wedding presents, we don't need anything wwyd?

(18 Posts)
ladygagoo Tue 19-Mar-13 14:48:34

DP and I are getting married in August. We have lived together a while and have DS (6months). We don't want to send out a gift list, we have everything we need and would rather our friends and family not buy us any gifts.
DM thinks I have to tell people this, or we'll get '50 toasters', I disagree.
Need some help MN people please as I don't want loads of guests asking about gifts but equally don't really want to mention it at all with the invitation.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Tue 19-Mar-13 14:55:49

Wow, well I would never turn up at a wedding without a present unless I was told, even then it would feel a little strange. I think you have to let them know somehow, how about a little slip inside invite saying you would rather people donated to a charity close to your heart for your special day.

ladygagoo Tue 19-Mar-13 15:08:09

This is the problem, I would never turn up at a wedding without a present either but I don't want by 'not' mentioning it that we are by default asking for £££.

Tallyra Tue 19-Mar-13 15:12:29

I would say something in the invite along the lines of 'We have everything that we feel we need at the moment. All we want is your company on the day, but if you would prefer to bring a gift, please don't spend a lot of money on us. We will be happy with a hug and a kiss.' or something along those lines...

lilibet Tue 19-Mar-13 15:25:57

Dh and i had this problem, we had just combined two houses so had far too much stuff anyway. We did this.

The guests were split three ways, about a third gave to the charity, a third gave us vouchers and a third bought presents anyway.

Have a wonderful day grin

sashh Thu 21-Mar-13 02:47:01

Contact a charity that sets people up in their home who have nothing. There will probably be one local to you, or there is refuge / shelter etc.

Find out what they could use.

If you are kind enough to think of bringing a present, thank you, but it is not necessary, the only thing we want is your company.

I know some people feel a wedding is not a wedding without presents and if you feel that way, thank you again.

We have a list of things needed to set up home via (insert name of charity).

Nandocushion Brazil Thu 21-Mar-13 03:30:46

It's probably too late for you, but I know a couple who felt the same, so instead of telling people it was their wedding day they asked everyone to come to a 'summer party' and dropped hints that there would be an announcement at the party. That way people thought it was important enough to be there (ie not just a barbecue or whatever) but didn't bring a gift. Then everyone had a lovely time, and just after the meal, an official strode up and married them in front of everyone. It was wonderful - no pressure on the guests, and the couple had the day they wanted.

I would have thought that most people coming to your wedding will know that you already have a home, so won't buy toasters etc (do people still do that?). We made no mention of presents in our invitations and we ended up with a mixture of money, vouchers (anyone who asked about presents was told we were planning to do up our garden so we got a few b&q type vouchers) and some lovely thoughtful or useful gifts. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of making requests on invitations so we just had a plan for what to tell people if they asked.

We had same issue, so we asked everyone who wanted to bring a gift to buy us their favourite ever book, with a note to us in the fly leaf. Problem solved - we ended up with a very personal and lovely wedding library that people felt much more emotional about than toasters (!) and we treasure it.

CelticPromise Mon 25-Mar-13 08:37:16

That is a brilliant idea sleep, how lovely.

rubyrubyruby Mon 25-Mar-13 08:40:31

We didn't mention it in our invites.

Some people asked and we just said that it wasn't necessary and we weren't expecting any presents.

calypso2008 Mon 25-Mar-13 08:44:47

I love Sleeps idea. Similiar lines, something I would have done (except my DH is teetotal) is ask everyone for a nice bottle of wine this is not necessarily very expensive for guests and then you have a wedding wine cellar and every time you share a bottle you think of the person that gave it to you!

Mind you I do like my wine a bit too much so this may not be for you!

Gay40 Mon 25-Mar-13 08:47:39

I'm going to do Sleep's idea. I think it's amazing.

Startail Mon 25-Mar-13 08:53:30

I love the books idea, our best man slipped a cheque in the front cover of Alice in wonderland (23 years later I still haven't read it blush) I've spent the money, we were students, we very defiantly did need presents, I still use the pans and cutlery my DF clubbed together to buy every day.

One of those DFs got married to her DP (of 20years) very recently, she asked for donations to Oxfam as she'd worked in their shop.

She got various goats etc in there name and her colleagues clubbed together to add a boat trip romantic meal to their honeymoon (DFs met working there so they are part of the furniture).

RaisingGirls Mon 25-Mar-13 08:54:58

We did Sleep's idea for our daughters on their Christening days. We felt sad about people buying "traditional" Christening gifts that tend to be put away and forgotten about sad, so we said gifts were not necessary, but if people wanted to bring a present, it would be lovely if they brought their favourite children's book, with a note as to who it was from. The girls have a wonderful library from special friends and family, and whenever we have visitors, they love to read "their" books with them. smile

Caladria Mon 25-Mar-13 08:56:23

Love the wine idea - some merchants do wedding wine lists.

PrincessOfChina Mon 25-Mar-13 08:57:58

I'd never go to a wedding without a gift, but would be more than happy to donate to a charity of your choice in lieu. The books idea is lovely, and I may steal the wine idea!

Your mum's right, not so much about the toasters, but you do need to give some guidance if you don't want to receive more traditional gifts.

NannyGR Wed 27-Mar-13 23:23:59

Me and my fiancé have lived together 3yrs and have everything we need, so those ppl that feel necessary to buy a gift we are asking for donations towards our honeymoon, some travel agents let you set up an account and people can then put some money into it if they want too! We thought that way we won't end up with stuff we don't need (not that we expect anything anyway) and it may helps us along with our honeymoon of our dreams :-D

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