Getting nowhere planning wedding and it's starting to depress me.

(35 Posts)
MrsPennyapple Wed 13-Feb-13 15:17:22

Hi everyone, am hoping someone can give me some clue where to start.

We're getting married in May (2013), registry office followed by buffet in a country pub, all fairly informal. The ceremony is late in the day so we're only having one reception for everyone, not afternoon & evening receptions. We are trying to keep costs down as much as possible, DP's parents are paying for the food, so that's taken care of. We have approx £1500 - £2000 to spend.

Problems:

1) My dress. I am pg, will be approx 5 months by wedding date, so no idea how big my bump will be. I always look washed out in pale colours so am looking for something in a fairly bright colour, ideally a raspberry pink or teal but am open to suggestions. I'd also like it to be knee-length or just below, and preferably not strapless. I like those that are v-neck front and back. I cannot find ANYTHING. Am I being too fussy? How do you choose a dress when you have no clue what size you'll be? At this rate I'm just going to buy something that "will do" and then hate my wedding pics forever.

2) Table decorations There will be a fair few children, of all ages, so candles are out. I don't want goldfish bowls and tiny scattered crystals. There is not going to be a table plan, everyone can sit where they like. I don't know whether to do buckets of crayons and paper, or something similar. I thought maybe board games on the tables, what does anyone think of this idea?

3) Photos Where will we have photos taken? Outside the registry office is not very picturesque. Not sure whether to pay for professional pics or not, DP hates his photo being taken, and although he'd tolerate it, it would show in the pics.

4) Transport Not a clue.

5) Everything else I keep thinking of more things we need to do / think about / decide on, and it's stressing me out no end. I keep thinking I'm making this a bigger deal than it needs to be. Plenty of people get married with less time than we've got, and manage to make it a lovely day. Please someone talk some sense into me. Or at least tell me what else I need to arrange that I haven't thought of. I'm not having any bridesmaids as there are three or four people I could choose, none of whom know each other, and they all live hundreds of miles away.

TheBeanAndTheBee Tue 19-Feb-13 21:59:00

outnet this in pink?

MrsPennyapple Fri 15-Feb-13 13:38:59

Oh dear, sorry to hear about the pox! I will have a good browse at the J Crew site. I must admit I've only looked at UK suppliers, I'm a bit of a scaredy about buying things from abroad, since a friend of mine bought a jacket and had to pay £50 in taxes (on top of the purchase price) to bring it into the country!

TheBeanAndTheBee Fri 15-Feb-13 13:13:38

ooh good - there are some lovely dresses in the j crew bridesmaid bit. the outnet is also worth a trawl through. i'm stuck indoors with 2DDs with chicken pox so happily window shopping on your behalf!

MrsPennyapple Fri 15-Feb-13 13:09:04

Thank you Bean! I'm not keen on the New Look one or either of the ASOS but I love the Halston (I do like purple) and the J Crew (would go for Vintage Berry).

TheBeanAndTheBee Fri 15-Feb-13 13:04:32
TheBeanAndTheBee Fri 15-Feb-13 13:02:55
TheBeanAndTheBee Fri 15-Feb-13 12:10:55

j crew

again not maternity

TheBeanAndTheBee Fri 15-Feb-13 11:57:21

halston

not maternity but could work?

TheBeanAndTheBee Fri 15-Feb-13 11:54:19

right colour, is it dressy enough?

could maybe accessorize with fab heels?

MrsPennyapple Fri 15-Feb-13 09:15:37

Thanks Purple I do like that dress, I just wish it came in the right colour! The blue is nice though and certainly a possibility.

Byany I like the idea of the pinwheel bouquet too, but I think the effect is lost a bit, with them being crowded together. Could maybe do something similar though.

byanymeans Fri 15-Feb-13 08:05:41

Oh oh i just found This
you could maybe reproduce a bouquet like this and has paper flower button holes for the men. Im thinking of putting afew pinwheels in glass old school coca cola bottles on bettween the puddings on the pudding table rather then flowers. maybe you could mix up pinwheels and paper flowers in a bottle with a jar of sweets with a label saying 'eat me' and jar of cayon. Keeping it all bright a colourfull on the tables.

sashh Fri 15-Feb-13 07:16:25

You can get silk flowers, they look just like the real thing but don't fade. You could use those for button holes.

http://www.tiffanyrose.com/maternity/clothing/ANAES.html

Is this sort of dress what you fancied?

MrsPennyapple Thu 14-Feb-13 21:28:15

I suspect DP may agree with you about the windmills Bike although I think it would look brilliant smile

Thanks Dizzy, being married is the most important thing to me, I'd happily do it with two witnesses and just go out for dinner afterwards, but that wouldn't go down at all well with DP's family. They mean well, they just all want to join in the celebrations. I suppose I just want everyone to eat some nice food and have a bit of fun.

dizzy77 Thu 14-Feb-13 20:01:18

Hi MsPennyApple, I wanted to add some comfort if I can. We got married in May (9 years ago, yikes!) after finalising our venues and dates in the December prior and not really getting on with the detail until the new year, and it was a great day and huge fun. It sounds like you have really clear views on certain things and a high degree of flexibility on others: this will help you list and prioritise.

Avoiding a "wedding" dress will save all the teeth sucking from bridal shops (they were dismayed when I visited in January for a may wedding) and simply asking if photographers, taxis etc are available on your date will save a lot of soul searching on options.

I second that invitations can be really simple and professional print shops don't cost much and save a lot of heartache. Appointing a "best woman" or "event coordinator" for the day (they don't have to be directly part of the bridal party who is clear about the plans to deal with anything that comes up on the day was a great help for me - it was my SIL and we gave her mobile to everyone in case they couldn't make it at the last min, got lost etc, and she was the main liaison at the venue on the day.

What's most important to you? Mine was that we got married, and all our guests had a good time. A bonus was that showed and everyone looked gorgeous in the photos. Whilst I did get a bit fiddly about the stationery and favours that was my preference and I found it fun.

Congratulations. Have a great time.

ExasperatedSigh Thu 14-Feb-13 19:45:35

I like the miniature windmills!

BikeRunSki Thu 14-Feb-13 17:53:38

I'm all for informality and thinking outside of the box, but I think minature windmills instead of button holes is a bit silly.

MrsPennyapple Thu 14-Feb-13 13:51:43

Sashh No sari shops around here, unfortunately. I used to live near one and loved the colours, and colour combinations I'd never have thought of. Walking to the registry office is certainly possible, depends on the weather, you never know what May is going to be like!

Byany I've never heard of an infinity dress, will look into that, thank you. I like the pipe cleaners idea, and the quality street, can't beat them for a bit of colour and shine! There may be a mysterious absence of strawberry creams though. They'll be stashed at home for me!

I did have a couple of ideas for things to put on the tables - origami paper and instructions (would keep my big brother busy if nothing else), and maybe balloons with balloon animal instructions. DP wasn't struck on the board games idea, but I think he was thinking monopoly etc - I was thinking more Hungry Hippos and maybe Jenga! Quick games that don't take too much thinking about, or people will get distracted.

I am feeling lots calmer about the whole thing now, thanks everyone. I realised that the essential stuff is done - wedding venue is booked, reception venue is booked including food and drinks. Of course, we still need to take care of the invitations - I am making a start on those tonight.

Another thing I thought of - and do tell me if this is idiotic and will look ridiculous - on thinking about the hayfever factor, I thought that instead of flower buttonholes, the men could have little pinwheels, you know those windmill things that go round when the wind blows on them? But smaller than the normal ones, obviously.

Keep the ideas coming folks, and thank you!

byanymeans Thu 14-Feb-13 09:40:29

*note :£30 PER car not person lol

byanymeans Thu 14-Feb-13 09:39:19

Maybe look into an infinity dress there are lots on etsy. I have made them for brides and brides maids, one pregnant bride ordered an extra one cus it was so comfy to wear to another wedding before her own. There great to cus you can wear them again ever post bump.
As for cars we aint bothering at all but you could ring up a local tax and ask if they have a BMW or Merc. My dad did this and ended up with 3 Mercs for £30 each to take use ALL to the registry and wait then take us to the meal. All 3cars did 2runs each to get all the guest moved but it was great to not have to worry about driving. Plus a bargin its worth an ring around.
Caryons always go down well. Im thinking pipecleaners to maybe make somd into flowers and butterflies etc to get the ideas going?

sashh Thu 14-Feb-13 05:54:42

For your dress - get thee to an Indian tailor. Or at least a sari shop. The colours and patterns are wonderful.

Saris are all 5 metres and fit everyone. The Shalwar suits come unstitched so you stich it to size later - or can be made with a pull cord that is adjustable.

although they are normally worn with trousers they can be made into a dress.

follow the link for an example

www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=shalwar+teal&hl=en&safe=active&client=firefox-a&hs=lys&tbo=d&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&as_qdr=all&biw=1600&bih=734&tbm=isch&tbnid=uvHFb8yHweZz_M:&imgrefurl=http://www.cbazaar.com/readymade-salwars/readymade-anarkali/teal-net-angarakha-style-anarkali-suit-p-slmaja949a.html&docid=jzLIEAYq8yezLM&imgurl=http://images.cbazaar.com/images/Teal-Net-Angarakha-Style-Anarkali-Churidar-Suit-SLMAJA949A-u.jpg&w=800&h=1100&ei=bnkcUfLhCo6XhQep6YG4Bg&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:73,s:0,i:305&iact=rc&dur=982&sig=115539594728524125126&page=2&tbnh=187&tbnw=139&start=31&ndsp=43&tx=68&ty=105

Love the idea of boardgames. A couple of helium ballons could be fun.

Photos - disposable cameras on the tables? If you are not bothered about dh seeing your dress then book into a photographers a week before and just have a portrait done then you have one good professional pic and just collect the others from friends.

Transport - what do you want? Would just a taxi be OK?

I knew someone who had a routemaster bus and picked her guests up on the way.

Walking? Very romantic.

You can do as much or as little decoration as you want. What about sweets? Scatter quality street over the table or maybe boiled sweets wrapped in cellophane.

MrsPennyapple Wed 13-Feb-13 22:49:43

Bike The best man is flying over so won't have transport. Don't people normally hire limos, etc? That's probably unnecessary expense, so am just thinking of an alternative. DP's vehicle is a working vehicle, it's, erm, unsuitable. Taxis are probably the best solution. That on its own isn't a massive deal, it was just one more thing that needs deciding on and arranging.

Exasperated Love the colouring competition idea! (And the tentacle theme too, that made me smile.) I was winding MIL up the other day when she asked about tablecloths and I said we weren't having them. I almost had to fetch the smelling salts. (We are having tablecloths, but nothing fancy, just what the pub are supplying.)

Really appreciate everyone's suggestions, I think I sort of have a few ideas forming now.

BikeRunSki Wed 13-Feb-13 20:28:37

Surely transport for bride and groom to reception is a lift with best man, own car or taxi?

ExasperatedSigh Wed 13-Feb-13 16:37:11

*Table decs*: we had a colouring competition for the kids at our wedding - printed off lots of octopus pictures (in keeping with theme of wedding, which was 'tentacles' grin) and provided loads of crayons. All the adults ended up getting into it too! DH says one of the highlights of his day was looking up and seeing the whole reception room, heads down, feverishly colouring grin

Re. everything else: I felt like this too, pretty much the whole way through planning our wedding, and it was hard not to feel drained of joy beforehand BUT the day itself was totally brilliant. The main things to remember are:

- do what you want and don't do what you don't want - sounds stupid but there are so many things that people assume they must have, like hired chair covers and bloody table crystals and fancy transport etc. Choose what's important and go with that. E.g. we didn't have a wedding cake as neither of us were fussed, didn't do a table plan, didn't do anything much that was formal.

- make sure you tell your guests what is happening when. Guests want to know where to go and when they'll be eating and drinking. Everything else is just detail and if you're hungry, thirsty and tired it's hard to care about that. The last wedding I went to, the bride's family had handmade EVERYTHING and kept going on about how handmade everything was. However, the main priorities for most guests (food/drink/schedule) had been rather neglected, meaning we all spent hours standing around in a damp field with nowhere to sit, nothing to do, no food and no booze. Which made it hard to show real appreciation for a bunch of handmade pompoms grin

MrsPennyapple Wed 13-Feb-13 16:27:17

X-posted with a couple more. Thank you for your suggestions. Got to go now but might well be back later to set the S&B gang a mission smile

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