellow brides to be

[emawaste]

I think you should give a little gift to mom.

[Only1scoop]

Yes Bridesmaids....ushers etc and definately both mums....

It's quite normal for a mil to get a gift even if hasn't contributed.

[whattoWHO]

Perhaps put a lovely card/letter in with the gift to your parents? Tell them how much you appreciate their support and how much it means to soon-to-be husband. They'll treasure that forever but MIL won't have her nose publicly put out of joint.

[crazykat]

I'd get you mil a little something even just flowers as she and FIL have contributed even if its only a fraction of what your parents have.

The train sounds amazing. Wish I'd thought of it!

[Nessalina]

We bought necklaces for the bridesmaids to wear on the day and keep, and engraved whiskey-filled hip flasks (available v.cheap on Amazon!) for the groomsmen and FIL. My folks had paid for most of the day, so we bought them two nights at a lovely hotel as a thank you
My MIL hadn't done much, but didn't want to leave her out, so bought her a cute charm bracelet.
We also got bottles of fizz for a friend who sang at the service, and my godmother who made the cake.
At the end of the day, if you're already spending a lot, most people won't expect a gift, and often a card with a well thought thank you inside goes down very well.

[MrsPinotGrigio]

We're having a very small wedding - only 14 guests, so we're buying a gift for everyone. The best man & DSS are getting engraved pocket watches & the rest of the men an engraved hip flask with a small bottle of their favourite spirit. For the ladies I'm thinking of engraved cosmetic mirrors or champagne glasses. There's 3 children so I'll have to find something for them - any suggestions would be gratefully received.
A steam train - wow that sounds fab

[MaxDeronto]

thank you gifts are just a token of love from a side of bride and groom to their loved ones..its just to show respect and love from their side ..this is really a good idea and token of love, nowadays mostly couple opting this.

[JennyZ1]

We gave thank you gifts to everyone in the wedding party, our parents and my personal attendants and usherettes.

[2minds]

We gave thank you gifts to both sets of parents (flowers and afternoon tea vouchers), the bridesmaid (my sister) and my DH's sister (who made the cake), the best man & a little gift for the page boys.

[everygalaxy]

Thanks everyone for the advice and great ideas. Since I first posted we have had an epic row with STBMIL and she has been pretty mean, including saying things about poor STBDH's late Mom. We are going to give both sets of parents a nice bottle of gin but in my parents gift bag hide a voucher for a treat and a nice hand written card telling them how special they are.
It is really sad because I used to get on well with IL, even though they never put STBDH first, but the wedding stress and drama has ruined our relationship

[everygalaxy]

MrsPinot I got the children wedding day sticker activity books and thomas the tank engine toys - I used my clubcard vouchers to stretch the budget.