A VERY LOW budget wedding!

(85 Posts)
debandkids3 Fri 08-Mar-13 12:03:06

I am getting married next year on a very low budget.. I am wondering if anyone has had a wedding reception at a pub and got the guests to pay for their own 'price per head'? I know it sounds cheap but thats all i can do, cheap. please can you help me? Thank you! X

aufaniae Mon 11-Mar-13 09:45:19

Most weddings costs the guests money one way or another, and I would hazard a guess that many expensive paid-for weddings cost the attendees more than budget pay-you-own-way weddings do.

I've been invited to a wonderful wedding with everything paid for, it looks amazing. Once you get there that is, it's in Thailand! Plane fares to Thailand are slightly more than £8.95 last time I looked.

Another all-paid-for wedding I went to, cost us £200 in hotel fees.

Anyone who resents paying £8.95 to attend a wedding for someone who means something to them is an arse IMHO.

debandkids3 Mon 11-Mar-13 09:54:30

I don't have the kind of money that people are born into so a wedding that costs 15k+ are as lucky as those who spend 1k. Its not the amount of money that gets spent or asking guests to pay £8.95 its the day itself that counts. I will do what I want on my day whether it cost 100 - 1k aslong as I have a wonderful day and my guests have a wonderful day, that's all I'm bothered about. Like I said before, everyone is entitled to their opinion. There is some really good ideas but at the end my day, my choice.

aufaniae Mon 11-Mar-13 10:04:57

deb I'm sorry I don't want to turn your thread into an argument about how much people should pay for a wedding! (And I fear my posts may be). So I'm going to stop arguing the point now.

You sound like a genuinely nice person, and I hope you have a lovely wedding day, I'm sure you will.

I hope you continue to share your ideas with us, I need inspiration for my own wedding on a shoe-string!

dothraki Mon 11-Mar-13 10:13:18

Deb - there are some lovely ideas on here. I'm loving the tea party idea. I'm sure people would be more than happy to bake a cake - or make some bunting. (I would have no problem paying for my own meal eithersmile)

lainiekazan Mon 11-Mar-13 10:17:05

My top tip is my wedding flower one.

I went into Tesco the day before my wedding and bought ALL their daffodils. Hundreds of 'em. They gave me a discount and let me have the buckets grin And then they started to open at home and on the day of the wedding I put them along the table in glasses (bought from Woolies; IKEA do mega cheap ones now). Everyone remarked how lovely they looked. There was no stinting, every glass was full and the room was abundant with flowers.

Kendodd Mon 11-Mar-13 10:34:15

I'd be more than happy to pay for my own meal, and would completely support and understand why I was being asked to do so.

But, I would feel a little embarressed about it if it was my wedding, sorry. Personally I think a village hall bring and share is a better idea. I would even prefer to go to that than an all paid for event because I would feel like I was helping with the wedding, really supporting it.

As for the 'don't invite people if you can't pay for them' just ignore. Weddings are expensive enough already and I don't think people you love and really want there should be excluded just because you can't afford to pay for their dinner.

debandkids3 Mon 11-Mar-13 10:42:41

Aufaniae no am not arguing with you or anyone love, I appreciate everyones opinion and take it on board. I am a very nice person and speak my mind. I have also had offers off other mumsnetters helping out with my head dress and cake and I have taken them up on there offer. I am having 2 bridesmaids who have their own dresses, 2 flower girls and buying their dresses off ebay £25 each and 3 page boys (my sons) and also getting suits off ebay for £20 for 2 youngest £35 for my oldest. I have decided to go for atrificial flowers. I am just undecided for reception whether home or pub.

debandkids3 Mon 11-Mar-13 10:47:09

And I am not wanting any gifts either

Startail Mon 11-Mar-13 10:54:25

Be honest, I'd much rather get a invitation that said,

"I'm stoney broke, but want more guests than Mum and Dad and great Aunt Maud.
Please bring a bottle, a plate of food and cash for chips if you want to dance till late.
I'll organise a hall and music and we'll deathen Uncle Fred!"

Than an invitation to a posh hotel with no partners or DCs or a do I knew the couple really couldn't afford.

I got married as a student and it was a cheap buffet in the village hall. I made head dresses when I should have been revising.

DH had been an alter boy so the vicar charged only what he had to and by dressmaking aunt made my dress as a wedding present.

aufaniae Mon 11-Mar-13 11:14:35

Ooh, no I didn't think you were arguing with me! I was arguing with TobyLerone / people who think asking people to pay a modest amount for food is wrong.

I was trying to say I'm withdrawing from arguing about whether low budget weddings are a good thing (and I think they are!) as I don't want to derail the thread.

You're getting some lovely practical suggestions about your wedding day, it would be a shame if this thread turned into a bunfight instead! It occurred to me I might be leading it that way so I've decided to shut up on the subject!

debandkids3 Mon 11-Mar-13 11:15:28

Exactly startail. I have never wanted a big fancy wedding that's going to cost 1000s of pounds and get us into alot of debt. I want to be able to enjoy married life without the trouble of money I haven't got. I might have a garden party at home and ask guests to bring food or a pub buffet and ask guests to pay £8.95 each.

aufaniae Mon 11-Mar-13 11:16:54

And yes it's obvious you're a very nice person smile

debandkids3 Mon 11-Mar-13 11:18:44

I am so sorry aufaniae, please don't shut up on the subject hun, if you also have ideas then I will take them on board also. I am having a lot of super great ideas

Startail Mon 11-Mar-13 12:48:53

I've felt slightly guilty about the last two weddings I've been to. My youngest cousins both got married last summer and the one before.

Both big hotel do's with our hotel bills covered.
I know my aunt and uncle probably picked up the hotel bill and can probably just afford it, but it felt wrong.

DD2 was bridesmaid for one of them and my cousin and his bride wouldn't let me pay for anything. They spoilt her rotten, dress, hair do, £35 high heels, she had a ball, but...

We are 10-15 years older and not badly off, it felt slightly uncomfortable being quite so spoilt. (And yes I did stick a decent sized cheque in their card).

aufaniae Mon 11-Mar-13 14:37:49

Thanks Debs smile

I'm enjoying this thread very much though for inspiration for my own wedding smile

DP and I are planning on getting married, but we're pretty skint atm, and I'd rather not wait years and years!

I think for us the key will probably be to ask friends and family to help with things they're good at, in lieu of presents. We're very lucky to have friends who are keen to help out. DP's mum makes wedding cakes as a hobby for example, so that's brilliant! We also know musicians and DJs so we've got the music sorted. But working out a venue and all the rest of it - that's the hard part, as our friends and family are spread far and wide. If you do a BYO type thing, it would probably help to ask some specific friends to do things you know they're good at, as well as a general call to bring food (if you go that route). Having said that one of my best friends is a photographer, but we're not going to ask her to to the photos in lieu of her present, as I know she takes it very seriously and I want her to be able to relax and enjoy the day.

I'm not keen on a traditional wedding dress at all, and don't want to spend an absolute fortune on it. Someone here suggested a Salwar Kameez, which I'm seriously considering as they're just beautiful, and very reasonable indeed! All of these are under £100:

It would be seriously my hippy credentials to my sleeve but I just love this beautiful dress
or this one - only £64!
Or this amazingly colourful one, only £45!
Or I could go with or this as a nod to white

I have no Asian heritage, but I think these kinds of outfits have an amazing sense of occasion - besides being very reasonable - one of the reasons they're so cheap on that site is you either often have to sew them yourself or pay them extra to do so (but luckily I have a relative who's a great seamstress). Having said that you can buy them ready made and they're still very well-priced!

I know they're not for everyone but I'm quite excited and just wanted to share! smile

aufaniae Mon 11-Mar-13 14:44:22

Oops, I got one of the links wrong:

Amazingly colourful, only £45

Smudging Mon 11-Mar-13 15:05:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorningHasBroken Mon 11-Mar-13 15:07:35

deb have you thought about borrowing a dress? If you have married friends, most of them will have their dress shoved in a box somewhere. They may be quite pleased to see it being used again! (Obviously this was depend on you being a similar size/shape to them).

debandkids3 Mon 11-Mar-13 15:43:58

aufaniae, i have been with my partner for 16yrs and just getting round to getting married lol... It is so expensive these days just to say 'i do'... I have seen a dress on ebay and its stunning under £100. I dont want to spend a fortune on my wedding day as have no money.. I am buying little bits here and there ie:Flowers (artificial) and making my own bouquets and button holes, shoes, ties for the boys and men (couple quid primark). just the little things that actually add up at the end.

I hope you manage to have a day of your dreams on a low budget and it would be great if you could let us know how you get on smile

I am starting to take to the idea of a home reception because hopefully the weather will be nice and warm in July..

I like the idea to cut heart shapes out of old papers (idea from another mumsnetter) and have them scattered around.

I'm starting to get used to all these ideas now and getting more and more excited smile

debandkids3 Mon 11-Mar-13 15:45:11

Hi morning, no i haven't thought about that. There is a couple family members thats recently got married so yes i think i would concider asking, thank you

debandkids3 Mon 11-Mar-13 15:47:00

Smudging, that sounds great, i am asking family members if they wouldn't mind chipping in. Thank you

Pootles2010 Mon 11-Mar-13 15:50:19

Flowers can be done cheaply, we had little posies done for tables at ds's naming day for £5 each, they were lovely, she did them in ikea tumblers with a ribbon round, something like a sunflower, irises, and some other spring flowers, they were really nice. Something to consider at least.

Congratulations smile I'm sure you'll have a lovely day whatever you go with.

Teahouse Mon 11-Mar-13 15:53:43

Years ago I went to a wedding where all the guests we asked to bring food and drink. It was great, one of the best weddings I had ever been to. Every one mucked in and a friend ran their disco. They had virtually no money but were so happy together. She was Catholic too and didn't want to live in sin; we all understood and helped out. All they provided was paper plates and napkins, and plastic cutlery and glasses.
Be up front about how cheap you want it to be, and most people will respond positively I am sure

MortifiedAdams Mon 11-Mar-13 15:55:55

Ive been to a 'pay your own way' wedding where SIL and BIL said "we are getting married on x day and going to the pub after for some dinner. Anyones welcome to come along but we arent able to pay for that". The bride had a tuna baguette and we all sat in our coats as the heating was broken. Few rounds of pool and a couple of drinks and it was an enjoyable afternoon. Didnt feel like a wedding, but I still enjoyed it.

I wouldnt mind at contributing for the big day at all but would rather bring food and drink than be asked to pay x amount for a buffet. For instance, I always rhought a big picnic would be good - everyone bring a hamper of nibbles and some fizz and lay all the blankets out.

Fluffy1234 Mon 11-Mar-13 16:11:03

How about having a BBQ or hog roast? Good value and would be a good atmosphere.

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