Am I Insane?

(55 Posts)
milkteef Thu 16-Aug-12 11:13:05

Hi everyone. DP and I have been together for almost four years and two years ago he proposed. We're on a tight budget but would like to get married. It wouldn't be a big white wedding (I'm having a lovely ivory dress made in China - a reputable company that my best friend got her wedding dress from last year), a simple register office ceremony, afternoon tea in hired out pub afterwards and then a simple buffet and disco for 60 in the evening.

I've decided to keep costs down that I would do everything myself ie. make my own wedding decorations as much as I can, cater a cold buffet and afternoon tea myself with a little help with transportation and cooking from my sister and her wife, do all of my own hair and make-up and possibly the bridesmaids too, source things second hand and from ebay shops etc but I keep getting told that this won't work and I am insane. We're on a budget of £1300 for everything - the bridesmaids are paying for their own low-budget maxi dresses, bags and shoes but I think it's perfectly doable as I'm not expecting more than to marry my best friend and have a bit of a knees up.

I've had comments about my hen night too. I've decided to do a cocktail masterclass in a cocktail bar in the next city with just myself and my three bridesmaids and then meet up with the other women later on for a night on the town. I'd pay the £150 for the masterclass, some drinks and a private area but the rest of the night is pay your own way and if anyone else wants to come to the masterclass they pay the £30 a head themselves. Apparently this is all wrong. It's my wedding, I've been with my partner for four years, we live together and have DC's and to be honest, I'm not interested in neon fancy dress, getting rat assed pissed and strippers. I'd rather organise it myself and have a good night out rather than the 'last night of freedom' stuff.

So far we have the ceremony, bridesmaids sorted, flower girls sorted, hen night, photographer, a reception venue, the menu, the rings, the flowers (artificial), DP's suit etc all planned and booked and we just have to pay it off over the next 13 months. We were going to buy Spotify as a makeshift DJ where people could make their own playlists to go with ours. I was going to put £80 behind the bar for welcome bucks fizz or cava and a toasting drink but then have it be a pay bar and was going to spend a maximum of £150 on cakes, sandwiches and then the lot for the evening buffet. I think it's completely doable if I make some cakes and go to Iceland and Asda for buffet items.

Am I really insane?

milkteef Thu 16-Aug-12 13:05:10

My maid of honour is helping me the night before to do the decorations and my dad and sister will take the food to the venue from my house and her house between the ground group shots and the time my husband and I (so strange to write that down) are doing our couple shots in the park. We'll be gone around 45 minutes and it's only ten minutes from my house to the venue in a car. Everyone will be at the venue having tea and cakes then before we arrive to join in.

KickTheGuru Thu 16-Aug-12 13:15:52

Pick an MC as well - like your dad. Ask him to take control of shouting out what will happen and when people need to do stuff.

I had an MC but didn't think that people will mill about until they are told what to do

milkteef Thu 16-Aug-12 13:16:16

I'm kind of thinking of scrapping the tea part. As nice as it would be it might be too much to wash up. At least if we just lay on mini tortilla wraps, prawns, finger sandwiches and cakes they can be washed down with tea or coffee bought at the bar (I'll buy the tea or coffee enough for one each) so they do the washing up behind the bar and the plates can be reused for some of the evening buffet things. They'll have a welcome toast of bucks fizz/cava, orange juice anyway to drink with them and then the evening will start at 7pm.

So it would be:

3pm - Ceremony & grounds of the register office shots of everyone
4pm - Park shots for us and the bridesmaids while the food is taken to the venue
4:45pm - Get to the venue, eat, mingle, have more photos done inside the venue.
7pm - Evening guests arrive.
7:30pm - Cake cutting, evening buffet and disco starts.

The only issue I have is that with a cold buffet a lot of the stuff like rice, pasta, meat etc would need to be refrigerated. I could sort out that the evening buffet things could be brought up and arranged around 6:30pm before the evening guests arrive so they would only be out of the fridge for an hour?

KickTheGuru Thu 16-Aug-12 13:21:17

We were going to have like picnic baskets on the grass after the ceremony and before heading up to the restaurant but we decided against it.

We had finger snacks at the restaurant. Otherwise it just added up financially as well. And the logistics get a bit much too.

Keep it simple. Ceremony - Bar. Then have whatever at the bar and see if you can get a couple waiters. That's the bargain about not doing it at home

milkteef Thu 16-Aug-12 13:28:02

It's the logistics I'm worried about. I can make enough finger snacks for 35 guests for under £40 including mini chicken wraps, cream cakes, macaroons, rice dishes, pasta dishes, crusty bread, little sandwiches etc so it would come under budget, especially as I'm just making a few homemade things for the buffet in the evening and relying on Iceland's lovely cheap priced party packs that actually taste alright so for a party of around 60 I could make it for under £60 leaving me £50 under budget for food. I want the extra £50 just in case though.

DP's uncle is a fantastic cake maker. I am considering asking him to make us a two tier iced cake (one tier red velvet and the other a simple buttercream sponge) and seeing how much he quotes. I would love it to be given as a wedding present but I obviously can't expect that but it's probably going to be much cheaper than the £200 I was quoted for a plain white iced one tier cake.

I have some time to figure out if people could help me transport the food and on Monday when I visit the venue I can ask if there's any way I could rent fridge space in their kitchen. The venue we chose doesn't have a room hire but you pay for the extra bar staff (five hours for £55 for two bar staff) so essentially I'm getting the entire pub for £55 on the premise that they make their money back when our guests buy drinks and I put money behind the bar for drinks.

I'm one of those people who likes everything done immediately. I'd love to have everything chosen, everything booked and everything planned so that it's just working out what to pay off when and counting down the days! Yes, I have a countdown app!

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