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Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Weaning

Feeling tired and fed up - baby not eating.

18 replies

Jenkeywoo · 07/02/2007 22:37

Heather is 11 months old and barely eats any solid food. I see that there are a lot of similar posts here but I hope somewhere out there might be able to help me. Heather probably eats about 2-3 teaspoons of solid food over the course of a day. She takes the odd mouthful from a spoon and will also nibble at toast some days. She will not drink from a cup, spoon or bottle - any liquid that goes in her mouth she sprays out everywhere. She has also started spraying food out too, when she actually let's it get into her mouth. I do not have a problem with her not eating as such but the consequences mean that she is continually hungry and breastfeeding all the time. She feeds every couple of hours day and night, sometimes more and I feel so tired from it all. I don't want to stop breastfeeding but would like her to eat a bit of food too.

My MIL thinks she won't eat because she is always breastfeeding but I'm not convinced - we have tried her at different times and in different ways and are always greeted by the clamped shut mouth and now as she is older a strong arm pushing you away. I have actually decided not to go back to work after maternity leave as without me she would not eat or drink at all. I have left her for about 4 hours before and she has not taken any food or milk so just gets hungrier and hungrier. Her weight is also starting to drop through the centiles (from 50th to 25th) although the health visitor doesn't seem interested.

My questions are really, does anyone have any ideas about how to get Heather to eat? and secondly, when does it become a real problem that she doesn't eat? How long can she survive on breastmilk alone (I'm planning to breastfeed her till she's two but am really hoping it won't be every two hours till then! It's like having an 11 month old newborn).

Many thanks for your help and apologies if I'm repeating questions others have asked.

Jenny x

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Firepile · 07/02/2007 22:50

Hi there Jenny. I don't really have any helpful advice, but my ds is not dissimilar to this - he is now coming up for 1, and doesn't eat many solids. He's bf, and tends to feed a lot. There is a pretty helpful La Leche League book, called "My child won't eat" which is very reassuring.

Hopefully someone else will have some insights too.

AitchTwoOh · 07/02/2007 22:57

jenny, are you jenkey on another site? i recognise the name heather...

apparently that LLL book is brilliant, so it's worth a look. how is heather with finger food?

kidsrus · 07/02/2007 23:02

my 12mth dd loves jam sandwiches she licks the jam then eats the bread and throws it around, she also loves bananas,weetabix and yoghurts.
Thats about all she eats she's b/f too, i do keep trying and hope it's a phase.

Im sure if you can find just a few things she likes it better than nothing.

Oh i forgot chocolate she loves that and would eat it all the time who wouldn't

Jenkeywoo · 07/02/2007 23:03

Yes I am jenkey on a few sites - you may have seen me on the Ectopic pregnancy site or the Bliss message board? Or there could be another jenkey and Heather out there?! I'm fairly new to MN but it seems to have such a wealth of knowledge out there, you can almost guarantee someone out there will have some great advice!

Jenny

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hermykne · 07/02/2007 23:04

when do you feed her? is it a regular times or sporadic?

Jenkeywoo · 07/02/2007 23:07

Forgot to say that she is really enthusiastic with finger foods but doesn't get much actually into her mouth - has great fun palping food in between her fingers and eating little bits. I wouldn't have a problem with any of this if it weren't for the fact that the breastfeeding is taking so much time - I also have another daughter Emma who is 2 1/2 and I feel like I never get a chance to be with her as I'm always breastfeeding! on the plus side, emma has started 'breastfeeding' her teddies which is mega cute...

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Jenkeywoo · 07/02/2007 23:08

Regularly at breakfast, lunch and dinner when we are eating as a family and other times if she she looks like she might fancy something.

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hermykne · 07/02/2007 23:18

jenkey woo, i breastfeed my ds til 13mths but only morning and evening . no snacking or whenever he felt like it which he didnt .

maybe the snacking doesnt allow her have an appetite for food.
do yu want to feed that often?

emkana · 07/02/2007 23:22

Jenkeywoo, my dd2 was exactly like that. From reading on a different message board I have gained the impression that many, many babies who are truly b/fed on demand are not that interested in solids throughout their first year of life, maybe even 18 months. I think it's completely normal, and the best thing you can do is accept it, keep offering all sorts of food all the time, and wait for her to get eating at some stage.

My dd2 is now three and a half, well-nourished, and eats fantastically well.

Honestly it will happen, just give it a little bit more time!

Jenkeywoo · 07/02/2007 23:22

I don't want her to feed as much but I have tried letting her get hungry and it hasn't made any difference she just gets more and more upset. She is a really sensitive little one, and sometimes I feed her because it is such a comfort and stops her crying for a bit. (have tried a dummy, again no go, so it's 'mummy dummy' time for me)

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Jenkeywoo · 07/02/2007 23:23

Thanks for all the advice, I'm going to get that book from LLL and carry on demand feeding Heather as she seems to need it at the moment.

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AitchTwoOh · 07/02/2007 23:29

i remember you from the EPT site, jenkey. i used to be 'h' or 'h x'. wasn't a big pals-y type, though, so you probably won't remember.
good luck with heather's feeding, maybe she's taking longer to get the hang of things cos she's technically a wee bit younger?

kidsrus · 07/02/2007 23:29

How does your ds1 drink her drinks? sports botles? because i find my ds wont take cups or bottles with teats also spits out but will happily drink from my ds sports bottle because its squash and we say no.
Shes got a wicked grin when she is told no.
I think i would refuse the 2 hr b/f an only allow her to feed every 4 because while she b/f she won't want food.
Oh and try not to stress she will pick up on it and do it even more.
My d/d is between the 9th and 25th centile she is healthy,happy and walking.

Londoner · 08/02/2007 00:03

Hi Jenky and snap! My dd, now 15 months was/is the same. It's so good to read of others' experiences of the same thing! I have found it really helpful to take her out after 'breakfast' armed with perhaps some bread and butter stashed in my bag and perhaps a banana and to try and distract her as long as poss with the outside world and then casually offer her the food I've brought out while we chat about the trees/birds etc before she is due to get hungry. She will eat the things I offer. This technique enabled me to gradually stretch the time between each bf. I realised that it had to be gradual as her tummy was used to little and often.
But, did not try this technique until she was 14 months when hv suggested a food diary which was really helpful, I could see what was going on more clearly. It helped me to see windows in the day where I might offer solid food. It also made me feel more calm and in control about the whole situation as when bf every 2 hours 24/7 I had felt quite defeated.
The other tool I discovered was .... breadsticks... they have worked like magic for me, buying time in between feeds at the same time as getting her used to solid food. Good luck!

welliemum · 08/02/2007 05:23

Hi Jenkey

I wonder if Heather has picked up that you're stressed about her eating? They are getting really smart at that age.

I would echo what others have said - she sounds as if she's doing fine on breastmilk. But it sounds exhausting for you.

Have you tried just leaving bits of food in reach while she's playing, and pretending not to notice whether she eats or not? I'm thinking of easy finger food like pieces of soft fruit or potato. If you take the emotion out of it and the food is just "there" I wonder if she might relax about it and give it a go.

elibumbum · 08/02/2007 15:20

My 11mth old DS is the same (except he is on high calorie formula - he had FTT after silent reflux - long story). It is so frustrating. Actually, feeding DS has been a challenge from day one - he never really latched on properly so I expressed for him to drink out of a bottle for 4.5 months. Weaning hasn't been easy and it always seems 2 steps forward 3 steps back!

I've seen a dietian but they can only give you advice on what to feed (which is something I can work out my self!) not how to get them to eat it!

I'm going to order the LLL book and see if that helps.

elibumbum · 08/02/2007 15:21

I also wanted to say ditto on the tired and fed up bit!

Garners · 08/02/2007 15:31

Oh all this sounds so familiar!! Its so nice to find other people having the same troubles. My dd is 8months and i havent yet managed more than a couple of spoons and most of that is spat out. Because she refuses solids i end up giving her milk (she is ff) then she isn't hungery again - viscious circle! Does anyone have a milk/food plan for the day? My routine has completely gone out the window as i keep trying to feed at different times inthe hope that one day i'll get it right. Very frustrating.
Keep telling myself there must come a point when they will give in and eat something - i don't want to be spooning in banana breakfast when she is 15!! he he he

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