Will she EVER eat???

(41 Posts)
Gina1981 Mon 03-Dec-12 12:03:17

Dd is 12m and is breastfed. Food is so hit and miss. We did blw with a tiny bit of spoon feeding. She doesn't entertain breakfast or lunch and sometimes will eat dinner. Generally shows no interest in food. She bfs around 4-5 a day and sleeps through the night. At the moment she is very poorly with an upper respiratory viral infenection and has not eaten a thing since Saturday and has upped her bfs. Whilst I completely understand that she doesn't want to eat right now, I can't help worry that she will ever eat again. It's bad enough trying to get her to eat when she is well, but now she is like this I can't see her ever eating again. Seriously I am so worried now and can't take anymore. I don't know where to go from here. Normally we all sit down to eat together and I put the food infront of her with cutlery and she explores and no pressure. Nothing goes in and if it does its a tiny amount. I've tried sitting her in my lap and letting her take from my plate but she just throws it everywhere and probably thinks its a game. I can't keep living like this. Please surely someone has some advice for me x

bishboschone Mon 03-Dec-12 12:06:15

I no nothing about breast feeding but with bottle feeding you cut back a bit so they take more food . My ds is 15 months and at 12 he was down to a bottle morning and night . So he had room for food .. Does that make sense ?

choceyes Mon 03-Dec-12 12:10:48

You sound like I was with my DD! She only started eating anything after 12 months. She was a massive bfer and no intrest in food whatsoever. She only started eating after starting at nursery at 12 months and seeing the other children eat, and ofcourse go without her precious BM for 8hrs! I too was pretty stressed at her not eating till then. We also did BLW, with a tiny bit of spoon feeding (mainly for my convinience as had a 2yr DS too), but she only ever took a couple of spoonfuls before refusing that too. She mainly played with food. No interest in it whatsoever as something to eat. I used to give her tiny bits of food whilst she was in her sling (she liked to be carried a lot), and that way she ate bits of meat and fruit. She was nice and healthy and maintained her weight on a 99% BM diet though.

She is 2.3yrs now and she loves her food. Eats a good amount and variety and tries everything. DS, who took to food easily as a baby is a lot more fussy about foods now.

Hope your DD is better soon and she will eat soon don't worry.

nickelbabeuntiladvent Mon 03-Dec-12 12:14:15

she'll eat again, don't worry!

DD has been poorly too, and has drunk more milk than can possibly be humanly possible!
but she's coming out the other end and nibbling.

we tend to put a plate of food on the floor and she kind of picks at it.
(when we first put it down, we put it on her lap and sometimes "show" her the food)
but we don't do highchair and sitting at the table (mainly because our table is invisible under all the crap that's piled on it), so mealtime isn't a forced procedure. (she has eczema, and when she's strapped in to anything she rubs her wrists against the straps making them sore, so we try to avoid putting her in restraints when we don't need to - journeys are stressful enough without adding it to food too!)

NiceOneCenturion Mon 03-Dec-12 12:17:50

I haven't much advice but couldn't let this go unanswered you sound so worried. If it's any reassurance my ds, while he always explored food enthusiastically, often seemed to take very little in. He's 19 months now and some days eats really well and at other times can go days it seems on not much, particularly if teething or coming down with something. He was also finger foods from the start and is still breastfed.

How is she doing generally? is she having lots of dirty nappies? Because if food is going through and she‘s gaining weight well and meeting milestones then perhaps she is just going at her own pace. They do have tiny tummies and sometimes need less than you might think.

My local LLL had this book www.amazon.co.uk/My-Child-Wont-Eat-mealtimes/dp/1780660057/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354536883&sr=8-1 which might be helpful.

bishboschone Mon 03-Dec-12 12:25:37

I will add ds and peers don't eat when thy are poorly .

givemeaclue Mon 03-Dec-12 13:02:30

I was worried as mine were under weight when born. I asked health visitor to come and observe a meal which she did and it really put my mind at rest and took the stress away

Gina1981 Tue 04-Dec-12 09:38:57

Should I be worried that dd still hasn't eaten a thing since Saturday? I weighed her this morning and she has lost just under a pound???

choceyes Tue 04-Dec-12 09:40:52

A pound is a lot to lose for a small child. Have you taken her to the docs?

choceyes Tue 04-Dec-12 09:42:04

I wouldnt worry about her not having had any solids since Saturday though. It's normal for ill children. Have you tried giving her some favourite foods, even a bit of chocolate, to keep her strength up?

Gina1981 Tue 04-Dec-12 10:30:15

I'm here at the doctors now waiting to be seen. I've trried everything you can imagine to tempt her to eat but nothing what's so ever. Dd is allergic to cows milk so haven't tried her with chocolate. sad

nickelbabylyinginamanger Tue 04-Dec-12 13:31:11

let us know how it goes.
i think if you're BFing on demand, it should be fine (at least it'll be getting fluids and nutrition in while she's poorly).
and she might lose weight because she's ill, rather than because she's not eating iyswim.

Gina1981 Tue 04-Dec-12 14:21:24

Dd has been put on antibiotics as the doctor could hear crackling in her chest and her ears are red. She keeps coughing which is making her vomit. She is keeping very little down. I just can't see her eating after this. I don't know what to do anymore!! Do I offer food, don't I?

nickelbabylyinginamanger Tue 04-Dec-12 14:24:18

just offer her BF.
that's all she'll want and it means she can get cuddles too.
try solids again tomorrow.
(or when she's prancing around like a loon like DD does when she's poorly!)

have you tried toast today?
we ate toast and frosties...

NiceOneCenturion Tue 04-Dec-12 15:19:21

Sorry to hear your dd is unwell, but yes keep bfing, in my experience it's normal for them to lose their appetite for solids for a few days when ill, she'll be fine with just milk, especially as she's still so young.

Try offering toast, or maybe cereal when she's perked up a bit, but try not to worry too much, she will eat again when she's better and ready.

Gina1981 Wed 05-Dec-12 09:32:16

Day 5 of dd being very poorly and still hasn't eaten anything whatsoever. I've tried offering toast cereals etc but not interested at all. sad

NiceOneCenturion Wed 05-Dec-12 10:37:22

You must be very stressed. What did the doc say with regard to food intake? Can you get any reassurance there or perhaps from your HV? I know they are usually more concerned about hydration, it might help though if they gave you an indication of when lack of solids would become a problem. Milk is still a major source of nutrients, so she is taking in some 'food'.

When my ds had bronchiolitis at 9 months he didn't eat solids for about 6 days, and he went off milk for one of those days so I know how worrying it can be.

When he had chesty things he did seem to not really want stodgy foods but he would eat fresh juicy things like sliced grapes, so maybe they go down more easily. Sweet as well, so just another idea.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Wed 05-Dec-12 12:45:01

yes, that's a good point, maybe something sweet would work too.

Gina1981 Wed 05-Dec-12 14:19:54

I have offered her watermelon, bananas, cucumber etc but nothing tempts her. Doc said that appetite should pick up 48-72hrs after starting antibiotics, if that's the case then I should notice her appetite to return maybe tomorrow or Friday!! I am at my wits end now. sad

Gina1981 Wed 05-Dec-12 14:20:53

She has turned her nose up at everything. When I say she hasn't eaten a thing she has literally not eaten a thing.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Wed 05-Dec-12 14:22:13

i think it's okay for you to stop offering her food if she won't take it. just keep Bfing and she'll come back to real food when she feels better.

it must be really stressful for you sad

yellowsubmarine53 Wed 05-Dec-12 14:27:34

Try not to panic about her not eating solids for a few days or a week. Honestly, she'll be find on bm for this time. When the antibiotics kick in, she'll hopefully feel better and start eating again gradually.

It sounds as though your concern about you dd's eating isn't just about her being ill. I would call the HV and see if you can get an appointment for support re solid food intake.

NiceOneCenturion Wed 05-Dec-12 15:25:15

She obviously very poorly, I'm sure she needs to start feeling a bit better before she will feel like eating anything, as nickelbaby says once the medication starts to help perhaps her appetite will come back.

Agree with yellowsubmarine53 though that you sound like you could do with some support with this generally.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 05-Dec-12 21:30:30

Please don't worry about her refusing solids, she is getting everything she needs from you including cuddles and white blood cells both of which she won't get from a piece of toast smile.

The milk will be enough to sustain her and it sounds like all she wants at the moment. Did you know that the milk changes as your baby grows and the milk will have a much higher fat content than it did when she was younger?

While she is poorly try to concentrate on bfing and nursing her back to health. Try to eat well yourself to and rest when you can. When she is well again start offering small portions of solids again and now she's past one you can start offering solids before the bfs.

If you want to cut down on the number of bfs when she is better a BFC will be able to advise you on how to do this, try the National Breastfeeding Helpline.

There is a book that will probably help, it's called Help My Child Won't Eat. Why not read it now and it may help when you do reintroduce solids.

But please don't stress too much. I've nursed both of mine through illnesses and reintroduced solids successfully, even with dd who has always been a fussy eater.

snowtunesgirl Wed 05-Dec-12 21:33:17

Gina, I think remember you from the BF forum. Sorry to hear that your DD is unwell. It's the season for it and my DD has been unwell too and I've just been offering her extra milk if she's not been feeling herself.

Gina1981 Thu 06-Dec-12 09:10:27

Thank you for all your support. I really appreciate it. Can someone post a link to the book please "help my child won't eat". I've looked it up and not too sure which one to buy. I had an awful time with my 2nd dd and all of this is bringing back the trauma. I don't mind nursing but I can very anxious when she then begins to show less interest in that too. She still hasn't eaten a thing. Dd is bf'ing less too. She has lost of a pound now. Stupid doctors don't care about her eating so I feel very alone on this sad

snowtunesgirl Thu 06-Dec-12 09:38:52

Gina, I would say that a pound is quite a bit of weight to lose. Is there any way you can see another doctor?

NiceOneCenturion Thu 06-Dec-12 10:22:15

My Child Won' t Eat

Hi there's a link above, I tried to link to it up thread but don't think it worked, so hope this one does.

NiceOneCenturion Thu 06-Dec-12 10:23:39

It' s by Carlos Gonzalez btw.

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 06-Dec-12 11:35:54

Gina if this bringing back the awful time you had before, I would speak to a BFC about how you are feeling and what is going on now. Try the national Breastfeeding helpline. If she is bfing less now could you take her back to the GP? Is she showing any signs of dehydration?

Gina1981 Thu 06-Dec-12 12:24:20

As of Friday she was 27lbs 3oz. She now is 26lbs. So that's 1lb 3oz lost since she stopped eating on Saturday! She is still producing wet nappies, but very little mind you and there are still tears! How long is it ok for her to go without "food"? She has fed from me about 4 times so far all being quite small Feeds!

Thank you for the link to the book, I've just bought it smile

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 06-Dec-12 12:30:41

It is fine for her not to eat solids until she's feeling better, you'll know when she is because she will want to play. If you are really concerned about her weight and general state please go back to your GP today.

Her not eating solids really isn't an issue when she is this poorly, what you really need to address is te fact that she doesn't seem to be getting better and your feeling about her not eating solids. I don't mean that in a bad way either, just think you have got the refusal of solids a little out of proportion due to your previous experiences and would benefit from talking to someone about it.

When you weighed her, was it on the same scales she was weighed on previously?

Gina1981 Thu 06-Dec-12 12:56:18

I have a set of scales at home. Dd2 had reflux and her weight gain was very poor. I weighed her on Friday on the same scales I weighe her today!! She definitely seems better than she was yesterday! She wants to play and isn't so clingy. I give up going to the GP as they never have anytime for you anymore.

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 06-Dec-12 13:16:31

It is such good news that she is feeling a bit better, and good for you too as it gives you a little break. You could always try her with a snack of raisins or a biscuit this afternoon and she how she gets on, it'll be less stressful for you both than trying her with a meal first.

I'd stop weighing her though as it seems to be making your anxiety worse. Lots of children lose weight when they are ill and recover. my ds used to go like a bag of bones everytime he had tonsilitis and soon put weight back on.

She seems a very bright and sensible little girl. She knows that BM is the best thing to make her better and you should too smile

yellowsubmarine53 Thu 06-Dec-12 16:50:48

26 lb for 12 months is a very good weight indeed.

I agree that you probably need to stop weighing her and get some support from the Health Visitor or someone in regard to you anxiety.

Very pleased that she's feeling better today.

snowtunesgirl Thu 06-Dec-12 19:21:15

Gina, I hope you will take this in the right way but I do remember from your previous threads that you were quite anxious about quite a lot of things. As others have said, is there anyone that you could talk to?

Gina1981 Thu 06-Dec-12 20:09:21

No offense taken showtunesgirl. My anxiety stems from dd2 and her reflux. We were in and out of hospital for a year and it was very traumatic for the whole family. Dd2 not suffers with chronic constipation and is on movicol. When dd3 came along I failed to live each day and was always on edge waiting for something to go wrong. It subsided when dd3 was 4 months or so, as you probably realised I wasn't posting anymore! I'm not normally an anxious person it only appears when my dd's stop eating for whatever reason. I guess I don't want ds3 going in the same direction dd2 went in. hmm

NiceOneCenturion Thu 06-Dec-12 22:24:09

I'm glad your dd is feeling better. It's completely understandable that you feel the way you do, it can make you feel so helpless when they're ill and you just want things to be back to normal. I think that jilted is right, they are resilient and do instinctively know what they need. It is so so hard when you''re in the midst of it though. I hope you get some improvement tomorrow.

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 07-Dec-12 16:22:56

Yes, your anxiety is completely understandable. Have you considered CBT, it should help you come to terms what has happened and hopefully stop you going into anxiety overdrive if dd3 stops eating solids again.

DoubleYew Sat 08-Dec-12 14:41:36

Firstly ds was like this, hardly ate any solids at 12 mo but just started eating overnight at 15 mo. I tried lots of stuff to get him to but he just did it all by himself. What a relief it was!

The other thing I wanted to say is, I hope it doesn't sound too rude and presumptious, but the level of anxiety you have over her not eating again seems over the top. I also recognise that level of worry. It is upsetting when they are ill and totally understandable to feel so stressed with what you've been through with dd2. I had post traumatic stress and it means I often over react and presume the absolute worst is going to happen. It is not a nice thing to live with. Maybe talk to your gp or hv if they are any use?

That book is great too.

JiltedJohnsJulie Sat 08-Dec-12 18:44:41

How are things now Gina?

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