Help me think of cool SMALL wedding stuff, cos I'm rubbish

(38 Posts)
BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 12:28:50

Have name changed because, well, this is just a tentative thing at the moment.

Been with DP for <counts> 18 years, since we were 18 in fact. We still really like each other and now have 3 DCs smile

We've never wanted to get married, there's no need and I'd rather spend the money on a new kitchen tbh! But then, we went to make a will and it seems if we are unmarried and we were to die, then our children could lose a massive amount of their inheritance to the taxman. There is a complicated way around this which involves setting up trusts or something, but it seems easier to get married. So...

Of course, we could just go and get married on our own and would just need witnesses. Who? It would be tricky to choose any of our friends over others, same with relatives. We could find strangers on the day?

But then I think, well, we do like hosting parties, but would HATE to be centre of attention. And when I mention it to people they say things like, "it would be a shame not to have a little party..."

So I start thinking about a small do for 15 or so. Then the guest list grows... then it shrinks because I can't bear the thought of a proper wedding.

GAH!

So help me with some cool ideas for small, personal INFORMAL weddings.

We'd need a dance floor so registry office and meal isn't quite right.

TIA

bran Sat 20-Oct-12 14:54:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ruprekt Sat 20-Oct-12 14:57:47

The coolest wedding I ever saw was on Peak Practice a few years ago.

The couple invited friends round for drinks and snacks one evening and then informed them it was their wedding party!

They had been to the RO to do the deed and then just went home with their nearest and dearest!

Brilliant idea. And one I would consider if I had not done the whole marquet thing 13 years ago!!!!

Marzipanface Sat 20-Oct-12 14:59:04

Seperate the two events. This is what we did. We had the registry office with a few witnesses and then a couple of pics taken in the garden. We had a curry afterwards!

Then a party at home a few days later in the house, (had a big garden at the time), Food, champers, music quite laid back. We had tea, iced tea, meringues, cakes and a wonderful assortment of 'teaparty' food. The plan was to have it all out in the huge garden but sadly it rained. Still good fun.

Later on the music got louder, chairs got pushed back, more guests turned up and we ordered in pizza!

SilveryMoon Sat 20-Oct-12 15:20:21

sideburns yeah, I'm in the UK sad
I'll have tot hink of something else then.

DontmindifIdo Sat 20-Oct-12 17:42:41

sorry SilveryMoon - was about to tell you the same thing, it's not like in the US where the person is licenced to perform marriages, it's the place, which is why when you go to an 'outdoors wedding' you find the bride and groom are often stood in a gazebo - the gazebo will have a licence.

Any location with a licence is usually more expensive to hire, but it's surprising where you can get married, if you contact your local council (some have it on the website) you should be able to get a full list of every location in the area.

SilveryMoon Sat 20-Oct-12 18:08:52

Oooohhhhhh, thanks DMIID
Not that we're seriously planning to get married. Dp is not keen on the idea and has to get a divorce first.
he's been separated for 8 years (2 years before we met) and 'hasn't got round to it' doesn't want to I think

BodsFod Sat 20-Oct-12 18:22:50

Had a brief convo with DP this afternoon and he thinks we should just go and do it with no party at all.

I know what he means. But now I'm thinking about a party and I like throwing a decent bash! sad

Again the guest list swings back to two strangers and no tipis.

DontmindifIdo Sat 20-Oct-12 18:29:47

(SilveryMoon - have you pointed out his wife is still his next of kin and if he was in an accident she would be the one who gets to make the 'DNR' decision, not you, plus even if he has a will leaving everything to you, she could contest it as his 'dependent')

OP - how about just the 2 of you for the wedding, then have a normal-ish party the following day/week later?

SilveryMoon Sat 20-Oct-12 18:32:05

Yes DontmindHe seems to be a bith thick and not truly understand what I'm saying.
I assume that's the case over that he just doesn't care what happens to me and the ds's if he dies.

I'm thinking of contacting her and asking her to file for divorce that I will pay for and then offering them up to him as his xmas present! grin

SilveryMoon Sat 20-Oct-12 18:32:46

(them=divorce papers)

sashh Sun 21-Oct-12 06:00:40

Bods

Aomeone I worked with had an unusual wedding arangement, she was from Preston, he was from Plymouth (I think - very south anyway).

They hired a Routemaster bus and picked up their local guests on the way to the registry office (pre being able to marry in hotels etc) then they drove south and had a party with his friends and family, they they came back to preston the week after and did it again.

How far would you expect people to travel?

How about you have a quik register office do, with strangers as witnesses, then send a post card saying 'just married' and date and time of the party.

My local pub often caters for sunerals, and I always think 'this would be ideal for a small wedding'.

hersuit Sun 21-Oct-12 11:09:36

I think the separate wedding & party idea is a good un.

Praps go somewhere gorgeous for the weekend, immediate family only (if anyone) as guests.

Am living vicariously here but sommat like this? http://www.luxuryfamilyhotels.co.uk/

Then have a massive party planned for a week or so later. No fuss, no being centre of attention, no pressure!

I understand your DP's POV. It was never your thing & it's just a practicality etc. However...you two have a lot to celebrate- 3 kids AND you still like each other- and that deserves a party in itself, wedding or no wedding. IMHO grin

Ok, so when's the party? Must start an outfit thread, I have NOTHING to wear..

CuriousMama Sun 21-Oct-12 14:07:33

Aww BodsFod that's not nice sad It's your day too!

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