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Weddings

Is this now a normal request?

20 replies

keepsongoing · 07/02/2011 13:15

Have received an invite from a friend of dp for the evening reception, have never met the bride so not sure if she is a private/shy person but the groom is very outgoing. In the card was a request not to upload photos to social-networking sites. Is this becoming a normal request? Have been to 5 weddings in the last year and not had it before.

Not sure what I think tbh, on one hand quite glad that photos of me might not end up on others fb pages but I know the groom has photos of others weddings on his and it has a slight whiff of bridezilla. Surely what people do with their pics are up to them?

Do they mean pics of Bride/groom/bridesmaids/cake etc or that I can't put up ones of me/dp/mutual friends that are going?

OP posts:

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LizaTarbucksAuntie · 07/02/2011 13:16

wow I've not heard of that.

Suppose it's up to people isn't it, at least they are being clear beforehand rather than peeved afterwards....

scurryfunge · 07/02/2011 13:17

Unless the pictures are of children I can't see how she could enforce such a bizarre request.

Sounds a bit control freaky to me (and I don't do fb at all).

Pictish · 07/02/2011 13:18

I don't know what it means - I don't think they could realistically expect you to refrain from sharing photos of yourself and your family.

However, one of my super pet hates is finding that a hideous phto of me has been tagged with my name and everyone on my friends list can see it whether I want them to or not. Don't like that at all....to the extent that when I see camera coming out, I retreat well out of the way.

So I dunno...

dilbertina · 07/02/2011 13:18

hey, they're not famous are they? Maybe they've done an exclusive deal with "Hello"!

everythingchangeseverything · 07/02/2011 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stewmaker · 07/02/2011 13:21

i would assume she means pics not of you and your mates....
each to their own, are you friends on facebook? if you don't tag she won't know...

i wouldn't upload them, don't understnd it, but no biggie

keepsongoing · 07/02/2011 13:22

I'm not sure how they would ever find out if I did it- I'm not friends with either of them on fb (very few friends on there tbh just friends & family that live abroad so can keep in touch & have highest security settings). I wouldn't have even thought to do it unless there was some nice ones of me and dp having a rare night out!

OP posts:

keepsongoing · 07/02/2011 13:23

I could understand if it was pics of ceremony, speeches etc but we're going to the evening so guess the only pics we could get would be of the dress.

OP posts:

stewmaker · 07/02/2011 13:26

if it's you and dp then ignore her and don't mention the occassion

NorbertDentressangle · 07/02/2011 13:28

There might be some complicated story behind it eg. some dodgy relative or ex that could cause problems for them?

blondiemermaid · 07/02/2011 13:28

I have had this from ex sil she wanted to be the first to put up pictures of her wedding andnot have everyone putting their pictures up first

MandyC2 · 07/02/2011 13:31

Haha good one dilberina! She definitely sounds like a controller, but if it works for them-to each their own.

Technically they cant moniter everyones fb so I'm guessing pics will go up...

keepsongoing · 07/02/2011 13:40

I understand they may want to be the first to show off their wedding pics and have no intention of stealing their thunder or anything like that but not sure how this request can actually work?

I did think that I would get loads of replies saying that it is quite a common request but maybe it is a strange one!

OP posts:

dilbertina · 07/02/2011 15:53

ok, so not famous...is one of them MI5 or undercover policeman? maybe photos of them on facebook may blew their cover!

BlameItOnTheBogey · 07/02/2011 15:55

If you don't know the bride then there may be a back story. My sister was tracked down by her nutty Exp from whom she had escaped in the night because someone uploaded wedding pictures onto the web. Could it be something like this?

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 07/02/2011 15:59

I thought the same as Bogey. There might be a good reason why the bride doesn't want her face on the book of face.

rubyrubyruby · 07/02/2011 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TottWriter · 14/02/2011 13:40

I think this is quite sensible actually, though I might have worded it more tactfully. A flat-out "no" puts people's backs up, while phrasing it "to respect the privacy of other guests we would ask that you refrain from posting photos where other guests can be easily identified unless you have their permission," sounds more that you are being considerate, maybe including a thing about children if it isn't a no-kids wedding. Yes, some people may ignore it anyway, but you've tried, and it does make people think. And in thr invitations is a good idea; as the bride/groom do you really# want to chase down everyone on the big day to let them know the rule?

I might put something to that effect on my invites actually (will stress over how to phrase it better than my above example now!); my DC will both be under 4 at my wedding, and while I occasionally post pics and vids of them, I know my privacy settings are quite high, while other people don't necessarily do that.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 15/02/2011 08:59

There could be a very good reason - as others have stated. It might not be the bride or groom even, but one of the guests.

I think it's a reasonable request tbh.

oohlaalaa · 24/03/2011 18:26

I found out via Facebook that I had not been invited to a work colleague's wedding that everyone else had been.

There were seven girls at work, inc me of similar age, and we always had lunch together, until one of the girls started being rude to me. I decided that I wasnt going to put up with it, and started doing my own thing at lunch.

One of the girls of same age got married, and I asked another how the wedding had been that weekend, assuming she would have been there as these two girls were particularly close, but was told she hadnt been invited. I was rather surprised by this, as I'd already heard her mentioning how beautiful it had been to one of the secretary's. I suspected that she'd been trying to save my feelings.

Although I wasnt friends with this person, we shared a friend in common on facebook, and I could view her photos. I checked to see if she'd lied to me, and found that all the girls from the office had been asked, but me.

I'd already realised that I was not part of their click, but still hurt, as in my mind I'd always been nice to them, and when I realised they were leaving me out of things, just left them to it, deciding that I'd got a nice group of friends at home and didnt want to be pushy.

After this, I started looking for another job.

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