Advice needed On guests.

(13 Posts)
Gingerandproud Sat 30-Mar-13 15:56:41

I need some advice on guests:

We have capacity for about 90 at the venue we like. I have a large family my partner does not. Currently we have 89 guests on the list: a large proportion are my family.

I think we need to rethink the list to include more of our large and wonderful circle of friends and some more of my partners family.

Here's the dilemma: my auntie, who I really detest but have to invite (have comes to terms with this for my dads sake) has a partner who I have met once, would it be odd if I didn't invite him to the day but only the evening?

Would it be difficult if I invited some other second cousins to only the evening as well to make way for more of dp family.

Stressing about it to be honest and would appreciate some advice.

Please don't say invite who you want it's your wedding it won't help me!

Thank you!

BackforGood Sat 30-Mar-13 16:00:34

It's always difficult in that all families have different 'traditions' or ways of doing things.
Personally, I wouldn't be inviting any second cousins - I think that's a bit of a tenuous link.
Generally though, if someone is with a long term partner, then you have to invite them both. Unless this Aunt has met him in the last few weeks, since you've started the wedding plans, then I think they come as a couple.

FiveGoMadInDorset Sat 30-Mar-13 16:04:47

I have a large family, I invited Aunts/Uncles and first cousins and partners only, if I had started on the second cousins that would have been it.

Gingerandproud Sat 30-Mar-13 16:10:03

Thank you for quick responses. There is one set of second cousins whom I am very close to do will be inviting them but as for the rest I should re l

LoopaDaLoopa Sat 30-Mar-13 16:10:19

Invite people you like. Friends over family if you like them more. Weddings these days are for fun, not for outdated familial traditions.

We're not in the 1800s and blood is not thicker than water if you don't get on well. Sack off the second cousins, and the first ones too if you prefer your friends.

Gingerandproud Sat 30-Mar-13 16:12:48

Thank you for quick responses. There is one set of second cousins whom I am very close to so will be inviting them but as for the rest I will definitely be relooking at!

Shame have to invite my dads sister at all really but I simply adore my dad and couldn't do that to him as they get on ok. Long history between us I won't get into!

GemmaTeller Sat 30-Mar-13 16:17:00
Gingerandproud Sat 30-Mar-13 16:20:26

Link is great! Major rethink on guest list!

Gingerandproud Sun 31-Mar-13 16:14:37

spoke to my parents and they were surprisingly ok with the compromises!

Taken out most of second cousins and inviting some partners to just evening. Partner thrilled he now has 6 slots to fill!

Thank you for all your help! Im sure ill be back with many more questions!

FiveGoMadInDorset Sun 31-Mar-13 16:17:06

Fall out quite spectaularly with a large section of the family, as my nephew has done, and you will find yourself with lots more spaces, which they have done.

Trills Sun 31-Mar-13 16:21:50

Second cousins should be pleased to be invited at all and certainly shouldn't make a fuss about only getting an evening invitation.

Trills Sun 31-Mar-13 16:22:49

If you have people whoa re the same level of blood relation but one you speak to every week and one you have not seen in years they would be very unreasonable to expect the exact same treatment.

I think you and your DH should have more or less equal numbers of guests. We had a similar issue, DH2B has a massive family while mine is small. We've had to compromise and not have all his cousins, otherwise our wedding would be full of people I've never met at the expense of friends we see regularly.

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