How to find my 'inner bride'?!

[cakeismysaviour]

Myself and my boyfriend have been talking about getting married for quite some time and following the birth of our DS last month, we really want to go ahead and get married. However, I can't find any motivation to plan a wedding. Several friends are getting married and they are really excited to plan their weddings. I was talking to one of them today and whilst she was chattering away about her napkins and invites I was yawning thinking about the fact that I really can't get excited about these things. I really want to be married but I am just not interested in weddings. I have thought about eloping with nobody there but boyfriend wants his family to be there.

I have been told that every woman has an 'inner bride' but i'll be damned if I can find mine! Help!!

[LizaTarbucksNonSmokingAuntie]

I think your inner bride will appear when you find your idea of a top day/way to celebrate

You don't have to care about napkins and lots of people have perfectly lovely wedding days and also go on to have stable marriages without even considering the colour of the table decorations :)

[CleverClod]

Have you set the date yet?

You will find once the date is set and you HAVE to start making plans, that your inner bride kicks in - just try not to get carried away once it does :o

[raspberrytipple]

Agree with those above, once you set a date and decide how you want to do it you will get into it a bit more. I was a bit reluctant but once we set the date and started to tell people I started to really enjoy it

[Trills]

Why would you want to? If you are not interested in table decorations then you are not interested in table decorations. It's not compulsory to have anxiety attacks about the bridesmaids' dresses matching the chair-backs you know.

[MelancholyAngel]

Bugger was I supposed to worry about napkins!

You know what I don't think any of the matters enjoy a day that you and your Husband want with the people you love most. It can be as flashy or as simple as you like it is still a wedding and you will still be married at the end of it.

But in answer to your question i'm sure you will get more into it as time goes on.

[cakeismysaviour]

Thank you for the replies :)

No date yet as I can't decide where I want to be married, which would be a good start!

I know that I don't have to have the colour themes and tiny details and all that stuff, but I can't even think of 'simple' wedding ideas. Honestly I'm useless!! Perhaps I should begin by looking at dresses? I have never really liked traditional style wedding dresses, but I know I can really wear any dress I like and I am usually all about the outfit choices!

[Ephiny]

I would not worry about it being traditional and 'weddingy' if that's not what you like. Do you like having parties and entertaining? Think of it like that, a party for friends and family, and then choose food/music/decorations etc accordingly. You can keep the actual ceremony part very simple if you want

As for the dress, think of it as an excuse to treat yourself to a really nice outfit, spending a bit more than you normally would!

I'd probably choose the venue first of all, as that's likely to be your biggest expense, then you can budget for the rest with that in mind. And the choice of venue might affect what sort of catering you can have, for example, and how many people you can invite. Also once you've set a date and booked the venue, it forces you to get on with sorting out everything else :)

[cakeismysaviour]

I like going to parties! As for organising them, I think the last time I organised a party was a halloween party at uni....

I am looking at venue choices, hoping that one will jump out as 'the one'. Hopefully I will find something I like eventually! I was thinking maybe a very small ceremony followed by a meal in a nice restaurant?? Mind you I do like a good party, but it would have to be an informal type thing IYSWIM..

[VikingLady]

One of my best friends got married in the most bride-y way you can imagine... Castle, private beach, the flowers had to match the confetti, the sprinkles on the tables, the dresses, the chairs... She made her own biscuits for when people arrived, did her own catering etc. It was a gorgeous wedding, and I'll remember it, but they were filing for divorce 3 months later.

This time around, she and her new man are inviting parents, siblings and their respective kids only. I reckon it'll last longer.

Another friend is getting married in a month and not telling anyone. I can understand.

[oohlaalaa]

Trust me, it'll come.

Just focus on what you and DH want, and not what the wedding industry tells you, you want.

[munstersmum]

We did it back the front - went round venues asking if any availablility in following 4 months. Certainly narrows the choices but we were happy with the hotel we went with. The point being if you don't allow yourselves months / years to faff over little niceties you'll just concentrate on the important bit - you and your loved ones celebrating.

ps You can also avoid wedding dress shops. 2 friends & I went to Meadowhall and had a lovely day choosing dresses for all three of us. A good time of year now as a lot of dramatic evening dresses in shops if don't want traditional.

[mummymccar]

Check out rockmywedding.co.uk - I'm not fussed about table decorations, chair backs, etc either but I'm addicted to RMW. Every day they post a new wedding and I just love seeing the smiles on everyone's faces. Helped me find my inner bride!