PLEASE Help - Am at my wits end!

[jeweldancer]

Hi.
Am rather new to MN but I need HELP!

I started weaning DD2 a week before she was 6 months . Don't really remember what i did with DD1. First three days went really well - open mouth and yum. I may be got carried away but when it came to day three or four DD2 started the pursed lips and moving head away.

It is now a battle royal to get any food into her at all - i am trying to remain calm... Health visitor suggested a spoon in her hand and that works to sneak a spoonful in when her mouth is open to chew on her thing. I am concerned it is making it into a really bad experience for her (especially on a day like today when she saw the spoon and screwed up her little face to start to cry - take the spoon away and she is fine). The next thing HV said was to withdraw milk - she will never eat if she is isn't hungry - has become a battle of wills now. But three weeks on (expressing milk to keep me sane and giving it in a bottle which is one positive side affect). Still not much food passes her lips. She will hold a biscuit, or bit of apple or pear, cucumber or ? and have a go herself but when she gets a bit and gags i freak out... This means the breast first thing am, none till about 7/8 pm I started a small bottle of expressed milk 2.30 and 6 -7 ish to give wet nappies as they had stopped... Breast feed 7.30 till 8.30 then 9.30 till 10.30/11 tonight again at 12till 1am who knows when shell next be up should be sleeping not writing this.

Any advice???

[welliemum]

jeweldancer - don't worry - what you need is aitch and her famous blog here

The basic idea is that

1. dd2 is nutritionally absolutely fine with just milk - there's NO pressure to get her to eat if she doesn't want to.
   
2. all you have to do is put bits of food in from of her and let her have a go. She won't eat much, it's just fun for her and she is totally in control of what she puts in her mouth.
   
3. read all about gagging in the blog - it doesn't have to be a problem.
   
   It works, I promise!

[AllThreeWays]

Hey Jeweldancer.
One thing I have learned is you Can Not make your littlies eat.

1. Don't stress about it
   
2. Give it a rest for a while, try in another month.
   
3. Sweet veges and fruits, pureed seem popular. Try Carrots, pears, pumpkin, apple.
   
4. Try feeding her a small amount at your mealtimes, so she is joining in and copying.
   5.I repeat, don't stress. Bubs survive on milk, she will not be on the bottle, when she starts school. I PROMISE.

[Tapster]

I had a similar problem. Please don't cut down the milk no matter what HV says. The trick with my DD is to give the purees or spreads on bread/pita/rice cakes that she can hold herself. She did gag for about 3 days and vomited the food up then miraculously she stopped. I try and spoon some in and then I put it on bread and feed her, then she usually takes the bread and feeds herself. She is 6.5 months old.

So we sort of doing BLW but not completely as I don't find she can eat what I eat - ceasar salad and smoked fish?, I could probably change my diet to eat what she would eat though and will probably do so in a few weeks.
Good luck.

[Aitch]

my dd loves smoked mackerel and salad, tapster, although she doesn't much like dressing...

don't worry, jeweldancer, your instincts are great. you don't want a battle and you don't want to cut back milk.

read up about gagging (google it, and read what the ladies on the blog had to say) and try to chill out about it. the more they do it, the less they do it, iykwim? then just do what you want, that might be BLW or a mix of finger food and spooning with the two spoon thing. but don't worry that the baby is missing out nutritionally because she's missed a few teaspoons of sweet potato puree, you're more than capable of giving her everything she needs right now.

[ThomCat]

I'd also say that the important thing here is not to get stressed. She will eat but in her own time, she's not starving or even that hungry tbh, she's getting everything she needs from the milk still. At this stage it's all about her exploring food and she's bound to have a few reservations about it all. Just offer it to her and bit by bit she'll get more and more curious and before you know it you won't be able to keep up with her!

You could just leave things on her highchair / on the table for her to try, like half banana, some whole steamed carrots etc etc and leave her to play the way she would with a toy and she'll probably naturally grab a piece of food and shove it into her mouth. It'll also end up on the floor a thousand times. If you're like me you'll pick off the hair and give it back to her and repeat until it becomes to manky!

Aitch - where's your blog link for weaning ideas so Jewel can have soem ideas of food to put in fron tof her DD?

[Coriander73]

Don't stress! My DS was weaned at 26 weeks (now 36 weeks) but wouldn't take spoon or any manner of purees. So out of sheer desperation I gave him a banana to eat & he did, whole. This was soon followed by mango, brocolli, papaya, carrot, potatoe etc. As the others have said you really need to check out Aitch's blog about BLW as it's been brilliant for us & DS - even with no teeth & only two gagging (not choaking) episodes! And yes just keep milk intake up & as soon as they're getting enough food they'll drop their milk intake accordingly...

[Aitch]

wellie already linked to it but it's at babyledweaning.com, couldn't be easier to remember.

[ThomCat]

So she did, sorry. Great blog
I have some fab pics of Eve feeding herself a yoghurt if you ever want pics from people btw. xx

[Aitch]

are you crackers, i'd love it. aitch at babyledweaning dot com, please.

[Coriander73]

Can I send you some pics?!!! Have many of DS tucking into his fruit & veg....& tomatoe pasta...oh the mess

[TyrannosaurusRex]

i insist. (it's aitch btw_).

[Coriander73]

Just email them across to you then?! Lovely jubbly...went out for lunch yday & DS shared my pizza.. He has this habit of grinning when he's eating so you get his mouth open trying to grin with what ever he has in his mouth sticking out back at you, then he either swallows it or gives me back the skin....nice....

[jeweldancer]

Just a quick Hi to say Thanks for all your speedy responses.

Aitch - your website is fab. I feel so much calmer now and we started on Wed. and she is not eating a lot but there is some going in. The next thing to tackle is sleep... did controlled crying with DD1 so kind of have a plan... need to do something soon cos waking every 40 mins for a comfort suck is unneccessary!

Thanks again all

[welliemum]

That's great news jewel - thanks for the update!

If you figure the sleep out, let me know the secret....

The BLW blog is brilliant isn't it - Aitch is my hero [scary stalker]

[Aitch]

funnily enough welliemum, i think you're rather marvy too.
how cool that things are looking up, jeweldancer. have you seen anything in her nappies yet? that's hilarious. raisins come out as grapes!

[welliemum]

Aitch

BLW nappies are fascinating! Peas-and-corn nappy changes are specially exciting in a wriggly baby

[MadamePlatypus]

Incidentally, I was reading Nigella's feeding children chapter in 'How to Eat'. It is all about pureeing, but she does say somewhere that one carrot will stretch to several meals when you start weaning. I think its very easy to over estimate how much is 'normal' for a baby to eat.

[jeweldancer]

Yeah Madameplatypus we have to remember that what is 'normal' question. Portion sizing has always been a problem with me which is why I go to Weight Watchers.

To Aitch and Welliemum - I can't tell you how excited i was to see little bits of carrot.

As for sleep. Tried controlled type crying tonight... here goes! Put her down at 10 though and at nearly 11 that seems to be her asleep (dd1 it took and hour and fifty!!!) and dd2 only started crying at 1015... will let you know how tonight goes

[Aitch]

lol. i saved dd's nappy to show dh...

[welliemum]

Forgot to mention - peas-and-corn is great for BLW because it takes them aaaaages to pick up each individual pea and kernel, so you can have a nice leisurely cup of tea while they work away at it [evil]