Can someone please explain save the date cards?

(43 Posts)
LadyFlumpalot Sat 01-Feb-14 17:13:22

What is the point? Am I missing something vital here?

CMOTDibbler Sat 01-Feb-14 17:16:33

They tell people a year (or whatever) in advance that there will be a wedding that date, but with time/place tbd.

Unless all your guests will be local to the wedding, and not the sort to have full weekends booked months in advance, they are a very good idea imo

I'm a bit on the fence tbh. Cynical part of me thinks that it is just another money spinner from the wedding industry. Another part of me thinks actually not a hugely bad idea of you are booking your wedding a fair bit away and want to tell the people that are important when the date is. Just make sure the people that get one are actually definitely getting an invite.
With annual leave at a premium and the summer months do fill up with weddings and stuff I sometimes think a not of notice would be nice but I don't think people expect them.

AuntieStella Sat 01-Feb-14 17:17:34

They're not vital.

It's the expensive way of letting key people know when you will be marrying (so they can, if they wish, avoid double booking themselves).

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt Sat 01-Feb-14 17:18:33

If you're booking a wedding 18 months to a year in advance I think they're useful. We often have 6 weddings a year so it's helpful to us to know dates in advance so we can plan our actual lives!

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Sat 01-Feb-14 17:21:57

Traditionally, wedding invitations went out six to eight weeks in advance of the wedding.

However, traditionally you would normally live quite close to the vast majority of your friends and relations.

These days, people are more mobile so attending a wedding can often mean significant time, planning and expense (overnight travel, hotel stays, wedding in different country, etc.); this may mean that some guests need more notice than six to eight weeks.

Save the date cards are one possible solution to this -- they are a heads up that you are going to be invited to X and Y's wedding in (general location) on (date), so that you can factor it into your plans for the year.

They aren't compulsory and IME most couples still don't use them.

BunnyBaby Sat 01-Feb-14 17:22:52

They're not vital, but if you're looking from an etiquette perspective the invites should only go out 6 weeks before, so people use the 'save the dates' as a placeholder until the actual invites go out.

I have no preference, and some just choose to send invite out well in advance instead :-)

McFox Sat 01-Feb-14 17:23:05

They are really useful imo. We sent ours out 9 months in advance because we were getting married on a holiday weekend, so it meant that if people were planning on being away on holiday we knew well in advance, and so did they. It also meant that they could book their accommodation without any hassle.

Mintyy Sat 01-Feb-14 17:24:05

What are you having problems with? What don't you understand?

eurochick Sat 01-Feb-14 17:24:45

We sent them to the people we really wanted to be there or would have to travel. We got married on a bank holiday weekend so didn't want people to book something up and not be able to make the wedding, if they would like to have been there.

zestypears Sat 01-Feb-14 17:25:31

Invites going out six weeks before is ridiculous IMHO. DH and my weekends are booked up pretty much solid from here to May/June with one thing and another and we're not particularly sociable!

Also if you know the date then you will know the venue too, surely? So you may as well just send out a proper invitation!

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt Sat 01-Feb-14 17:35:11

Also, I agree that the six weeks ahead thing for invites is daft. We're booked up more or less til June too. We could juggle but it would mean rearranging stuff.

MirandaWest Sat 01-Feb-14 17:36:26

When I got married the RSVP date was 6 weeks before the wedding so we must have sent the cards out maybe about 2 months before.

BackforGood Sat 01-Feb-14 17:41:04

Not sure what's difficult to understand ? confused

It's a card, that people use to ask people to save that date if they want to come to the wedding - pretty much what it says on the tin.

AuntieStella Sat 01-Feb-14 17:43:48

You don't have to buy actual cards though. Just tell people when you're in contact with them anyhow. And if you're not in regular(ish) contact, then they're probably not going to arrange/rearrange around you anyhow.

Ragwort Sat 01-Feb-14 17:46:48

What do you do if you get a 'save the date' card but don't want to go to the wedding grin - isn't a bit awkward to say 'sorry, I've already got a commitment that day' if it is two years ahead !

cynical, don't really like going to weddings

I never "got it" til I got invited to two weddings on the same day - 300miles apart. As I had already had a StheD for the local one, I got in touch with my other friend well in advance of her sending invites to let her know as a courtesy.

sassytheFIRST Sat 01-Feb-14 17:53:17

Just don't so what we had once...a Save the date FRIDGE MAGNET with a pic of the happy couple gazing at each other over a pina colada with the setting sun in the background....

just. don't.

FamiliesShareGerms Sat 01-Feb-14 17:53:54

You don't have to send actual cards for a "save the date", though, if (like me) they seemed like yet another expense. We have had quite a few email "save the date"s, with the B & G holding up cards with the details on, or writing on a beach.

AuntieStella Sat 01-Feb-14 17:54:55

<covets a fridge magnet like that>

DontmindifIdo Sat 01-Feb-14 19:28:43

I didn't bother sending them, but did send e-mails and text messages to do the same thing, to let our overseas and out of town friends/family who were definately going to be on the "A" list of invites know.

pussycatdoll Sat 01-Feb-14 19:33:49

I've been given one & assumed it meant the whole day but then found out it's only the evening do I'm invited too
So it should have been save the evening grin

LadyFlumpalot Sat 01-Feb-14 21:09:14

Ok, I get it now - I didn't know that 'traditionally' invites don't go out until much closer. I was thinking it was just a first invite, followed by a second invite!

I wasn't going to bother, but I do see now that it might be worthwhile.

Thanks everyone!

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 01-Feb-14 21:17:38

we found it helpful to send them out before we knew many other details as people needed to book flights.
so the date and general location went out but the further information like timings and accomodation options and proper pretty invitation went out later (but more than 6 weeks much to the disgust of my mother)

fleacircus Sat 01-Feb-14 21:35:43

Oh lordy, how can there be an actual rule about when you send out a flipping invitation? How much energy would you have to devote to despising the rest of humanity to raise an eyebrow over this breach of etiquette? I despair.

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